Starting school/school hours

Zziggi

I'm sure I can't be the only parent who has had these kind of logistical probs, so I'm asking for advice really about how you all get round this issue.

DS starts school next week and his school (schoolY) finishes at 3.05. A bit of background, OH is disabled so taking DS to and from school, dealing with school etc etc all falls to me. I haven't got family or friends that can help out in this area. School know OH is disabled (a bit obvious when they met him). On 2/3 days a week I am not going to be able to pick DS up from school for 3.05. It is physically impossible for me to do this and OH can't do it either. DS currently goes to a childminder who i wanted to pick him up on these days. However she is already commited to picking up 3 kids at 3.05 from a different school (school X) about 1 1/2 miles away. She can't physically be in 2 places at once but is willing to rush from schoolX to schoolY to pick up all the kids. The 3kids at schoolX are aged 2x5ys, 6yrs so not old enough to be asked to wait in the playground for 5 mins at the end of school.Also, un beknown to me, she has been picking up the 6 year old from schoolX all last year, so this is an ongoing commitment. I explained to our school that for "medical reasons" we need a childminder to pick up DS on 2/3 days a week and was there any way they would let him out, quite literally 5 mins early (at 3pm) so that childminder can collect him and rush to SchoolX for the other kids. We explained it was a logistical problem, that we have no-one else to collect him and that as there people with disabilities in the family we need the support of the childminder.

The school told me in no uncertain terms that their school day is from 8.35am until 3.05pm and a child must be present during those times. It is our responsability to insure that. So then i asked if the childminder could be 5-10 mins late at the end of the school day as she would have to pick up the other kids and rush to pick up my DS. Could he stay in the classroom just 5-10mins at the end of the day until the childminder got there (BTW DS has some health probs and is a bit gulible and easily led so i don't want a 5 year old like that wandering in the playground as he would go off with strangers). I was again told that it was my responsability to be there at 3.05pm or get someone who has our permission to collect DS, who could be there at 3.05.

So what do i do?

I can't collect him on 2/3 days, OH can't collect him, childminder can't be there dead-on-time, no relatives can collect him. I've tried to arrange with other childminders to collect him but no-one can do it, i don't know of any other kids at that school so i can't get friends/neighbours to collect him.

What the hell can i do?

Just wondered how other parents get round these picking-up-from-school problems? Is the school being unreasonable? surely i can't be the first parent with these probs?

cheekymole

ASorry to hear your predicament.

Although it is not the school's responsibility, I do think (in these circumstances) that there are being unreasonable.
Things like this have happened at our school and the child stays with the teacher for a few minutes or sits with the secretary until the parent arrives.

Do you have a friend/other parents who wouldn't maybe holding onto your DS until you arrive on these days?

When you say you have spoken to the school, who did you speak to, teacher/head?

Katinkka

You need to speak to the headteacher again. My oldest boy is autistic and due to problems walking him home 'I told' the school that I would be picking him up by car at 3pm (school is out at 3:30) to avoid the human traffic atthe school. I walk him now but while it was a problem the school was accomadating. Its only 5 mins for you. I would go back to them and ask again.

prettypennies

I sympathise completely with you. If you cannot arrange for another parent to collect your child how about writing to the board of governers or LEA to explain your situation and the imporatnce of your child finishing a few minutes earlier. Schools are under a lot of pressure at the momentt to arrange pre-school and after school clubs to help working parents. So. if your child's school does not offer these then I can't see how they can object to your child being collected a few minutes earlier.

I have 7 year old twins who start school at 9 and finish at 3. When they started school I applied for a job at another school that would fit around the school hours. When I went for the job I made it clear that I needed to take my children to and from school and so could not start work before 9.10 or finish after 2.50. the head agreed to this and orginally I just worked 20 hours a week. Within a matters of months my hours were pushed up to 26.

Then just before the end of last tem I was told that the would PREFER it if I worked from 8.45 to 3.15. I explained that this was not possible and the head informed me and another colleague that when she employed us she just assumed we'd make childcare arrangements as she had when she'd returned to work!!!

If I had wanted to arrange childcare I would have gone back to my old job that I did before having the children which paid a damn sight more than I'm on now. (There I've had my rant)

msmicawber

I am sorry that your DS's school is being so unhelpful. Just because the school day finishes at 3.05pm doesn't mean that all children are actually ready to leave at that time - in my experience, they're still messing around trying to find their shoes and get their coats on 5-10 minutes later.

Is there a noticeboard or school newsletter where you could advertise for another parent to meet your son and keep an eye on him for a few minutes until the childminder arrives?

Zziggi

Thanks for your quick replies.

The school doesn't have a breakfast club or an afterschools club. They do run some afterschool sports & hobby clubs but this is not open to reception year kids.

