Grrrrr motivation has gone

SandC

I got myself into an awful cycle of weight gain, feeling bad so eating, not going to the gym or classes so giving myself an excuse to drink more etc. etc. etc.

I decided earlier this year to knock it on the head after I started to see signs of my health suffering. See I stopped smoking in March 2009 and thought my raised blood pressure would right itself - biggest factor and all that. But it didn't so I had to admit it was all the other stuff as well.

Believe me, what stopped me going to the gym was fear of seeing someone I knew, fear of how red faced and sweaty I would be in a class and the rest. So I joined yet another gym whilst still paying the membership on the old one I rarely went to. I started with swimming before work. I know from past experience that there will only ever be so many people there at that time (I know this might be an issue for you but gyms are pretty empty at the weekends, did you know that?). After only days I decided I was going to do a class. That's what I used to do and I could do it again.

It helped that the people there are so normal, so non judgemental and I don't know what I worried about. There really are all shapes and sizes at the gym, and all that can happen is you start to see a change in you cos you can't avoid the mirrors.

I'm getting there after 3.5 months and I'm now going 6x per week.

Just don't expect miraculous weight loss but you WILL feel better for it. Just making that first step to do something is the hardest. Baby steps.

Bubby

burtandernie wrote: »

Have you tried St johns Wort?

It is meant to help stop depression and improve your moods.

I have used this before but having experienced severe depression twice I know the signs and whilst what I type fits into the "box" I know that isn't what I am feeling. I am more fed up than anything and need a kick up the b0tt0m:D

Bubby

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

. I realised that I was a good person and that what rattled around in my own head wasn't what other people saw. I know that I am a "good" person I am very caring, always help everyone out (sometimes to the detriment of myself) and am a very loving partner and mum. Its more the appearance than what I am like inside iyswim (how shallow is that:o)
My weight whilst an issue for me WASN'T and issue for other people and it was holding me back. I've still not lost much (if any) of my baby weight yet but I am working on liking myself, making a little bit of effort here and there. I am trying to not let my weight define me - I have a brain, am interested in current affairs, politics, world events etc so whilst I am the main child carer for our kids I take an interest in things that I find interesting. I do make an effort to keep up to date with current affairs and research things that interest me so that I have some coversation more than anything. I find that once I like something I find out everything about it:o and become a bit obsessive (probably due to having time on my hands)

. As much as I love my children I needed to do something just for me. Even surfing on MSE is for me - I like the challenge of saving money and living frugally so I read up on it, borrow cook books etc etc. I must admit I enjoy surfing this site and have saved us quite a bit of money on tips, I keep meaning to try some recipes but have just never got round to it:o

Do you feel lost because you don't have the sort of job you used to?

Yes a bit, I felt important before. I was respected and did really well at my job, when you are a mum there isn't the ability to "measure" your success and I feel that I am sometimes a bit harsh on myself. My children have always slept through, are polite, well liked, well dressed (hmmm I spend slightly too much on their clothes and their accessories) they do well at school are liked by the teachers and are very caring yet I always fix on the things they can't do (not to them but as a reflection of my parenting:o)

In reality are we likely to get back our pre pregnancy bodies? No. It's a fact I've had to face but then again I am not going to get back the body I had when I was 20 and yet that doesn't bother me. I've got stretchmarks but hey no one but my kids and my H are going to see them. Doesn't stop me going swimming, I just wear an all in one cozzie. I've got varicos (sp?) veins from both pregnancies and as an apple my legs were my best feature but hey this is a result of having my beautiful kids. I can just wear trousers or longer skirts, lets face it I can't carry off the short skirts I used to anyway :rotfl:
Do I want my daughter to grow up with body issues? Nope but the only way she's going to have a healthy attittude to herself is by me leading example so that's another good reason for me to work on my self esteem.

Bottom line don't compare yourself to other people. You'd be suprised how many other women who you might think have the perfect figure are crippled with self doubt or have their own demons No one has the perfect life - just concentrate on making yourself happy and pay no attention to other people around you. Read books written by people who inspire you, look for solutions to your problems rather than for the negative response (I am sooooooo good at doing the latter )

Sorry if this comes across as "preachy I just wanted to share my own ramblings

It doesn't sound preachy it was a good post. I know alot of it is in my head and when I can get it right in my head my body will follow. I was very upset when I had my first at getting stretchmarks and had laser treatment which reduced them massively and the ones I have are skin colour however they don't bother me anymore it is just simply my weight. I know I won't ever get back the perfect skin you have as a teen but if I could just lose weight that would be enough for me. Hubby has already promised me a b00b job if I really really want one after I have lost it all (as I have rather large b00bs and am worried they might be saggy after losing weight)

If my weight didn't affect so many areas of my life I could maybe learn to love myself a bit more but it prevents me from doing so much. I used to run around and jump in the ball pits etc with my friends children yet have never done that with my own children:(:(

Keeping_Motivated

Mmmm sounds like you are suffering from perfectionism...if everything isn't perfect then its not 'right'..so if my body is not perfect then what is the point, all or nothing thinking with the weight issues?

