Finding lost family

WhiteButterfly_2

Hi everyone! I need some advice so any views/help is grately appreciated!
Basically I am contemplating finding my father and his side of the family.He left when i was about 5 or so I have vague memories of him.Firstly my dilema is do I really want to go down that road and actually find him? He left me and my brother with no contact at All, part of me feels angry at him but part of me gets why he left(my mum isn't easy to deal with to put it mildly).If I did find him how do I deal with the hurt I feel?can you get over it?
I've just keep thinking about it.I have no contact with my mum as I said she isn't the easiest to deal with, I don't really speak to much of her side partly due to her and I look at other people that have their parents and family around and I feel Really jealous of them as I've never had that.

Also if I do decide to find him and his family where do even start??? I know his full name and most of the families name, Thats about it I don't even know where he lives or even if he is still alive! Has anyone been through this?

I really don't know what to do!I have so many questions like why hasn't he tried to find me?didn't he ever want me?do I have more family?
I know you guys don't have all the answers but as I said any advice/experience on this I really really would appericate it.

Sorry for the long moan!

property.advert

There is really only one thing to juggle with in your mind. If you leave it too late then the chance will be taken from you. The worst things I regret in life are things which I could perhaps have done something about but didn't and then when I woke up, it was too late. If you do the research and find him, then you still have to make the decision to initiate contact and you could still walk away.

Registrars, ancestry websites, churches, relatives, Salvation Army, the Armed Forces, ask on a genealogy website ?

Kazz81

My other half was reunited with his family through facebook....maybe give that a go while you are waiting for something else to come through.

property.advert

Though Friends Reunited has lost out to Facebook, it is still quite relevant for people who were at school in the UK some years ago. Worth a shot I'd say.

Phudge

Hello WhiteButterfly,

it is quite easy to find family in the UK and there are several ways to do this.

As you know your Father's name that will help a lot. If he has a common name it will be helpful if you know his middle name(s) if he has any.

The first place to try would be 192.com. You can search the electoral roll to the present date. You pay a small fee (£6-95 I think?) to search for the results which will give you a name, the names of any other people in the household, the address and a phone number so long as it is not ex directory.

You can also see whether he has remarried or not by searching Ancestry or similar pay sites. You have to join them but as I am a genealogist I have all the subscriptions so would be very happy to look something up for you in confidence. If you would like me to, please send me a pm

Your search will be an emotional rollercoaster but either way you will hopefully get answers to your questions so I wish you all the best in your search

Mojisola

Most libraries have a subscription to Ancestry.co.uk so you can use their computers if you don't want to pass on details, although an experienced researcher will find any info faster.

pixie76

I actually looked for my Father and his side of the family quite a few years back. My OH managed to trace my Aunt who lives in America through phone directorys online.I phoned her up and she was over the moon that I had got in touch as there had been no contact since I was a baby. I now visit my family in the States every year and am in touch with a cousin in this country who I meet up with regularly .It is the best thing I have ever done , I feel lucky to have found all these relatives and to have them in my life. However I am not in touch with my Father, he has remarried and has not told his wife about me , he does not feel ready to meet me .I am focusing on the family I have in my life and not him. I wish you well and keep us updated.

barbarawright

These two leaflets - one from the British Library and one from the National Archives have good tips on tracing missing relatives

http://www.bl.uk/reshelp/findhelprestype/offpubs/electreg/traceliv/tracinglivingpeople.pdf


http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/catalogue/rdleaflet.asp?sLeafletID=418&j=1

WhiteButterfly_2

Thank you so much everyone for your replies it really has helped.I think I have made my mind up I may aswell try as property.advert said I mayregret it if I don't! I think I will try the obvious of searching facebook, I guess the likelyhood one of my fathers side of the family if not him will be on there and hopefully point me in the right direction.If that fails then I will go down the route of checking the electrol roll and may take up your very king offer phudge!

I am still nervous of finding him,obviously I would love a happy reunion but I need to be realistic too after Reading Pixie76 reply he may have a new life/family who does know about me.

I guess there's only one way to find all this out tho