Is a DMP the right thing for me?

scaredwitless_3

Hello all. Over the last few weeks I have been reading many threads and been trying to pluck up the courage to post one of my own. Am married with 2 girls, 7 & 4. We have unsecured debts of £54500- OH thinks they about £20k. I 'look after' all the money. He freely admits he wouldn't know where to start & doesn't understand much about it all. Will go ballistic if he knew how bad it is. We have a joint O/D of around £3000, debts in my name £38390, O/H £12660.

SOA:

My salary £577
OH wages £1321 (this is an average - works on a farm so basic winter wage of £220 pw rest made up of overtime during harvest)
Child benefit £116
Tax Credits £41 ( recently reduced from £360 as child care costs ceased but have lodghed an appeal as think/hope they've made a mistake)

TOTAL £2055 (£2300 if tax credits come through!)

Expenses - ready for this?

Council tax £110
Contents ins £10
Electric £27
Oil £44
Home phone £43 (BT line rental, Talk Talk for calls)
TV licence £11
Road Tax £40
Vehicle Ins £45 (we have 2 vehicles - a battered van & a car - live in middle of nowhere 1 1/2 miles from nearest village)
Life ins £9
Groceries £300 - includes food & cleaning stuff etc. This is what i want to stick to but regularly go over.
Petrol/Diesel £200 :eek:
Mobiles £65 - me £20 OH £45 - this is contracted amount OH regularly goes over - £200 this month:eek: :eek:
Xmas £50 - Xmas club
Birthdays £20
Hols £30
Clothes £20 - for all of us
Trips/ outings/meals out £50

Marbles credit card £250 £12000 5.9% to Jan
Egg card £60 £2615 0% to Jan
Sainsbury card £20 £740 5.94% lifetime
Barclaycard £40 £1800 14%
Egg loan (car) £168 £8245 6.7% finish may 2011
Northern Rock £298 £24000 7.9% finish april 2016
Next catalogue £20 £180
Simply be £10 £70
Littlewoods £50 £400

TOTAL £2190

Overdraft £2340 £3500

Also owe my mum £950 & my girls £1500

This SOA is as much a budget (hopefully) as a SOA. Worries me that theres nothing there re car maintenance/decorating etc.

Feel angry/guilty/so upset/a failure/an idiot. To make things even worse we have never paid rent or had a mortgage. House comes with husband's job.

I hate myself when I think how things should have been. I have let my family down.

Even worse we have been offerred our house to buy - no way we can afford it. Have told OH who not really accepted it. May have to move into a council house but will mean paying rent.

Have read a few details of DMPs and wondered if anyone knows if I can enter into one re my debts without OH knowing?

Have been in touch with CCCS by email but they need me to ring them - not sure if I can do that just yet without getting hysterical.

Wants to be able to get through my days and nights without thinking about money ALL the time.

Thankyou for reading.

shayshay

Ok, there will be the replies which suggest ways of cutting down expenditure etc including getting your OHs phone bill down.

As for the CCCS, dont be so hard on yourself, we all make mistakes hence we are here and you have the done what most would consider the hardest part by doing your SOA so speaking to them on the phone may well be hard but they are trained and I am sure they have had the odd hundred or so people who cry etc so you are not alone. Well done for taking this step and getting on the road to recovery moneywise.

The_Tax_Mans_Cash_Machine

Do you mind if I ask where the money has been spent?

You don't pay rent/mortgage & live "in the middle of nowhere" - is there a problem like gambling, etc?

lynzpower

I think the issue here is, not whether your OH will know ( I dont think theres any way you will be able to hide this info) but whether in fact you guys will be able to stick to the Plan.

there are lots of cutbacks to be made here, and personally, I think thats the place to start.

Are you paying the min payments, is this something you are managing to do at the moment?

scaredwitless_3

Thanks for replying so quickly.

No - no gambling problems. No one major thing really just an accumulation of spending over the last 10 or more years & that makes it all the more painful. I have a weight problem & self esteem problem & suppose have used buying things like clothes, food, theatre trips etc as a means of comfort. Not looking to use that as an excuse but there isn't really one major thing. I suppose I've not liked to say no to either myself or my family. Please don't think its gone on holidays etc - we've been on 2 in the last 10 years. Am I in denial? - maybe - but I do know that this has to end here and I really want to get out of this.

msmicawber

Well done for posting your SOA - it's an excellent first step. If you don't mind, I'll set out my thoughts:

I assume that your home is tied to your OH's work, since you haven't included rent - ?

Your phone expenses are very large - what do you get for £43pm? Even if it includes internet access as well as line rental and calls, you could get that down considerably (I pay about £25 a month for line rental, calls and broadband). See the Phones board for cheaper suppliers and access codes.

You really have to do something about your mobile phone bills - why does your OH rack up such massive bills?

