Reducing wedding costs without sacrificing what we want...

Firemunchkin

I have spent much of the morning trawling these forums for ideas and solutions (and I've written down quite a few!) so apologies if this seems to run over old ground for some of you.

We are planning to get married in about 18/24 months' time - we have worked out VERY roughly that we need to save up around £20k and pay off our debts as well (totalling another £8.5k).

This is how is we have worked it out so far:

Venue: £2k-£3k (everything I've seen so far charges a LOT for day hire)

Food: £2k-£3k (with around 50-70 guests this is our rough estimate)

Drink: £2k (we want some champagne to start for toasts and then some money behind a manned bar)

Dress: £700 - £1,500 (I am getting a bespoke dress from a woman in Kent, I have yet to find out the exact price)

Suit: £700 - £1,000 (well if I'm having a bespoke dress, its only fair HE gets to have a tailormade suit!)

Car: £500 (approx - to bring his gran from Wales to London)

Entertainment: £1.5k (approx: we'd like a DJ, some face painting for the kids, possibly a cartoon artist)

Photographer: £1.5k (approx: I have only had one quote but am hoping there are some reliable photographers out there for less)

Honeymoon: £5k (the biggie, we don't get to go on holidays very often and if we're saving up lots and lots then we might as well save up a bit more for this, the holiday of our lifetime)

So, the way we're going to pay for it is thus:

His mum: £100 a month over two years = £2,400
My mum: £2,400 approx
We're getting a lodger: £450 a month over two years minus costs = £9,000 approx

After that we'll be saving the rest ourselves, and as you can see this is a considerable sum - £6,000 - £7,000.

We are going to look for venues which don't require us to use their preferred providers for flowers/food/drink, possibly hire a hall with an alcohol licence and get the rest ourselves. I understand from the forums here that this could dramatically reduce our costs.

The problem is we don't want a church wedding or a registry office wedding, we'd like somewhere we can have the ceremony itself. We love the idea of a converted barn - but the main thing is that we want something that doesn't feel sterile and impersonal. If I had my way I'd get married on a cliff overlooking the sea - but what about the weather?! We need to make sure we get somewhere that will be lovely if the weather is good, but also if the weather is bad.

If anybody knows of somewhere in the East London/close to M25 area that might be suitable then please recommend!

Food - we both like the idea of a BBQ or a paella and I've found a few on the web but so far have not gotten any quotes. If anybody has any recommendations that would be fab!

Drinks - provided we can get our own into the venue then we'll source these ourselves. However, we would like a manned bar, does anybody know of a company that does pop-up bars?

The dress I'm not budging on. That's the one thing I'm having the way I want. However, I haven't decided whether to have my hair or make up done professionally, and I have no idea where to start finding someone I trust for this. Recommendations would be very useful!

We have no idea where to start with entertainment or photographers really, so any recommendations here would again be very useful.

Thereafter, its the little things that will cost extra, like centrepieces, decorations, invitations etc and we'd like to limit the cost for these to around £1,000. We'll be trying to do as much ourselves as possible, and we don't need anything too fancy or posh.

I'll leave it there for now, hope this isn't too long, but really - any recommendations/ideas/suggestions would be most welcome!

floss2

First of all, whereabouts are you, so we can suggest venues?

Have you looked at catering costs to get an idea of those food costs? That equates to between £40-£60 a head, if you are paying that then you may get a venue free.

Also, is it a cultural wish to have money behind the bar? Or because you wish to be generous to your guests?

bubbles0169

floss they said east london M25 area

firemunchkin ive replied to the other thread a little x

Blade26

Hi

We were very much like you wanting to reduce costs but not at the sacrifice of what we see as being our day.

One big way we have reduced costs which may not be ideal for everyone is by hiring a barn on a farm which is unlicensed for civil ceremonies. We have decided that in order for our 'wedding day' to be totally personal to us that we are getting married at the Registry Office on the Friday just me, OH and 2 witnesses and will then have a blessing ceremony at our venue on the Saturday which will be conducted by my twin sister and OH's best friend, which means we can do what we want, say what we want, still have vows and exchange rings but we have already done the legal part and we can do our day our way IYSWIM!

