Should I speak to boyfriend's kids about money?

boyang

I gave my boyfriend's daughters £10 to spend on a Father's Day present for him. (Because I am out of the country and therefore unable to take them shopping). They have spent £5 on a present and I don't know where the other half got to. It wasn't spent on cards because I did buy those. I mentioned it to my boyfriend, but I'm not sure if I should do anything else about this. Is it my responsibility to raise it? Do I leave it to him? Do I chalk it up to experience and just not give them money for presents again? I'm not angry or annoyed, I'm just not sure what I should do.

For background, I've been with boyfriend for about 2 and half years, have known the girls for about 18 months and have an amicable relationship with them.

jakem_2

I dont think I would mention it to the B/F, but when you come back mention it to the daughter, and if she used the other £5 for personal use, ie tampons or something, then let it go, but if its something else that you dont think is right, then just be wary of doing it again.

Amanda65

I think it would be depend on what the deal was when you gave them the money.

Did you say "Here's £10, spend it all on a present for your dad" or "Here's £10, buy your dad a present"

If the former, you could jokily ask them where your change is and see what they say, if the latter and they have just managed to be very MSE and get him something that they think he would like for a fiver they could just think it was money they could keep, especially if this is the way they've always been treated by their mum and dad.

How old are they btw ?

boyang

They're 11 and 7.
I can definitely say that their mum does not really provide much in the way of money saving advice! However, their dad does, so that's a fair point.

I can't really remember what I said about the money, think it was along the lines of 'I've left £10 for you to get a father's day present'.

I hope nobody thinks I'm being petty about £5, I'm really not. I guess I just know how I would deal with this if it were my neices, for instance, but I'm still not sure of my ground with the boyfriend's kids!

ailuro2

Have you seen them since?

I'd ask them when I got back where my change was, after giving them a chance to be there without BF present, maybe they didn't want to say here's the change from the Father's day gift in front of your BF to give the surprise away.

If they spent it on sweets/comics, then you've learned your lesson and they can make him a present next year.;)

Dave_liverpool

who did they go shopping with?

I would ask for the change, just stick your hand out and ask with a smile on your face for the change, its no biggy.

Amanda65

At such a young age then I'd be tempted to jokily say to the 11 year old on the quiet "What happened to my change then?" and see what they say - they may have bought additional cards that they chose, wrapping paper / bags, or, if you are away, still have it to give to you next time they see you. And how do you know the present was £5 ????

boyang

They bought the present with my boyfriend (in fact he paid for it and they gave him the money back) and he mentioned it was £5, otherwise I'm not sure it would even have registered with me.

I'm not back for another 7 weeks, so I guess it may be a little late to expect them to remember about change!! (and when I was that age, no chance would any change last for that long!)

whatatwit

They might surprise you and give you the change when they next see you.

Amanda65

boyang wrote: »

I'm not back for another 7 weeks, so I guess it may be a little late to expect them to remember about change!! (and when I was that age, no chance would any change last for that long!)

Then they may still have the change for you, or have bought something else for their dad that he doesn't know about until today. Or they could have just been a thoughtless and spent it on sweets

As it will be such a long time before you get home I wouldn't make an issue about it, but be clearer next time that you would like the change if they don't spend it all.

thorsoak

I would ask them what they got for dad - and did they have enough money for it. If they say yes - and volunteer it cost £5, say "oh good - you will have something left to save up for Dad's birthday then". If they just say yes - ask how much and then ask "are you saving the change for Dad's birthday, or do you want me to keep it for you?"