Hello from newbie !..bit of a moan sorry!

Always-a-rain-cloud-above

Hi there everyone!

I'm Laura, 29 married with 2 children. Here is my situation....I've had debts for a number of years but they were under control, however when I met my husband I didnt realise he had the amount of debt he had and now in total we're over £25k joint debt! We are with William Goldberg, a debt management company and started by paying 365 a month 2 years ago but due to my husband being made redundant and having been out of work for 6 months ( now self employed) we are severly behind with even debt management! I only pay them £25 a week now when I can...We still have at least 8 years left paying on the programme too! I feel I am increasingly becoming isolated as I have no car, no job or even clothes..it may sound pathetic but I even buy and sell on ebay just to clothe my boys but I'm running out of stuff to sell! My 2 year old son used to go to playgroup but I pulled him out as even that became too much at £6 a week. I have since had a letter from them asking for £200 for the full term despite him not attending any one session this term..more worry but cannot pay this right now:(. We have had Gas and electric bills amounting to over £900 and have been told we have to go on a prepayment meter...it's being out in next week and they will take £10 a week off each for the debt. /we are in a privately rented house and were recieving housing benefit (reluctantly ) whilst my husband was unemployed but now that will stop...it just feels like a constant black cloud over everything! I even have to stop my son attending parties as we cant afford to buy a present! I just feel like this is all ruining my life, I know it is partially self-inflicted but has anyone experienced anyting like this? please help I just feel like I have nothing (apart form my two gorgeous boys) but I cant even provide for them Anyone?

Thanks for listening/reading...if you got this far!

Laurax

duffydion

Hi
I can sort of understand your predicament.
I am a single parent of one, and I got myself into some pretty deep debt.
The main thing I can possibly advise you to do is go to your nearest Citizens Advice Bureau. Mine were so helpful. If your individual debts are below £15,000 you could possibly try applying for a Debt Relief Order (DRO) which your CAB will know about (they were the ones who told me about it!). It does cost to apply, but I paid £90 and had near £4,000 of debt sorted out.
It will effect your credit rating pretty badly for 3-5 years (if I remember rightly) but, if like me, you are not planning on applying for anymore credit, moving etc then it will help you out alot!!

In regards to the playgroup, see if you can either have a sit down talk with the manager. I know its embarrassing, but if you explain your difficulties to them, they should be able to help you out or at least write it off.

In regards to you gas & electric bills, there are companies that can help you out with payments if you are on benefits. Some fuel companies actually have their own charities that help out, or there are independent ones who will help out as much as they can. You should be able to find these out from your Citizens Advice as well. They might even be able to give you the forms.

I know its embarrassing to have to ask these people for help (I know from experience. I Worked and paid into the system for 10 years, then when I need help now I have to jump through hoops!), but you have paid you way, you deserve some help!! In the long run it's helping out your children, think of it that way, it helps with the embarrassment (well it did for me!!)

Hope you get some luck from CAB.

clang_uk

Hi - well done for posting, this is a great first step. The next step is to post an SOA (I'm sure someone will post a link on my behalf). Whilst everything seems doom and gloom, you have to keep looking on the bright side. Your partner is now working, which means an income into the house, as he is self employed he can up his hours or charge more etc. This may take a while to happen. You haven't said if you work? If not is there any possibility of you working part-time as you have young children, or maybe even at the local school?

With reference to the demand for money from the pre-school, call them and tell them that you won't be paying as your son hasn't attended this term. It may just be an oversight at their end.

It's probably for the best to be put on a pre-payment meter. I was on one at a place I rented, and became an eco-warrior for turning off plugs - you really do see how much more you save (not spend!) If the elec company are happy for you to pay £10 then I would take them up on that offer, as many ask for a lot more!!

Keep smiling and you will receive a lot of advice from this group!!

Bunnyinthelights

Get rid of a paying DMP. Call CCCS or PayPlan. NOW.

ANewEra

Are William Goldberg one of those DMC's that charge you a fee for arranging the DMP through them?
It's always advised to go through one of the free debt charities ie CCCS who do not charge anything.
First port of call should be one of the free debt charities anyway, national debt line, CCCS, CAB etc all links are on the top of these pages, also please take the time to fill in a SOA - statement of affairs, as many people on here are or have been in thesame position as yourselves and can give you great advice.
Also, don't worry yourself too greatly, a debt is manageable, you just need to find the right way for you, to manage it. You can only pay what you can afford and that includes allowing yoursleves and the children basic living costs.
You are in the right place to help you sort this out though. Best of luck.

ANewEra

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

dancingfairy

The whole point of a dmp (debt management plan) is that what's spare after you have fed and clothed yourselves and provided a roof over your head goes to the creditors - if your income goes down - so does the amount your creditors get. You should not be paying more than you can afford (which is obviously the case at the moment).
Get yourself on a free programme (the money you are paying to fund the wage of the people you are with could be going towards you debts!!).
df

Always-a-rain-cloud-above

Thank you so much to all of the lovely people who have replied already, you are all so nice (brought a tear to my eye!) Excuse the ignorance but what is an SOA? Also in answer to your questions, no I don't work (but would be more than willing to work!) I am currently studying 2 Open University courses as it was free to register as hubby was out of work, Im at home with our 2 yr old and I thought it might be good for my future career! I started my nurse training before I had my 2 year old and never went back to it but plan to next year! I'd love a job to get me out of the house and earning money but I have a few problems at present even though my husband is self employed he hasnt brought in a wage at all (only just set up a lettings company as a partner with an estate agent 3 weeks ago) hopefully this will change as the company becomes established but as it stands all benefits we got have been put on hold...we may be able to get housing benefit and other benefits but we're working through the paperwork still! Anyway, if I work I understand I have to pay childcare at £35 a day and also the issue of no car (hubby has one but uses for work). I also didnt mention that my older son who is 8 has aspergers syndrome and can have meltdowns at the slightest change, so I do worry about a childminder for him after school. We have been lucky enough to get dla for him which although feels wrong as he is not directly getting the money...it is bridging the gap in the rent (housing benefit only paid for 2 bed even though we're in 3 bed as they say boys could share...but we'd rented here before my hubby lost his job!) I do try and get him something each month otherwise I feel like I am taking from him bad mother! Thanks again you are all wonderful xxx

Always-a-rain-cloud-above

Oh just seen 2 new replies, thank you I will reply properly later as have to walk to collect my son form school, thank you for reading my moany thread though xxx can't believe how many caring lovely people are on here thank you! xxx

dancingfairy

An SOA is a statement of affairs - it basically list everything you pay out for all, all your debts and all your income, basically it gives a snapshot of your finances. Often people are paying way over the odds for things like gas/electric or insurances or need reminding gently that SKY/Virgin are not essential and that they have more important things to worry about. Also when you speak to a free debt counsellor they will want to run through your situation with you and if you've got all the figures ready it will make life so much easier.
df

clang_uk

Trust me - this isn't a moan!!!