I think some of your costs are massive, I know that weddings can be hideously expensive but you can compromise on price without compromising on style

HTH

Blade26

Firemunchkin

Thanks for the replies guys - Yes, we're looking at the east london/M25 area. We want to go somewhere we actually have a connection, but also somewhere with plenty of hotels etc closeby. We're aware we might have to head out a little bit as we've heard venues can be slightly cheaper out of town, so Hertfordshire would also be ok (I am from there originally).

I know the costs look massive - but they are just what I have gathered from my initial research (over the past few months). So far I have not been able to find a venue which will let us use our own caterers, they all insist on preferred providers, and those caterers charges approx £40-£50 a head. Incidentally, only one of the many many venues I've seen do the sort of food we're after. We don't want banquets or buffets, just massive paella pans or a BBQ.

That's why I've come on here, I simply cannot find a way to reduce these costs. I would LOVE to. We don't want anything too posh or fancy, we want something to reflect US as people and generally we don't go too over the top on anything. We'd like the wedding (us and our guests!) to be as relaxed as possible really.

Does £2k - £3k sound an awful lot for food, and then again for a venue?? What approach should I take in trying to find somewhere that does it cheaper? I'm going to try the village hall approach but then I feel I am quite limited. Any other suggestions?

As for the ceremony, this is the difficult part. Neither of us like registry offices - they're so sterile. We would love to have a nice setting for this, and the main reason we want our guests there is to see the ceremony. We can get together with our friends for a booze up whenever we like, but this is slightly more special than just a party.

As to the free bar: yes, its mainly to be generous to our guests. We have been to the weddings of several of our friends who we will be inviting to our day, and some of them had free bars. We feel we should return the generosity, but also we want people to have a good time, that's the main thing really. Relaxed, no pomp or stiffness, have a laugh, enjoy yourselves. And hopefully a photographer will capture all the good bits.

Another question which crops up is what is polite for the bride and groom to do. I thought we could go on our honeymoon that evening, and leave everyone else to have the fun - I mean, bride and groom aren't meant to get drunk at their own wedding are they?!

RainbowDrops

A few ideas
1. Have the ceremony somewhere else then go for a reception - "wedding" venues do charge more for the convenience of having the ceremony & reception all in one place (I know, that's what I'm doing! )
2. Even if others have had free bars, don't feel obliged to have one too, booze is REALLY expensive.
My sis had a free bar, but I wont be. There will still be post ceremony drinks, wine with the meal & bubbly for the toast, but additional drinks can be bought from the bar. I've always been happy to pay for drinks, plus I also dont end up getting stupidly drunk like I would if there was a free bar.
3. Having a later ceremony means you dont need to provide as much food.

Suits & dresses can be done MUCH cheaper, but it's all according to taste I guess. I'm having a bespoke dress made, but it's by a friend who will only charge for materials, so will cost about £100-£200 tops.

floss2

Firemunchkin wrote: »

.....I know the costs look massive - but they are just what I have gathered from my initial research (over the past few months)....

...That's why I've come on here, I simply cannot find a way to reduce these costs. I would LOVE to. We don't want anything too posh or fancy, we want something to reflect US as people and generally we don't go too over the top on anything. We'd like the wedding (us and our guests!) to be as relaxed as possible really....

....As to the free bar: yes, its mainly to be generous to our guests. We have been to the weddings of several of our friends who we will be inviting to our day, and some of them had free bars. We feel we should return the generosity, but also we want people to have a good time, that's the main thing really. Relaxed, no pomp or stiffness, have a laugh, enjoy yourselves. And hopefully a photographer will capture all the good bits

I'm sorry if this sounds brutal, but can you really afford to be that generous? I would love to be as generous as my best friends who married last year by having unlimited wine with our wedding breakfast, but it would increase our wedding breakfast budget by 20%. You are planning to pay off your debts of £8.5k, and save another £6k - £7k on top of getting a lodger......what happens if your savings plans don't work out? Or you can't get a lodger for the whole time you need one? Or one of you becomes ill & goes onto half pay or even loses their job?

floss2

Firemunchkin wrote: »

...Another question which crops up is what is polite for the bride and groom to do. I thought we could go on our honeymoon that evening, and leave everyone else to have the fun - I mean, bride and groom aren't meant to get drunk at their own wedding are they?!

