JSA - Leaving job due to childcare issues - Will I be able to claim?

Debicj

I will shortly be leaving a part time job (2 days per week) that I have been in for 3 years. In many ways it's my ideal job and I'd like to carry on, but unfortunately it involves working regular weekends and bank holidays.

Due to family problems (which I won't go into in detail) I now have a problem with finding somebody to look after my 12 year old son when I am working at the weekend. I am married, but my husband is not my son's father and he refuses to look after him as they don't get on and he is usually out at weekends anyway. Childcare is non existant at the weekend and definately doesn't cover bank holidays such as Easter, Xmas etc. I have been leaving my son at home alone but it really isn't working out and I can imagine a serious problem occuring one day if I carry on doing this.

I have been applying for jobs and have had a couple of interviews but didn't get the jobs. I am still looking for work that is during the week, when my son is in school. If I can't find anything suitable by the New Year, I intend to start my own business which I have done in the past. However, I really would prefer the security of working for an employer if possible so I don't want to do this straight away.

Would I be able to claim contributions based JSA? I have heard all sorts such as 'if you pack a job in you can't claim', etc. but I really think that my reasons are valid as I can't leave my son on his own any more as I feel it is too risky.

nearlyrich

I understand your reasons but you have to be available for work to claim JSA and you can't pick and choose when to be available. Can you not sort out your hubby and son and get them both to realise that if you are not working because they can't get on together the family income will drop. Personally I don't think a 12 year old needs constant supervison especially if they are sensible and it seems a shame to give up a job that you love.

myothercarisaferrari

I'd personally tell the both to grow up and get on with each other x

karenx

Have you also stoppped to look at the whole situation at home and wondered if you want to be part of all this seeing as your husband and son dont get on. I certainly wouldnt.
JSA may or may not see that as a reasonable excuse. It could be different if you were a single parent as its more understandable not having childcare. But once they know you have a husband who doesnt work weekends they will wonder why he cant take him.

Debicj

Thanks for your quick replies.

My son is not my husband's responsibility and I can't force him to look after him. He has other things on at weekends so he's not always around anyway. It's not as simple as telling them to get on with each other - I only wish it was, but there are various problems that I don't wish to go into on here.

My son has behaviour problems and is far from what you might call 'sensible' being very immature for his age. My worry is that other kids will be wrecking my home while I'm out and that he will end up in trouble or seriously injured!

I would be available for work Monday to Friday 8.30am - 5pm, just not at weekends and on Bank hols etc. These are considered 'normal' working hours for most people, especially in office work, which is my preferred type of work so it seems unfair to me that I would be classed as being 'unavailable'. Surely not everyone who is claiming JSA is available 24/7! That would be impossible for anyone with a family.

Debicj

karenx wrote: »

Have you also stoppped to look at the whole situation at home and wondered if you want to be part of all this seeing as your husband and son dont get on. I certainly wouldnt.
JSA may or may not see that as a reasonable excuse. It could be different if you were a single parent as its more understandable not having childcare. But once they know you have a husband who doesnt work weekends they will wonder why he cant take him.

I was a single parent for a few years and believe me, I often think it was easier. However, I don't want to give up my marriage for the sake of a job because on the whole we have a good life.

However, just because I have a husband it doesn't make him a replacement father. We agreed on this before we married. My son is my responsibility and I cannot and do not want to force my husband into looking after him when he is not willing to do this as it would cause more problems. Even if I did, he wouldn't be able to look after him every time I was working as he isn't here a lot of weekends so I'd still have a problem. My son has his own father, who unfortunately works shifts, so won't/can't help out.

It looks like I will just have to fill the forms in and wait to see what happens.

AnxiousMum

You will likely be sanctioned as you would be resigning your position. But do put your claim in right away, as the sanction I believe, starts from the date you apply.

With regards to your son and husband - I know it's not why you have posted - but they have a common love and a very good reason to try and get along - that reason and common love is YOU. My eldest two children and my partner are not father and sons - however, when my partner took me on, he took on a woman with two children. I purposely never even went out with any men who had children - as I don't know what my reaction would be to 'their' children, and if I could treat them fairly as I would my own. That was a choice I made. If my partner and my children didn't get along to the point where at any time during their younger years, I felt that I had to quit my job, or change my life so drastically as my OH just would not be there for my children, I'm sorry - he would've been shown the door. My children came first, and always will. How much of your son's behavioural problems stem from the strained relationship? He must feel so unwanted, unloved in his own home if he's aware of the situation between him and his step father - particularly when his own dad isn't around to spend weekend time with him as well. What a lucky boy he is to have you though who is prepared to make such changes.

Just one thought though - if your family income drops, the same husband who won't help out with your son whatsoever, is going to be put in a position where he becomes financially responsible in some way for your son - as you will have no income. It takes alot more than the child maintenance monies from a nrp to provide for a child. How much strain will this put on the family if he does not want to contribute financially to his upbringing - as if you are sanctioned, and not in receipt of JSA - I cannot see him, from the way you describe him, wanting to provide anything of a financial nature for him.