I realised that i was asking the school really to "do me a favour" and to be accommodating but i was not asking on flimsy grounds. I thought that i would be obvious to the school WHY i was asking for them to cut me a bit of slack. They are obviously aware of DS's health probs as i told them for when he starts. They know i have a DD who will be starting with them next september and they know she has similar health probs to DS. OH has health probs that would have been obvious when they saw him at the introductory meeting. I also am registered disabled (hidden disabilities) but I have not mentioned this as it is irrelevant. I just said we needed the childminder to pick DS up for "Medical reasons" and kept it vague as I didn't want to play the "disability card".I would have thought it would have been bleeding obvious given what info they already have about OH, DS and my pre-school DD that we do need the support of the childminder and they wouldn't need it spelling out to them.

I spoke to the reception class teacher who said that it is not normally allowed but that she would ask the Head. She spoke to the Head and he said not under any circumstances.

I would find it perfectly acceptable if they allowed DS to sit outside the secretary's office for 5 mins at the end of school and was collected from there by the childminder. In fact i would find that better as DS wouldn't have to put up with the noise & crowd of the playground & the childminder can park right outside the secretary office window which would mean that the childminder wouldn't have to park, get the 3 other kids out the car and walk all the way round the other side of the building to collect my DS from his classroom. If it was from the secretary's office, she could literally pull up outside and they could let DS walk to the car, not 5 metres away from the door. The childminder wouldn't even have to bother getting the other kids out of the car.

As much as I would find it distasteful to do, if the Head refused to budge then I may have to explain how DS hates crowds and gets upset at the end of school so HAS to leave early. This is actually true but it may have to be emphasised & slightly exagerated to allow DS to leave 5 mins early.

You know I have such a lovely childminder who is willing to go out of her way to accommodate us & help us out by picking DS up from school because she understands how stressful and difficult it is with our family circumstances but yet you then have a Head who clearly has no idea and he is unwilling to move even an inch. Does he think I am asking on a whim? You know, i really want to be a parent who helps out in school and is supportive of the school but before DS even starts they seem to be so uncompromiseing that I am feeling ever more disinclined to be supportive of the school.

prettypennies

If the headteacher is being obstructive don't be afraid to go above his/her head. In my experience when they have had issues with children and indeed parents who clash at home time the school has no problem with allowing problem children to go home a little earlier to make the situation easier on themselves. So in many schools it tends to be if it suits them they can bend the rules.

You have a genuine reason for your child to be collected a little earlier and your child's school should be more understanding. As other posters have said the last ten minutes of the day are given over to getting children ready to go home, handing out letters etc. It would be worth making arrangements to ensure that your child can get ready quickly at the end of the day independently. Simple things such as velcro shoes instead of lace-ups and easy to put on coat, mittens etc.

cheekymole

I would make and appointment to see the head asap and explain the situation again.
If he is unsympathetic, then explain to him about "inclusion" and that if he doesn't budge on the matter that you will go to the chair of governors.

Zziggi

cheekymole wrote:

I would make and appointment to see the head asap and explain the situation again.
If he is unsympathetic, then explain to him about "inclusion" and that if he doesn't budge on the matter that you will go to the chair of governors.

Thanks for this. Just so i know for future reference, in case i ever need to know...... When schools have to be "inclusive" does this ONLY relate to the pupil or does this also extend, to some degree, to the parents of the pupil/pupil's circumstances as well?

I'm wondering about how far "inclusive" goes as i know they sometimes provide translators for parents who don't speak english so this is at least one area where "inclusive" extends to a parent's need as well.

Savvy_Sue

And I have a friend who went up to school early for an end of day assembly, and met a mother who had been TOLD to collect her child BEFORE the start of the assembly because the child was temporarily in a wheelchair and there was no-one who could wheel the child around the outside of the building into the hall (the only disabled access)!

I can understand the school not wanting the child to be collected early on a regular basis: it could be slightly disruptive, the child might miss out on letters being given out, reminders etc etc etc.

And at that age, what are they going to do if there isn't anyone to collect them - we all get delayed sometimes! They are going to send that child to sit outside the office - aren't they?

If at all possible - and I realise not all employers are flexible, and it might not be employment causing these problems - I would try to be there myself for the first week. And see if friendships are made, you spot other parents heading your way etc. Asking if you can put a notice up asking for help is another thing to do.

But if that's completely impossible, then I would see the Head and explain that while you will try to find someone to take responsibility for your son from 3.05 pm, initially he will be collected by the childminder, who will be there as soon as possible, and ask what they will do if someone is NOT there at 3.05 pm. You could also ask the Head if a paragraph could be put in the first newsletter asking for help for you.

Although the Head is coming from a position where staff have a busy day, then other things to do at the end of the day, and the secretary is often a bit hassled at the end of school by parents and others. There might be a worry that they'd agree to this, then if anything happened they'd be liable.

And although in theory the childminder will only be 5-10 minutes late, and it may well take that long for children to find all their stuff, get coats on etc, the same thing may happen at School X, especially with 3 children - and then you're running 20 minutes late by the time you get to School Y.

I suppose there's no chance at this stage of moving DS to School X ...

cheekymole

Zzigi

In our school it certainly extends to all areas including parents and we have just won an award for it