Pick up the phone today and make an arrangement to visit a gym, if you don't like it then visit another until you feel comfortable with your choice. If the weight is causing the depression 'symptoms' (I agree you would know if it was actual depression) then tackle the weight a day at a time and get rid of those awful symptoms.

Maybe post on here one thing a day you have done to help with your weight, so today could be I've made an appointment to visit a gym. Tomorrow could be I ate 2 pieces of fruit and so on until you start seeing progress. You cannot get from A to Z with your weight so you need to start the journey NOW because its ruining your time now and its ruining the memories and experinces you want to give you children of you frolicking around with them. From your posts it is clear that it is only action that will change things.

Will you make the gym call?

aliasojo

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Maybe post on here one thing a day you have done to help with your weight.................

I think that's a very good idea. Actually posting about one thing each day will help focus you.

Bubby

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Mmmm sounds like you are suffering from perfectionism...if everything isn't perfect then its not 'right'..so if my body is not perfect then what is the point, all or nothing thinking with the weight issues? OMG I am actually like this in every aspect of my life:o:eek:

Pick up the phone today and make an arrangement to visit a gym, if you don't like it then visit another until you feel comfortable with your choice. If the weight is causing the depression 'symptoms' (I agree you would know if it was actual depression) then tackle the weight a day at a time and get rid of those awful symptoms.

I agree

Maybe post on here one thing a day you have done to help with your weight, so today could be I've made an appointment to visit a gym. Tomorrow could be I ate 2 pieces of fruit and so on until you start seeing progress. You cannot get from A to Z with your weight so you need to start the journey NOW because its ruining your time now and its ruining the memories and experinces you want to give you children of you frolicking around with them. From your posts it is clear that it is only action that will change things.

Will you make the gym call?

Just about to do the school run, have already made a call to a specialist about getting an awful blood spot removed which causes me alot of embarressment so I feel quite good. I am going to look up some local gyms on the net then make the call (will report back once I have made the call)

This is a great idea:T

Keeping_Motivated

Bubby wrote: »

Just about to do the school run, have already made a call to a specialist about getting an awful blood spot removed which causes me alot of embarressment so I feel quite good. I am going to look up some local gyms on the net then make the call (will report back once I have made the call)

This is a great idea:T

Great

Working on the perfectionist thinking will make you more aware of yoour blocks to starting and keeping at the weight loss. You'll do it because the fact you posted in the first place shows how much you want it, you just need to level out the perfectionism to allow you to actually start :A

elfen

Just to let you know, if you go on the Pill and take St John's Wort, it can stop it working as effectively and I don't know if you'd want to be pregnant again.

I know how you feel, my weight gain isn't children but medication. At my heaviest I weighed nearly 14st, couldn't sleep for wheezing and sweated constantly. The only diet I'm on now is the "healthy food and lots of veg but no potatoes/bread/pasta/high carb food" even if I don't always want to stick to it, but I do try. I have depression and borderline PD too so I make things when I have the energy, e.g. I'll wash up, then prepare a salad to go with the burgers I made about half an hour before. Can you make yourself a meal when you do the kids, or have a portion of theirs so you're eating better?
Also, one thing that helps me is eating regularly, so every 3 hours I'll eat but it will be something small (say a banana, or a rice cake with topping and apple) but as I'm eating regularly I lose weight more....evne though most of the time I am eating more than I was before....
I am now down to just under 12st and I'm still finding it hard. I've started the couch to 5k (it's a running thing to help you get a bit fitter - google it:D it's pretty cool) and it makes me feel so much better. I also agree with others who've said not to buy the fatty junk foods but instead buy fruit and veg and encourage the nippers to help you cook (even if it is washing lettuce or putting carrots on a plate of salad) as then they have healthy habits too. But it is important to allow yourself one evening say every fortnight where you can get a takeaway/have chocolate so you don't feel like you're missing out.

Keeping_Motivated

Bubby

I have just had another thought which may or may not be an option. I am not sure how your finances are but as you feel very de-motivated at the moment and you also mention not liking to be alone I was wondering if it would be a better option for you to book some sessions with a personal fitness instructor rather than tie yourself into a gym membership which you may struggle to get the motivation to use on your own.

If you have appointments booked with a PT you are likely to attend whereas there is appointment booked with the gym so easier to skive. After a course of sessions with a PT you might then feel in a routine and energisesd enough to join the gym?

Some people will think its too expensive to have a PT but its more expensive to pay for a years gym membership you may not use? And each and every session with a PT will be maximum benefit exercise wise for you and you won't feel 'alone'.

If money doesn't allow a PT then you need to work out which part of the day you have more energy so more likely to find the motivation to stick to a routine.

Bubby

I have spoken to our local gym who want me to pop in tomorrow. They do alot of evening classes and I wasn't sure whether it was the gym or an evening class that I wanted to do. I think the idea of a personal trainer is a good one, I will need to find out how much it is. We have quite alot of debt (paying it back isn't the issue) but we realise that with no savings and debt 75% of my husbands annual salary we need to sort ourselves out:eek: But it is that important to me that I HAVE to do something:)

PS. I have been reading up on the perfectionism and that is me!!:eek:, I have to arrange everything in the house to look "perfect" and I make sure my children look "perfect" even down to my dogs:o:o:o, I am going to buy myself a book about this