Have you tried 'arranging for them' to get along? Maybe some family day activities (though it doesn't sound like you've had the time with working weekends) where they can't help but laugh and have fun together? What does your husband do on the weekend? Does he have activities/hobbies that your son could be encouraged to become interested in?

I'll bet if you could do something for the relationship between the two of them, his behavioural issues will take a turn for the better, and in turn, your husband may just enjoy spending time with him.

Debicj

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate your thoughts.

AnxiousMum wrote: »

I purposely never even went out with any men who had children - as I don't know what my reaction would be to 'their' children, and if I could treat them fairly as I would my own. That was a choice I made.
I also had that in mind as did my husband, but as the saying goes 'you can't choose who you fall in love with'. My husband had two teenagers when we met and shortly after that his grandchild was born. I accepted them and we all lived together for a while. However, things don't always go to plan and have gone downhill since then.

How much of your son's behavioural problems stem from the strained relationship? He must feel so unwanted, unloved in his own home if he's aware of the situation between him and his step father - particularly when his own dad isn't around to spend weekend time with him as well.
I wouldn't say the problems are from the relationship as he has always been this way. There are other issues that I don't want to go into, and if anything, it's my son's behaviour that has caused most of the problems and has led to my husband being unwilling to look after him during the only free time he has. It would be much better if I am there when my son isn't in school as it is me that he wants to be with anyway.

Just one thought though - if your family income drops, the same husband who won't help out with your son whatsoever, is going to be put in a position where he becomes financially responsible in some way for your son - as you will have no income. It takes alot more than the child maintenance monies from a nrp to provide for a child. How much strain will this put on the family if he does not want to contribute financially to his upbringing - as if you are sanctioned, and not in receipt of JSA - I cannot see him, from the way you describe him, wanting to provide anything of a financial nature for him.
My wages don't amount to much as I only work part time. My husband is already financially responsible for them and in no way begrudges my children anything. I am beginning to wonder if I have made him out to be a terrible man but this really isn't the case. The only problem is that he doesn't want to and isn't always able to look after my son while I work.

Have you tried 'arranging for them' to get along? Maybe some family day activities (though it doesn't sound like you've had the time with working weekends) where they can't help but laugh and have fun together? What does your husband do on the weekend? Does he have activities/hobbies that your son could be encouraged to become interested in?
My husband's interests involve him being out a lot at weekends especially during the summer. He goes to a lot of farm machinery auctions (that would be totally boring for my son). Also, a relative of his is professionally involved in motorsport and he often goes away for weekends to help out. There is no way my son could go with him as it's a group of men and would be a totally unsuitable environment for a 12 year old who won't do a thing he's told. The other blokes wouldn't let a kid tag along. He would be more at risk there than at home alone. While I am working weekends, there isn't a lot of time left to spend together, so I think it would be better if I could get a job where my free time coincides with that of my children's and my husband's.

I'll bet if you could do something for the relationship between the two of them, his behavioural issues will take a turn for the better, and in turn, your husband may just enjoy spending time with him.
We have really tried during the past few years but things haven't worked out and my husband is beyond the point of trying anymore. I really can't blame him and won't try to force him. he has already put up with far more than I would have done from his kids.

My mind is made up and my notice is handed in. I have to stop working weekends as it is causing too many problems.

AnxiousMum

At the end of the day - your son needs a parent around - you're that parent - and so I wish you well one person's 12 year old can be totally different to another's 12 year old. I would leave my 11 yr old for half an hour or so, but I already know that it would be a little longer before i would leave his 10 yr old brother home alone for any amount of time - possibly when he's 21....lol - as he is just way too adventurous and I could envisage coming home to find the kitchen burnt down due to his enthusiastic desires to cook a meal for the family! Good luck in your ventures

sleepless_saver

Good luck OP, I'm sure you've made the right decision even if JCP does decide to sanction you. You'll be sure your son (and your home!) is safe, and you'll get other work at some point which will fit better.

I think it's a pity people who come on this board for advice about benefits often get critical comments about their relationships instead. We don't know the detailed situation and I'm sure if you'd wanted advice about your relationship you would have posted on another board. Mini rant over:).

AnxiousMum

sleepless_saver wrote: »

Good luck OP, I'm sure you've made the right decision even if JCP does decide to sanction you. You'll be sure your son (and your home!) is safe, and you'll get other work at some point which will fit better.

I think it's a pity people who come on this board for advice about benefits often get critical comments about their relationships instead. We don't know the detailed situation and I'm sure if you'd wanted advice about your relationship you would have posted on another board. Mini rant over:).

Sometimes there's a whole lot more to think about too than just the loss of some extra money - and not everybody actually has given it thought unlike the original poster who has!