Starting a new job and Pregnancy - Advice Needed

Material_Girl_2

I would tell them that you are pregnant to be honest. They will work it out soon enough and then they know that you deliberately witheld this information. That might change your employers perception of you.

The other thing to consider is that you may have a probation period for about three months? If so, they can terminate your employment within one week without giving a reason. I had this kind of contract before and I think a lot of companies do this to cover themselves.

Personally I would wait until you are offerd the job and then mention the pregnancy. You could then discuss the details of returning to work as soon as you can and that you see this job as a long term career choice. If the company believes that you are the right canditate then they may not take a short-sighted view and still want you to join the company.

Good luck whatever you decide and congrats on your pregnancy!

samandona

Thanks for your replies.

I know for certain they won't proceed with my employment if I tell them about my pregnancy now. I do not have to tell them until 25 weeks and that is unfortunatly the ony way I can see this progressing. As you said material girl, "If the company believes I am the right candidate they may not take the short-cited view..." but then again they might!

As others have said, they could be very supportive when I tell them but Im not in a position to take that risk. They can not view it as "deliberately withholding information" because I do not have to tell them! It's not like I have a criminal conviction I have 'forgotten' to write on my application form.

Glamazon - Unfortunatly, I am not in the financial position to be able to "wait" until after having my baby for them to offer me the job. The lon and the short of it is they wont. I have not been headhunter for the job, or anything even similar. I simply applied, was short-listed, interviewed then offered it. I am not the only person they have taken on either so "losing" me wouldn't hurt them all that much.

brians_daughter

I have worked in HR and we have had 2 people in simular situations to you. We would not have hired them if we had known they were pregnant as the job involves intensive training and things changed so quickly by the time they had come back off mat leave would have needed re-training. 1 told us when she accepted the job, the other left it as long as she could before she told us...we were happy she was upfront with us, the one who wasnt left quite a bitter taste in all our mouths for one reason or another.

From an employers point of view it takes a lot of time money and effort to recruit someone so they do not want it to fail...but if people are 'keeping secrets' for months and months it makes ppl question them as a person. However, if you are the right candidate for the role and upfront then your employer should be happy to support you. By telling them as soon as reasonably possible (ie after accepting the job) it shows you understand business needs etc and possible recruitment problems to cover for mat leave etc, plus it gives the company the opportunity to approach other candidates who applied for the role and say that they havent been successful on this occasssion but there will be maternity leave cover coming up on x date if they would be interested... this solves the recruitment probs for whilst you are on mat leave

TBH by not mentioning it on job offer you are at a greater risk in some ways ie if it leave a bad feeling with employers they can simply decide you arent the right candidate for the job and then you are left with a blemish on your CV - may people think they can hide this but some documents will have previous employer details on there and i have come accros quite a few instances where i have phone for ref's for people and it has come out that they left to work for another company but it hasnt been declare on CV so they dont end up getting the job as they lied on the CV.

Although i am not saying ANY of this will happen to you I am just sharing experience from a HR point fo view, and that I expect the company would rather know when you accept the job that you are pregnant as they may be required to carry out additional H&S checks for pregnant women etc and by you not telling them they cant do this, plus they will need to decide if they need to train you on everything at once or just train you on core aspects with a view to a full induction upon return from mat leave.

Just to add i actually got preg after only working for my employer 6weeks - they were fine about it - again, i feel this is because i was upfront and honest. Although strictly speaking its 'nothing to do with them' and you only need to inform them at a certian point surely you can see that by hiding such wonderful news could be percieved by some as quite sly in some ways?

and finally - good luck with your pregnancy! What a wonderful time for you!

xmaslolly76

brians_daughter wrote: »

I have worked in HR and we have had 2 people in simular situations to you. We would not have hired them if we had known they were pregnant as the job involves intensive training and things changed so quickly by the time they had come back off mat leave would have needed re-training. 1 told us when she accepted the job, the other left it as long as she could before she told us...we were happy she was upfront with us, the one who wasnt left quite a bitter taste in all our mouths for one reason or another.

And there in itself is the op's problem, she really wants the job and really needs the job but faces the prospect of them saying no based on the fact that she is pregnant and not if she is any good for the role!

Redman30

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

And there in itself is the op's problem, she really wants the job and really needs the job but faces the prospect of them saying no based on the fact that she is pregnant and not if she is any good for the role!

Devil's advocate says that she's not particularly good for 12 months of the role at least. Those 12 months have to be absorbed by the business and by her colleagues covering for her.

I'd recommend being upfront, but since you've already ruled that out you might as well just take what you can get - employment law will be on your side afterall Morally of course, is another issue entirely, and if someone did something equivalent to you I bet it would leave a sour taste at the very least.

samandona

Thanks for your replies.

