Can't really cope any more

Material_Girl_2

I understand that you don't want to wear second hand clothing from charity shops - I'll be exactly the same wearing strangers clothes. I would wear clothes given to me by family and friends though. Do you have any friends at all that you could ask for clothes, shoes etc?

One more thing I've just thought of, you've said you've been with your girlfriend for a long time but hardly see each other. Could you live in a shared room in a flatshare together? That may save some money.

Could you just get a bus ticket instead of the train tickets. I think they may be quite a lot cheaper (or used to be, not sure if that's still the same). You'd spend more time travelling but you may save money.

Nottoobadyet

Not sure I understand the visa situation - if you studied here as a non EU student (like me!), surely you should have a Teir 1 or Post Study work visa that has no limit on the hours you are allowed to work. Not sure of the situation if you have a work visa sponsored by your employer.

I also live in London - in purely monetary terms, you'd certainly be better off moving closer to work. A flat share in Camden or Brixton can easily be found for about £400 a month, and you could probubly walk or bus in to wherever you work. If you want to live together, get a flat share that is ok for a couple, this is probubly the cheapest way to live in London, you can easily end up paying £80 a week each in a decent neighborhood closer to the centre.

DFWANNABE_3

Thanks for replying

MG: Bus is a no no atm, takes me forever with the trains imagine how much longer buses would take me.

I will think about the clothes and like Nottoobad said flatshare, last time we looked at it, it was too expensive for us as she currently lives at home (with sis + BIL) for £40 pw

Nottoobad: I am on an employer sponsored work permit which restricts me to just working for the employer but will be contact immigration charities to see if I can get another job etc

Where do you normally look for flatshares? Gumtree?

Thanks

DFW

Sarsie

About the paid online surveys, they aren't really work as such and they don't do checks on your status. You just sign up, like you would for facebook, hotmail or MSE. Start HERE.

In all honesty I think your living expenses are fabulously low, well done.

I do think though that what Nottoobadyet said about moving to Camden or Brixton may not be such a bad plan, I know you said you found it too expensive but are you taking into account the saving you would make on your travel if you did? Anyhow, it can't hurt to check the appropriate property adverts regularly eh.

Never mind all that anyway... I think the real problem is clearly your repayments! You pay back £360 on an income of £1100! :eek: I consider this crippling!

You're not in this position because you're overspending on your living costs, you do not have an expensive lifestyle. Taking out travel and rent you actually live on £35.70 a week by my maths, that's less than three quarters what you'd be getting if you were a Brit on the lowest possible rate of Job Seekers Allowance. JSA is paid out at the rate the government calculates to be the least anyone can live on! You are not only living below the property line you're living below the posibility line!

Your repayments are crippling, this is insanity, you absolutly must look at getting help to lower them and the best advice you are going to get is not from me it's from someone like CCCS or National Debtline. Start by reading this page HERE in full, then contact CCCS, ND or the CAB. It doesn't matter in the least that you are an immigrant, your debt is British and therefore you are exactly the kind of person they help. These are not charities that do food relief, you are taking nothing from anyone who needs it in using the service.

You have options regarding lowering your debts to the banks, if you could lower your repayments to, say, £150 a month, you'd have enough money to stand on your own two feet without living off your girlfriend and maybe even start paying her back a bit.

Your girlfriend will probably accept £20 a month (after your bank debt repayments are lowered) towards her debt for now, until your pay rises, which should be within a year or two so not forever eh. The first thing is to stop borrowing off her though, this is no way to live.

If you can get the bank repayments to a sensible level for the income you are currently on then that will make your life bearable until your pay increases AND start sorting out the money mess that overshadows your relationship too.

DFWANNABE_3

Hi Sarsie,

Thanks for the reply.

When I last checked living close to work, the math was not adding up unless I was willing to live in a dodgy area.

I wouldn't really mind the repayments but it is affecting my relationship which is a priority for me. Who said education was cheap eh? :rotfl:I will be speaking to my loan provider to see if I can spread the remaining repayments over 2 years as oppose to the remaining 1. Don't mind paying a bit more interest if needed.

I will read and get in touch with the suggested charities.

I have never borrowed money from her per se she would just transfer money to my account every month and pay for all her bills, I have been keeping track of the total and my calculation says it has reached £5,200. I have not let her transfer any money since March, told her if she does it I am going to end the relationship! :( I had no choice but to threaten her cause she wants me to be comfortable but it was getting too much. She doesn't want the monies till I am on a decent pay but I have it high on my list to be repaying her ASAP.

I think that is part of the problem, I am too hung up with the money I think I owe her. She probably feels that I am unwilling to share my problems with her or something!

We will see how it goes! Keep you all posted!

Thanks

DFW

PS: Please keep the helpful suggestions and advice coming

Sarsie

No no, you talk to one of those charities BEFORE you talk to your loan provider ok, otherwise it's the wrong way round. The loan provider only cares about thier money, the charity are intrested in what is right for YOU.

Your girlfriend is forcing you into a position where you are dependant on her. Not good. Not good at all.

So you want to be looking at getting that official loan down to £150 a month and telling the girlfriend to stop it immediately.

savingwannabe

oh my gosh. I feel for you. It will pay off in the long run. Are you part of a church? our church helps a lot of young people from abroad. Good luck with everything, sorry i am not v clever at this sort of thing but i wish you well. Good luck.

Nottoobadyet

Where do you work? I imagine you could find a flat within a reasonable distance, in a good area that would save you money once you dropped the £200 on transport. You could even live in a very decent area in zone 3 (Hendon, where I used to live, for example) where the travel card would only cost you about £130 to get to the centre and a rented room in a good sized place would only cost you about £350-£400 a month.

I've found that paying the extra £20 ish a week to live in Camden works out cheaper as I now only spend about £30 a month on a pay as you go oyster to go to friends etc and walk to work.

I found Spareroom is quite good for flatshares, Im sure there are others as well.

Could you see if you can switch from a work visa to Teir 1? check on the online calculator to see if you have enough points, though of course it costs money it might make sense in the long run and make you less dependant on this employer.

DVardysShadow

Sarsie wrote: »

No no, you talk to one of those charities BEFORE you talk to your loan provider ok, otherwise it's the wrong way round. The loan provider only cares about thier money, the charity are intrested in what is right for YOU.

Your girlfriend is forcing you into a position where you are dependant on her. Not good. Not good at all.

So you want to be looking at getting that official loan down to £150 a month and telling the girlfriend to stop it immediately.

I have a different take on this. She obviously views herself and DFW as an item and can see his potential - so although they are not living together she is acting very much as you might in a committed relationship and investing in the future of the other partner. If they both feel equally committed, then it is fine, but if DFW feels less committed, then of course he will feel he is being bought.

RAS

Hi

Rather than charity shops have you consider www.freegle.co.uk - like e-bay but the stuff is free. Whack the stuff through the washing machine before you wear it. Also an ace place to get household kit, stuff got hobbies etc.

Re extra work the work permit rules used to allow additional part-time work as long as it was ancilliary to the main employment but I know a lot of rules changed in the last year. Tried reading the UKBA site http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/workingintheuk/tier1/ and it really is not clear.

Certainly look at clicks, surveys and the freebies forums here.