PLEASE help me, loads of debt, sick with worry.

loupoppins

OK, am posting this cause am really just at my wits end.
Very long story, but I'll try to be brief.

Basically myself and my husband are in a LOTof debt:(. They are all joint debts. Some of the debt dates back to my student days (13 odd yrs ago!) and some is due to being VERY stupid with money when we were younger :doh:. A BIG chunk of it though is down to a disasterous attempt to move house a few years ago, when we relocated as DH got a promotion in another part of the country. Our house sale fell through 4 times:mad: (through no fault of ours) and we ran up massive debts having to pay rent and mortgage and all other moving costs for a long time. In the end we had to give up,and I moved back up North to the house we owned and dh followed once he got another job.

Also we have 6 kids, and for a while now I havent worked because the cost of childcare would make us significantly worse off...so we are on one salary.

Just over 3 years ago we contacted the ccc and went on a DMP. We have stuck to this religiously and have budgeted down to the last penny, and made all our agreed payments etc...
we have 5 debts in total, 2 loans and 3 credit cards.
1 credit card company has always accepted our offers. 2 other companies have now taken CCJs against us, and we continue to pay the figures set by the court. Northern Rock added a charging order to their CCJ
Now LLoyds, who we have a loan with and a credit card are saying they will no longer accept what we have been paying and are going to pursue a CCJ
I am so worried about what will happen with this, because if they set the ammount much higher we simply wont be able to afford to feed and cloth the children(they all wear hand-me-downs/charity shop stuff as it is!)
And of course we are no doubt about to loose our Child Tax credit which is vital to us!
I have an interview for a job on Weds and pray I'll get it,because as our second youngest starts school in Sept we'll finally be able to afford for me to work. Even so it is only part time and will only help a bit.(still have childcare to pay for our 2 year old)

My main worry is that we will loose the house.I am so desperate to avoid that. The children had so much moving around when we tried to move house before I really want to keep a stable family home. In truth I dont think there is even much equity in the house at all anyway!
We really live extremely frugally. Me and dh NEVER buy clothes,make up,etc...I grow my own veg and cook everything from scratch. We have old clapped out appliances that we cant afford to replace. We cant afford holidays or days out or meals out or anything really. We can barely afford for the kids to do clubs etc and certainly cant afford any extra lessons for them.I know it is all our own stupid fault but I am so sick of the kids having to live like this.
I feel sick every day with the worry of it. I cant sleep,I'm depressed and sometimes I've just had enough of it all.
I cant even see an end to it.I feel as if I have totally ruined my life, but worse than that I've ruined my children's lives too.:(:cry:
DH and I cant talk about it cause we just end up arguing. The stress of it all is ruining our marriage.

We did consider an IVA, but are waiting to see if I get this job before we decide. Not sure that will be accepted though, especially since one of our lenders is Northern Rock.Anyone have any views or advice about this?

Anyone got any suggestions.

Feel free to tell me its all my fault and I've been stupid, cause I already know that and you couldn't make me feel any worse than I already do any way.:(:(:(

ladybez

Welcome to the Boards, you have done the first, hardest thing by admitting there is a problem but you will get lots of help and advice on here. It would be helpful if you could post up a Statement of Affairs, based on your current position (it can always be amended as your circumstances change) (Sticky on first page) and the clever peeps on here may spot something you haven't to help you make ends meet. It may also be worth contacting one of the debt charities, such as CCS, CAP etc. for advice As Martin says, there is no problem which cannot be solved. And keep posting!!

clang_uk

Get an SOA up http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalchelp.html and then post it here. We can then help you try and save costs! 6 Kids wow!! This may be hard but you've done the best thing and admit you have debt. Everyone will try and help where possible.

Good luck and keep posting!

robsmum_2

Hi Loupoppins,

Didn't want to read and run, can't give you any real advice but others will be along soon.

Did notice your DMP is with CCCS - contact them first and foremost and discuss the situation with them. I find them wonderful.
It may also be worth posting a SOA on here and then people may be able to help identify anything you can cut down.

Don't despair - you are not alone. I feel like you quite a bit of the time and have much smaller debts and no children to support!

SouthCoast

My main worry is that we will loose the house.

