Thank you cards

PinkPeach

I went to the wedding of a very good friend in early April. They'd asked for money as a gift and I gave as much as I could afford at the time (£30). I would love to have been able to give more but simply couldnt' afford to in my situation. It's now July and despite having seen her since I've not received a verbal thank you or a thank you card and it's made me slightly worried that she felt I was being stingy (as I have no idea how much other guests gave). Do some couples just not bother sending thank you cards or do you think she somehow took offence to what I gave? (I realise if she posted it there is the possiblity of it being lost in the post)

laura2481

PinkPeach wrote: »

I went to the wedding of a very good friend in early April. They'd asked for money as a gift and I gave as much as I could afford at the time (£30). I would love to have been able to give more but simply couldnt' afford to in my situation. It's now July and despite having seen her since I've not received a verbal thank you or a thank you card and it's made me slightly worried that she felt I was being stingy (as I have no idea how much other guests gave). Do some couples just not bother sending thank you cards or do you think she somehow took offence to what I gave? (I realise if she posted it there is the possiblity of it being lost in the post)

If she took offense at your gift then she is not really a good friend friend, and is actually quite ungrateful.

Personally I will send a thank you card to everyone who attends my wedding whether they bring a gift or donate money or whatever.

On the other hand, maybe she hasn't got round to doing the thank you cards? Some people take a while to get it sorted what with going on honeymoon and possible organising photo thank you cards or similar.


Try not to let it worry you... you gave what you could and if she is ungrateful then it is her problem.

Curious_George_2

i think its a bit off not to thank people, lets face it its never just a present... you normally have to buy your own drinks at wedding now, plus lots of people buy a new outfit, then you have travel or accomodation expenses, maybe a day or two off work to attend one that isnt local etc... being a guest can be expensive!
all that and not even a sniff of a thank you?
i think its a bit rude to be honest, some people just dont do thank you cards... but a verbal thanks costs nothing

MrsC....tobe

Unfortunately some people don't bother sending thank you's anymore. I went to a few weddings last year and I think I got one thank you out of the whole lot!
Don't take it to heart, you gave what you could at the time and they should be grateful for it. If your friend is as good a friend as you say they are then they would probably know you couldnt afford much at the time and appreciate what they got......even if they haven't got the common courtesy to tell you that.

PinkPeach

Thanks for your replies, at least I'm not the only one thinking it's a bit off. We've been friends since we were 12 so thats why I was so surprised. The funny thing was is that when I last saw her after her honeymoon we were at her house and she had some lovely landscape pictures on her walls. I commented on how nice they were and she said they were a wedding present from our other friend, so even though she then had the opportunity to say thank you to me, she didn't.
Without being too pessamistic perhaps they haven't actually gotten around to sending cards out yet, who knows. I think I'll just have to let it go. My wedding in a few months so I'll be sending out my thank you cards as soon as possible after our honeymoon as I'd hate to leave anyone 'dangling'.

undercover_angel

I think its quite rude to be honest, maybe she isn't doing thank you cards and thats fair enough but to not even verbally say thank you or even drop you a text is just not on. I personally always make sure I thank everyone for pressies and even just cards at my birthday, christmas etc and our wedding will be no exception, everybody will get a thankyou- even if they don't buy us a gift, we will thank them for coming!

xxx

Dizzie77

I would be annoyed and disappointed if I didn't get a Thank You after a wedding present (or any other present, for that matter!!)
I haven't been to a wedding in recent years where I didn't get a written thank you card.

If it was me, I think I would be asking the couple whether they actually got the money.....
whilst I appreciate that people are busy after the wedding, 3 months is a bit long to wait for a Thank You...!!!

Mrs_Moore_To_Be

I think its very rude. Ill be sending them to everyone regardless if they contributed or not.

Id go with Dizzie and check they received it. x

PinkPeach

I'm sure she must have got the money as I delivered it to her mum a few days afterwards in an envelope with her and her husbands names on it, (as I'd not wanted to take it to the wedding with me incase it got lost). I'm the kind of person whose always been brought up to say thank you for everything so perhaps this is why it upset me a little bit. Having read all of your comments though has only reinforced by belief that saying thank you is the right thing to do because people really do appreciate it.

Kazz81

I think its really rude of your friend to not thank you for your gift, and as well for being part of her big day.

We went to a friends wedding last year, needed to travel to it, we stayed with them for the weekend, hadnt much spare cash but put what we could in a card for them. My friend thanked me over and over again for coming, for making the effort to be there and for helping calm her down before the wedding, and thanked us for the gift as well, saying she hadnt expected anything as we were travellling over to her. We didnt get a thank you card, but I thought the verbal thanks were enough for me in that instance.

I have been to plenty of weddings where there are no thank you cards-as long as there is some form of thanks, I think thats what matters most.

Cara79

That is terribly rude but agree some people don't seem to send thank you cards anymore.

Actually my OH was bestman in April and we gave them £100 cash and although we've seen them and had a verbal thanks - no card. Last year we went to 3 weddings and put cash in two and the other bought a gift off their list. Got 2 thank you cards and nothing for the other one (cash).

I find it very odd and I was also brought up to say thank you. I don't get married until October but am thinking of using Vistaprint so i can upload a wedding photo. I've even planned a few days off work after our honeymoon so that I can hopefully order the thank you cards before honeymoon and write/send them before I go back to work.

I think I would still question if they got the money/card even though you dropped it round to her mum's - it points it out then that actually it's quite rude!