Feeling angry with myself

Toomuchdebt

If I hadn't spent so much on my cards my bf wouldn't have to live 45 miles away working because if he moved in my reduction in benefits would mean that we couldn't afford my credit card bills plus other bills and rent and council tax.I miss him already and it's going to be at least 6 months to a year before my debts reduce enough for him to move in(he's going to be helping me pay them which is very nice of him considering I spent most of it before I met him-probably about £2000 since I met him).I am soo ANGRY with myself!!!Why was I so stupid???

ETA He's going to be coming here on his days off and weekends but it's not the same as seeing him every day

frankie1_2

I have relied on credit cards to fund my lifestyle for years.
My family will now have to suffer the consequences until 2015, when my DMP will end.:eek:
They should only be a last resort option. I know this to my cost

youngandreckless

Try and think absence makes the heart grow fonder and how extra special your time together will now be. Don't be so hard on yourself, you can't change the situation so focus on the positive and remember its not forever. If you tell yourself to get through the first 6 months, then if it does end up being longer you can deal with it then, you never know you may win the lottery and be living in a mansion in 6 months time (well it doesn't hurt to dream..............)

CFC

Of course it isn't the same, but you'll survive. For financial reasons, my husband and I never got to live together until a year after we got married - I kid you not. (neither one of us could afford to support the other and one of us had to move to be together, and the job situation was v. complex) You think you won't survive it, but you do. And it's so wonderful when you are together. At least he's only 45 minutes away, not a flight and 400 miles...

Don't be angry with yourself - think of it this way - you've inadvertently given him the opportunity to prove he really cares for you, and he does. That's quite wonderful, and should give you a very deep sense of security which will help you overcome any future relationship difficulties.

Toomuchdebt

CFC wrote:

Don't be angry with yourself - think of it this way - you've inadvertently given him the opportunity to prove he really cares for you, and he does. That's quite wonderful, and should give you a very deep sense of security which will help you overcome any future relationship difficulties.

Oh CFC how I wish that was true but the truth is I'm very insecure and will be worrying all the while that he will want to leave me or that he will meet someone else I already half think that because he's the one who suggested this option and it doesn't seem to bother him like it does me

markmc999

Toomuchdebt wrote:

Oh CFC how I wish that was true but the truth is I'm very insecure and will be worrying all the while that he will want to leave me or that he will meet someone else I already half think that because he's the one who suggested this option and it doesn't seem to bother him like it does me

Men are complex beings while appearing very simple on the outside

We hate showing emotion so it possibly does effect him deep down he just doesnt want to show it!

lynzpower

OOh hun xxx

huggles to you x

Broken_hearted

Hugs. The time will pass quicker than you think. Good things are worth waiting for and it will be much better now you have learnt a valuable lesson about credit/debt.

Toomuchdebt

Thank you-I know I'm overreacting but it's mostly due to my marriage and divorce.He rang me this morning from work at 8am just to say hello so that made me feel a little better for about 5 minutes...I will get through this I know I will-but I'll be worrying every step of the way

On a brighter note my budgeting loan appeared in my account this morning-I feel rich for now-it's all going to Monument later today though.

CFC

Honey, think of it this way:

man suggests going to work elsewhere to help pay off debts.
man means 'Me Tarzan, you Jane, me sort problem.'.
man go to work, man come home, eat food, watch tv, maybe a pint in pub, man call Jane to say hello, man go to bed and do it all again next day.
man visit Jane when not working.
man think 'Good, problem solved. Life not too bad, all arms and legs in place, me see Jane regularly'
man not excitable.


Girl thinks 'He wants to move away from me. Saying he wants to pay off my debt is just an excuse. He's trying to end things slowly. Of course he'll find another female, how can he survive without female company to talk to? And how could he possibly love me? How long will it last without being together all the time? Are other women more attractive than I am? What does he see in me? When he says he cares, does he really mean it? How can he possibly manage without someone to discuss everything with in detail? How can he bear to be away from me for more than a day if he really loves me?
Girl gets herself into totally neurotic state and weeps fitfully on bed.
Girl is excitable.

Toomuchdebt

LOL CFC that made me smile-it's so true...he sent me a text last night to say "I love you" and sent me one this morning to say he misses me and the kids,so I keep telling myself it'll be OK...I just have to try and beleive it now