Without anyone knowing what sort of job it is directly, it is very difficult to explain. I appreciate all the responses, but I feel I must disregard some of the advice. Brians Daughter - that is exactly the sort of prejudice I am facing. You said yourself you would not have hired 2 candidates simply because they were pregnant. Firstly, that is horrendously illegal as Im sure you know, but it does not instill faith in me telling the company know. I KNOW they will not employ me if I tell them now. As for leaving a bitter taste - Im not sure I care all that much. I have to do what is right for me at the moment and that involves earning enough money to support myself. My only alternative is scrubbing off the state - would you prefer I did that?
I appreciate your comment about getting pregnant after working for the company for 6 weeks, but that is still 6 weeks, plus the presumed 35 you worked for them. I am already 18 weeks.

Redman : "Morally of course, is another issue entirely, and if someone did something equivalent to you I bet it would leave a sour taste at the very least." Morally? Precisely what morals am I bringing into question? I am pregnant - this is not a situation I can change - and I need to work. I am perfectly capable of doing the job, so why it is fair they decide not to employ me based purely on the fact I am pregnant. THAT questions the morals. Also, why am I suddenly not going to be particularly good at my job for 12 months?

Redman30

samandona wrote: »

Redman : "Morally of course, is another issue entirely, and if someone did something equivalent to you I bet it would leave a sour taste at the very least." Morally? Precisely what morals am I bringing into question? I am pregnant - this is not a situation I can change - and I need to work. I am perfectly capable of doing the job, so why it is fair they decide not to employ me based purely on the fact I am pregnant. THAT questions the morals. Also, why am I suddenly not going to be particularly good at my job for 12 months?

A reminder that I chose to play devils advocate first of all.

You are acting immorally by not being truthful to your future employer. You are acting immorally by deliberately witholding information which may affect your employers business and their employees. You are not capable of doing the job for 12 months, you're already aware of this and you chose to omit that from your application. It's not that you won't be good at your job for 12 months, but that you won't be at your job for 12 months - you stated this yourself, thereby putting extra pressure on you colleagues and the business itself.

Of course if you chose to be upfront with your situation, then the moral decision is passed to your prospective employer as to whether to hire someone who effectively won't be of use to them for 18 months (including training, then retraining). As it is, you haven't given your employer the opportunity to act morally, therefore you certainly can't play the victim.

If I was you, I'd also not tell them. If I were an employee of that company who would work with you in future, I'd hold a dim view of the new member of the team who almost immediately leaves and gives me more work.

samandona

The fact I am pregnant is irrelvant though. Are you suggesting that women should inform empoyers that they are trying to conceive, or that they intend to leave, or that they are intending to end their marriage....after all, that too would almost certainly affect work performance.

This figure of 18 months is fiction. I would start work now, need to leave in October. Then would return 6 months later. So that is 6 months of not working. I would not be able to afford to take anymore than 6 months leave. As you can see, I would not be leaving 'immediately'. You are right in that I havn't given them the opportunity to decline to employ me. I don't fancy having to try and find another job as my pregnancy progresses. They are a business and do not act morally. You seem to have forgotten this.

I am also greatful I will not be working with you in the future as I would hate to have such small minded colleagues.

Just to add - The initial training is one week, before employment commences. There is no retraining involved. I would step straight back into the job once I returned from maternity leave.

Redman30

samandona wrote: »

The fact I am pregnant is irrelvant though. Are you suggesting that women should inform empoyers that they are trying to conceive, or that they intend to leave, or that they are intending to end their marriage....after all, that too would almost certainly affect work performance..

It's relevant because you're here asking the question, you're already pregnant - you have a deadline so to speak.

samandona wrote: »

This figure of 18 months is fiction. I would start work now, need to leave in October. Then would return 6 months later. So that is 6 months of not working. ..

And I quote:

samandona wrote: »

I know it is poor form to take on a long-term job knowing I will only be able to work for 4 or 5 months maximum out of the next 17,

That's where I got the 12 months from, and the 18 month overall (including guessing at the training

samandona wrote: »

They are a business and do not act morally. You seem to have forgotten this.

Irrelevant, you can't base your own morals on such statements.

samandona wrote: »

I am also greatful I will not be working with you in the future as I would hate to have such small minded colleagues..

Devils advocate, I find this an interesting topic. As it happens I'd lie to the employer and take the job also. Morals be damned in this case as your own future is what you should be worrying about.

samandona wrote: »

Just to add - The initial training is one week, before employment commences. There is no retraining involved. I would step straight back into the job once I returned from maternity leave.

Fair enough

iamana1ias

You can't guarantee anything OP. Your pregnancy imposes obligations on them that you aren't making them aware of. You can't guarantee to be healthy throughout the entire pregnancy, so you can't even guarantee them 5 months service.

There is a world of difference between starting work at 18 weeks and getting pregnant after getting employment.

You would have very few rights and assuming they could easily replace you, I expect they will do just that.