Facing the prospect of repossession can be frightening, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone. There is a lot of help available from government, from lenders and from advice agencies. The information here will give you the tools you need to prevent your home being repossessed. You'll also find stories from some of the 330,000 homeowners who have already received help and advice.

http://mortgagehelp.direct.gov.uk/default.aspx

jwil

Hi Lou, sorry to hear about things. No one is going to criticise you for how you got into debt, loads of people are the same! Mine is a lot of just unnecessary spending, I haven't had any life crises or emergencies.

If you can post up your SOA it will help people to give you advice. Have you spoken to whoever set up your DMP? Perhaps try one of the other charities listed on here. It seems awful that they suddenly won't accept your payments.

I don't know much about it, but surely if you get a CCJ the court won't make you pay any more than you can afford?

Good luck with it, there will be a solution.

BTW, I'm sure you haven't ruined your childrens lives, they have you and their Dad. Yes, things have been tough, but you have been there for them. Good luck for the job interview on Wednesday.

Best of luck with things

loupoppins

Thanks both.
We are on a Debt Management Plan with the Consumer Credit Council. Have been for 3 years. We have very precise budget info which we regularly sumbit to them.
Will try and find copy and post here. Really there is just no where else left to cut corners! Most our money goes on bills, mortgage, Debt repayments.Then food,petrol. I spend about £100 a week on food and that is to feed 8 people and includes nappies,toiletries cleaning stuff.I do continually try and cut this. I go shopping late to get reduced stuff. I make a chicken last 3 meals,bulk food out with lentils etc...grow my own veg, bake my own bread and cakes whenI can)
After those expenses there is a bit for dc clubs(drama for dd1,scouts for ds1 and cubs for dd2) then after that what is left(hardly anything...will check figure) is put aside for clothes (can you imagine the cost of 6 pairs of school shoes LOL) although as I said, apart from shoes I hardly ever buy them new clothes,for car tax etc,and desperately try and squirrel a bit away for Christams, but always end up spending that:(
We NEVER buy food out. Have absolutely non unnecessary contracts/services.Freeview for tv thats it. cheap crappy PAYG mobiles that we rarely use (maybe about £2 a month LOL) dont buy make up, shoes,clothes etc for our selves.Havent been able to afford a holiday for years.
DH does extra teaching in the evenings to help...but it isnt regular. I do Dooyoo, surveys etc...but only adds a bit...

Trouble is, on the DMP our debts havent reduced at all. We are still acruing interest. Until now DH has done most of the talking with the CCCS, but I'm not sure how helpful they've been tbh. I feel like we are in as much mess now as 3 years ago, with no light at the end of the tunnel:(

loupoppins

X posts...thanks for all replies

loupoppins

OK...figures...deep breath!

Income
DH pay £2763
Child benefit £300
Child tax credit £250

Outgoings
Mortgage £1000
Debt Management Plan payments £333
County Court Payment(another debt) £131
Gas & Electricity £120
Phone £39 (damned BT..but hopefully changing this month grrr)
Broadband £9 (hopefully merging with phone to give joint total of £21 including all calls)
Water £55
Council tax £145
Car insurance-me £31
DH £41
House insurance £22
Life assurance £24
Pet(dog) insurance £11
Homeserve central heating cover £15
Mobile broadband £30 (yes I know this is going as soon as contract up...only have it cause we didnt used to be able to get broadband where we live!)
Petrol £250
Oldest son bus fare/school travel £50
Car maintainance/tax/MOT etc £80
Clothes/shoes kids £70 (saved aside for shoes,uniforms etc when needed )
Groceries/toiletries/cleaning £500
Dog food £15
DC clubs £100
TV licence £12

difference £240ish which is used for things like school trips, when kids need new stationary for school, bday presents etc...

suppose I just need to try harder....LOL doesnt look so bad on paper...just seems so hard laways having to tell kids we cant afford whatever it is they want ....:(

Would really like some way for there to be light at the end of the tunnel though ....otherwise we'll be repaying these debts forever....spose I'll just have to live witht that...

Any views on an IVA??? At least that would be fixed term and we wouldnt be heaping on more interest....

MS_Kitten

I dont have the answers but i do know that your in the right place. Its amazing what these people can do. Just follow their advice and things will get better xxxx

Happytogetdebtfree

Hi and welcome to the boards i dont know much about iva's but theres a snippet at top that explains them .... i can see your frustration well done for posting and keep the faith, can oldest son get a paper round and pay for his own transport ?? i dont know what really to suggest hopefully others will be along soon to guide x