As for your food & household shopping, please have a look at the Moneysaving Old Style board for tips, but I'd recommend that you start planning your meals for the week, looking for cheap ways to shop to keep in budget, and keeping a daily spending diary to see where your money is going. All these things should keep you in budget, you can then look at ways of reducing your budget.

Your petrol/diesel bill is also very large. I realise that you live in quite a remote place, but do you make unnecessary trips rather than combining e.g. shopping with work or a trip to the doctor?

You've made a good start, you just now need to question all your expenditure to see where you can reduce it so that you will know how much you can throw at your debts.

The_Tax_Mans_Cash_Machine

scaredwitless wrote:

Thanks for replying so quickly.

No - no gambling problems. No one major thing really just an accumulation of spending over the last 10 or more years & that makes it all the more painful. I have a weight problem & self esteem problem & suppose have used buying things like clothes, food, theatre trips etc as a means of comfort. Not looking to use that as an excuse but there isn't really one major thing. I suppose I've not liked to say no to either myself or my family. Please don't think its gone on holidays etc - we've been on 2 in the last 10 years. Am I in denial? - maybe - but I do know that this has to end here and I really want to get out of this.

Hello,
I was just curious because obviously if it was online gambling, etc, then that would have needed to be tackled first. I think perhaps that you're going to have to tell your OH - It'll be almost impossible to handle all of this yourself, particularly as everyone expects a standard of living that they've become used to, & I imagine he'll be far more upset if everything comes crashing down around him & he had no idea.

Perhaps if you don't own your house bankruptcy might be a better option, although I think it's better to avoid it if you can - just my personal feeling.

Good luck.

carriel_2

I'm not great on the actual financial advise, but wanted to give you a virtual hug, I've had major self esteme issues, weight issues & a really bad period of depression & a lot of our debt I think came from that period, I would buy really expensive luxury food & drink, clothes, stuff for my hobbies, anything to make a dark day a bit brighter, so I know where you are coming from.

I e-mailed CCCS last week & they asked me to phone them back, I was nervous, but I did it & they are so friendly & helpful.

Taking control of our finances has given my confidence a huge boost, I'm in control now & its a great feeling.

Once you have a DMP in place, you will have sucha huge weight lifted off your shoulders.

lynzpower

OK from a cutback point of view lets see

Council tax £110
Contents ins £10
Electric £27
Oil £44
Home phone £43 (BT line rental, Talk Talk for calls)
TV licence £11
Road Tax £40
Vehicle Ins £45 (we have 2 vehicles - a battered van & a car - live in middle of nowhere 1 1/2 miles from nearest village)
Life ins £9 ( why do you need life insurance if you are not got a mortgage?)
Groceries £300 - includes food & cleaning stuff etc. This is what i want to stick to but regularly go over. ( WAY too high, i reckon with some planning you could save 150 a month here)
Petrol/Diesel £200 ( this is high, must you do all these journeys?)
Mobiles £65 - me £20 OH £45 - this is contracted amount OH regularly goes over - £200 this month ( this has to stop- end of- go PAYG for £20 between you )
Xmas £50 - Xmas club (so you have 600 for Xmas- seems excessive)
Birthdays £20
Hols £30 ( why are you saving for hols if you havent had one for such a while)
Clothes £20 - for all of us
Trips/ outings/meals out £50 ( this can stop)

SO with my savings theres at least 300 per month you can save from there.

Marbles credit card £250 £12000 5.9% to Jan
Egg card £60 £2615 0% to Jan
Sainsbury card £20 £740 5.94% lifetime
Barclaycard £40 £1800 14%
Egg loan (car) £168 £8245 6.7% finish may 2011
Northern Rock £298 £24000 7.9% finish april 2016
Next catalogue £20 £180
Simply be £10 £70
Littlewoods £50 £400

this 300pcm that Ive found will clear simply be and next completely, with a little to give to a high interest card. Once next & simply be are cleared this releases an extra 30per month ( meaning you have now 330 a month extra to clear debts. the next month you can get shot of littlewoods, meaning that 330 a month, turns into 380 a month. that 380 a month extra can be snowballed elsewhere. And so forth.

As you have so much excess money ( i know it doesnt feel like it) i dont think bankrupcy is really the best plan as yet.

What have you got to sell? Clothes? Cds? Anytihng thats not nailed down is money to pay back your debts.

All the best

scaredwitless_3

Thanks carriel - glad to know I'm not the only one. Will get in touch with CCCS when kids not about. I have to.

Lynzpower - thanks lynz - have taken a quick look at the 'snowball' way of paying off debts. It seems to be the way to go. You're right thise cut backs have to be made. I have to stop fooling myself.

lynzpower

good luck , honestly, it might feel pretty pants now, but in a few weeks, you will wonder what you ever spent all that money on