Why not?! We get the bridal suite & a champagne breakfast with our venue, but there's no reason why we wouldn't stay up & party with our guests.

We are having our honeymoon approx 5 months later, so we can continue to save up. Don't forget that you will have to pay for things like cars, dresses, suits, fees, photographer, entertainment, venue & catering monies out before the event....plus paying for your honeymoon 8-12 weeks beforehand.

Firemunchkin

RainbowDrops wrote: »

A few ideas
1. Have the ceremony somewhere else then go for a reception - "wedding" venues do charge more for the convenience of having the ceremony & reception all in one place (I know, that's what I'm doing! )
2. Even if others have had free bars, don't feel obliged to have one too, booze is REALLY expensive.
My sis had a free bar, but I wont be. There will still be post ceremony drinks, wine with the meal & bubbly for the toast, but additional drinks can be bought from the bar. I've always been happy to pay for drinks, plus I also dont end up getting stupidly drunk like I would if there was a free bar.
3. Having a later ceremony means you dont need to provide as much food.

Suits & dresses can be done MUCH cheaper, but it's all according to taste I guess. I'm having a bespoke dress made, but it's by a friend who will only charge for materials, so will cost about £100-£200 tops.

Thanks for this - the reason we thought having both at the same place might be a good idea is because of travelling for our guests. If we do it in separate places then we thought about hiring an old routemaster bus to ferry everyone from one place to another. We really like that idea!

I suppose we don't need to put £1,000 behind the bar, we could happily half that. The people we're inviting are close friends, and we know they won't be taking the micky, and they're not the sorts to get roaringly drunk and misbehave. We're lucky, they're all pretty respectful people! Still, £500 behind the bar for 70 people is more than enough really isn't it, when you consider we'll have put the champagne up beforehand. Thanks for this one!

Yes, we had already decided to have a mid-afternoon ceremony for that very reason, plus it means more time to get ready in the morning!

Firemunchkin

floss2 wrote: »

Why not?! We get the bridal suite & a champagne breakfast with our venue, but there's no reason why we wouldn't stay up & party with our guests.

We are having our honeymoon approx 5 months later, so we can continue to save up. Don't forget that you will have to pay for things like cars, dresses, suits, fees, photographer, entertainment, venue & catering monies out before the event....plus paying for your honeymoon 8-12 weeks beforehand.

I hadn't thought of that - I suppose I would like to go off on honeymoon almost as soon as we are married but I guess if we are getting closer to the time and we haven't got enough (due to illness or any of those reasons above) then we could hold off on that for a few more months. Certainly would help to have a little leeway. Plus, it would be nice to enjoy the occasion we're paying for!

The thing with our debts is that I earn much more than my partner, and if I tighten my belt straps a lot then I'll be able to pay off my debt within a year. I'm doing ok so far, and then after that I'll be able to save that money again. I should be ok, but I'm aware there might be a few spanners in the works and we might have to be flexible with things. Its the big stuff I want to try and save as much as possible on now.

LEJC

Hi ....You seem to have very clear ideas about what you would like at the wedding which is great but usually with many of the big venue type weddings they do indeed come as a package and usually quite an expensive one so it may be difficult to "moneysave" too much on this....although there is no harm asking if the rates include overnight accomodation for yourself and new husband for example....

I think where you could save money is being organised and picking things up in sales or online....bridesmaids dresses....shoes...or even the invitations...dont forget you will also need rings

Also you need to factor in things like wedding flowers and buttonholes,bridesmaids dresses ushers and best men clothes....
Is you OH going to get use out of a £700 suit?
He may well be able to wear it afterwards but what a lot of people tend to do is hire the mens suits and that may well give you a bit of extra budget to use somewhere else.

Just one other point the money for the car to bring your Gran from wales....is it then doubling as your wedding car?