Life A Mess At The Moment Any Advice Needed?

delboyuk2005uk

I have been meaning to ask for help and advice for a few weeks now but have not had the energy to think or even type anything out.

Basically my girlfreind left with my daughter to go her mums nearly 13 weeks ago now. Since then my life has gone down hill. I was surviving up until about 9 weeks out of the 13. Anyway from week 8-9 I have been off work for depression

Last week was the worse in my life I hit rock bottom had a welfare visit from the police which ended up in my front door being kicked through as I hid on the roof.
Been sent to hospital to talk to people etc.

Since then I have started to pick myself up but I have a lot of stress on me at the moment. With regards to my girlfreind well ex and my daughter I have been seeing them all week.

Just when I think I am getting better and being able to work something just hits me and makes me feel low again. Anyway here is a bit advice I am after. The answer to all these is probabaly no but I am just making sure.

1) The front door, can I get this paid by the police? They said no of course. But to write into this address who will look into this further? Failing this can I get my house insurance to pay out for a new door?

2) Now the doc has signed me off work for 5 weeks from the 14/05/2010. To the 18/06/2010. I am only entitiled to SSP pay from work. IS there anything else I can claim I am in a mess with money with no income coming in at the moment. Will citizens advice help me or anybody else?

3) Can I have a mortgage break with my mortgage lender? How will this work and will this effect my credit rating or score in the future?

4) I have mortgage protection insurance but they have declined my application for the reasons below.

Accoriding to the information supplied. It would appear that you are presently unable to work due to a stress related conditon. Whilst I appreciate that your condition prevents you from working. Under the terms and conditions of your policy, no benefit is payable for any psychiatric illness or mental or nervous disorders, including stress reactions, unless you are under the continuing care of a consultant psychiatric specialist.

Now I have been to the docs about this they said they cant refer me to a specialist. But will write me a letter to say that the rules have changed about this. Thats all they can do some companies will accept this. But they still have the right to say no. So this is putting a lot more stress on me today.

5) I am off of course and on SSP pay. I rang me employers asking can I take holidays for the remaining time I am off work sick. They said no as I am signed off sick they have to do that. And any holidays I had booked in this time will be over ridden by this.

I think they said if I get signed back to work then they can do the holidays. But if I do get signed back to work then of course this will effect question number 4.

As if they do decide to pay out which is a big if I need to be off for 30 days off course.

AnxiousMum

I'm sorry I can't answer your questions, but didn't want to read and run. I would certainly suggest that you get all your paperwork together re mortgage etc., and go down to your local CAB where someone can sit with you and go through all your points. They will be able to hopefully guide you in the right direction.

Just one thing to keep in mind here - you have a daughter! I'm hoping that your ex isnt keeping her from you, and that you are going to be able to maintain your relationship with your daughter. No matter what happens between parents, the children still need both of you.

I know things look bleak at the moment - they WILL get better - but you need to go and talk to someone who can help you out with the various points you have raised.

Someone will be along soon with some help I'm sure - but I didn't want to read and run.

delboyuk2005uk

No problem thanks for you support. Yes she was holding me back from seeing my daughter when I was at my worse which I do agree with her with. This week I have seen them both loads been with them nearly every day spending loads of time with them both. They even slept in this house last night. Her and our daughter in the main bedroom. Me in the spare bedroom. But ill take that at the moment if it means them both sometimes stay round the house. We have finally agreed well me come round to the idea of selling the house. So a few jobs need doing then we are putting the house up for sale. Daughters mum was upset when she came round last night when she seen the front door. She just said I hae the house I hat it. So I manged to console her and say we will get all the minor jobs done before the door is replaced and then get it up for sale.

Wee_Willy_Harris

I'll only answer what I can, but I'm sure other will be along soon to fill in the gaps.

1. Highly unlikely that you will get anything for the front door as it was broken due to your own actions. Sorry.

3. Speak to your lender and request a "payment holiday". If it's possible it will mean no mortgage payments for a set period, (usually 1 -3 months, but some allow longer, some none at all). If you do get it, interest will still be added to the balance owed, but it won't effect your credit rating.

4. Ask your Dr how you DO get a referal to a consultant psychiatric specialist. There must be a way or they would be out of a job.

The Samaritans are good people to talk to and available 24/7, if you need them.

Good luck.

AnxiousMum

delboyuk2005uk wrote: »

No problem thanks for you support. Yes she was holding me back from seeing my daughter when I was at my worse which I do agree with her with. This week I have seen them both loads been with them nearly every day spending loads of time with them both. They even slept in this house last night. Her and our daughter in the main bedroom. Me in the spare bedroom. But ill take that at the moment if it means them both sometimes stay round the house. We have finally agreed well me come round to the idea of selling the house. So a few jobs need doing then we are putting the house up for sale. Daughters mum was upset when she came round last night when she seen the front door. She just said I hae the house I hat it. So I manged to console her and say we will get all the minor jobs done before the door is replaced and then get it up for sale.

So glad that you are getting to see your daughter I can certainly understand not wanting the daughter to see you in such a state, and that not being a good time to have you together - but the fact that your ex has been supportive of you and your daughter this week by ensuring you get to see each other - well done to both of you for being able to ensure that is possible.

Good suggestion on the Samaritans - you've got loads going on right now, some things that can be fixed physically, but others that you need to get your head around and learn how to cope through it . The Samaritans can really help you with you coming to an understanding of what you are experiencing, and giving you the strength and the courage you need to get everything on track.

delboyuk2005uk

4. He said he will not refer me to one for depression. Refer cannot be done on nhs for depression.

3. What interest will be added to my mortgage can you elaborate on this as I wont know how it would work?

delboyuk2005uk

Well from having my door broke into last friday and took to hospital by police incase I did something silly. I have been visited by the crisis team over this last week. Just to talk to them before they decide what the best option for me is ie councilling.

Wee_Willy_Harris

delboyuk2005uk wrote: »

4. He said he will not refer me to one for depression. Refer cannot be done on nhs for depression.

3. What interest will be added to my mortgage can you elaborate on this as I wont know how it would work?

The interest your usual monthly payments would cover. It's not quite right but an easy way to guestimate it, as I presume this is a fairly new (less than 7 years) mortgage would be to just add on the missed payments to the amount owed shown in you annual statement. When things pick up, you can always make additional payments (overpayments) to get back on track. It won't make a massive difference if they excuse you 3 monthly payments.

Wee_Willy_Harris

delboyuk2005uk wrote: »

Well from having my door broke into last friday and took to hospital by police incase I did something silly. I have been visited by the crisis team over this last week. Just to talk to them before they decide what the best option for me is ie councilling.

Clutching at straws, but I wonder if they can refwer you to a consultant psychiatric specialist?

delboyuk2005uk

So I am currently paying 325 a month. So give me 3 months holiday they add 975 onto my mortgage.

delboyuk2005uk

Wee_Willy_Harris wrote: »

Clutching at straws, but I wonder if they can refwer you to a consultant psychiatric specialist?

Well they are coming to see me tomowrow so ill ask them.