Divorce! on line or a solicitor

tech2_2

We have unfortunatly grown appart! and the wife is going to leave with the 2 kids! One is mine and the other from her formaer marriage!

Our child is in Infant school and I have taken her to school etc for the last 6 months. All is quite ammicable and I am keeping the house that is allagreed and buying her out, this is to be drawn up by a solicitor very soon.

Who should divorce who? me the male wants to do it my self for the petition at least and then use a solicitor for the rest of the fiance's and child bit. I need to this to be done to ring fence a potential cash winfall due in the new year ( I think the tech term is RING FENCE) so if the divorce has been served this protects me and stops her getting her hands on it?

The trouble is she has a very good GOV pension scheme and a free meeting with a solicitor has made it quite clear that even though it is her pension she (we) have been paying into this since we first got together and will be worth a considerabke sum!

If I divorce her DIY will this put me in a risky postition lossing any claim to this pension and how does it go about access to the little one?

Hope someone can help me. We have no debt so we are very fortunate as we down sized when houses where going for a lot of profit and paid it all off but we have very little in savings either!!

Thanks

McKneff

So is she your wife or fiance?

Am I right in thinking that you want part of her pension but you dont want her (or your child) to benefit from your potential windfall.

Careful, matey or it wont be amicable for long.......................

neneromanova

So you get the house, get a windfall in the new year AND you want half of her pension? While she takes the kids. Wow....You sound like a lovely guy. If she sees a solicitor you might find that SHE is able to keep the house until your child reaches 18.

The windfall I can understand about. You will need something called a clean break which means she can't get anything like inheritance or if you win the lottery. I would go see a solicitor for a 30 min free Q&A session and see what they say.

scottishchick27

I thought you couldn't do a quickie divorce online if kids were involved, may be wrong though. You sound a real catch though OP :cool:

McKneff

See what i mean, if shes got any sense she will be seeing a solicitor and staying in the house till your child is 18 all legally and above board, and slam you for maintanence.
boy oh boy- are you in for a shock if you keep up these tactics.

It might be cheaper if you try for a reconciiaiton ...............

mookiandco

merely serving the divorce petition on her does not protect your windfall. Until the consent order is sealed and Decree Absloute granted, all money present and future is up for grabs. It doesnt matter that it wasnt obtained when you were together it would have to be declared in your financial statement (Form E ) and this may affect what you get from the 'matrimonial pot' at the very least.

If you are going to see a Solicitor, do it from the start. Solicitors really dont like doing piece meal divorces because quite often a layperson can mess up the divorce petition which causes all sorts of problems later on. It could save you money down the line because is you mess up the divorce peition its going to cost you more (in time and money)for your solicitor to undo. Also you have to file a statement of arrangents with the divorce petition which states what the arrangements are for the children (e.g. contact). If you want advice on the children aspect you might as well see a solicitor at the start and get them to draft the divorce petition too. Most solicitors charge a fixed fee which would include both (but finances would be charged seperately).

Without more info, its difficult to say whether you getting the house is reasonable. Others I think are judging rather harshly. You are buying her out not chucking her out. Presumably she wants this too. Some people might not want to stay in the home and can do alot more with the cash.

As to the pension, this is quite a complicated area when sorting out the finances. She will need to provide the Cash equivalent transfer value in any financial statement but of course if you are going for full disclosure then you will need to disclose your future windfall. I suggest you see a solicitor and they will be able to advise you properly.

Becles

scottishchick27 wrote: »

I thought you couldn't do a quickie divorce online if kids were involved, may be wrong though. You sound a real catch though OP :cool:

You can - I did one by getting the forms from court and doing it all myself. It only took a few months.

OP - you need grounds for the divorce that your wife will agree to such as adultary etc. You haven't mentioned a reason and I'm not prying, but I just thought I would mention it so you can read up on that.

The actual divorce only severs the relationship side and doesn't take into account finances. You need a Financial Consent (Clean Break) order to deal with the finances.

As it's complicated with a few different assets in the pot, you'd be best off getting legal advice on how to deal with it.

property.advert

You'll need a decent lawyer. Interview a few as you would tradesmen and never go with one you are not happy with.

However, do not do everything through lawyers. They will just rack up bills and you will both suffer. You two need to sit down and get a list of things which you agree on, those which you do not agree on and which things are up for discussion. Then go away for a while and come back to see if you cannot do some more negotiation. Lawyers will just screw this whole process up and essentially, you want to strike the deal (if you are mathematically competent enough to do so - and you can be bothered to do the work to gain knowledge) and simply get the lawyers to draw up the settlement paperwork.

JaneRN

You can do your own divorce even with children, if you are both in agreement. I done my divorce and on my petition stated that there was no animosity and my son and my ex husband would continue to see each other as they wished. I asked for no money or maintenance from my ex, so it was straight forward. I would have thought that you would have no claim on the pension once you are divorced, my ex certainly has no claim on my NHS pension as it come out of my wages not his. I must say I'm perplexed why you would prevent your ex having any claim on you windfall but you still want to claim part of her pension.

mackemdave

When compiling the details for the consent order one of the questions on the form asks if you know of any changes to your finacial standing in the future....as you obviously know about this wind fall you will have to disclose it...the judge will be the person to decide if it is "ring fenced" not you.....If there are issues about re housing both parties then this windfall may be taken into consideration as being able to assist you and there fore your wife would get a bigger share of the other assets....Also you will not get a Clean Break if there are children involved .....Sounds like you want out of the marriage so that you alone benefits from the windfall....

Becles

JaneRN wrote: »

I would have thought that you would have no claim on the pension once you are divorced, my ex certainly has no claim on my NHS pension as it come out of my wages not his.

Be careful. The divorce only ends the relationship and you need the Clean Break order to break the financial relationship. It doesn't matter who paid into the asset, such as your pension, it all becomes a joint asset as part of the marriage.

If you don't have a clean break order, your ex can try to claim on the pension at any time in the future, or on any other assets you may gain such as an increase in house equity, inheritance, lottery win etc.

mackemdave wrote: »

Also you will not get a Clean Break if there are children involved .....

Yes you can. I have one and there were children involved.