Can't really cope any more

DFWANNABE_3

Hi all,

Been lurking around for a while now, finally plucked some courage to seek some help and see if I can plug the hole before the ship well and truly sinks.

A bit about me, I am a 23 year old guy who is living in London and doing an apprenticeship which finishes (hopefully) next year. When my salary should increase 2.8 folds I am currently renting a room which includes all the bills somewhere in zone 8. This is the cheapest I could find in a half decent area (hence the travelcard being so expensive - 20% of my wage! :eek:).

My debts stem from my uni days, being an international student and my parents not being well off I funded myself through uni with a mix of scholarships, bursary, working and DEBT! [I am not eligible for any benefits as I am non-EU national] The original loan finishes next summer. The second debt is owed to my girlfriend (:o:() of 2 and a half years [yes I know I know that a lot of people frown on borrowing from family and friends], the debt originally stemmed from her paying all the bills when we went out etc and I would put my share of the bills in the "account" [as I am too proud for my own good] and then grew to ad hoc help like paying for my deposit when I moved and subsequently became a regular subsidy from her to help me make ends meet! Before I knew it was a staggering £5,200!! :eek:
I have put an end to it, I have not let her give me money for the last couple of months and I must be honest things have not been easy and I am really scared that it will ruin our relationship as we hardly seem to be spending time together and when we do I seem to be constantly counting the pennies!

A bit about my income and expenses:

1) Getting another job / getting benefits: not possible due visa restrictions and being a non-EU national.

2) Clothing (primark) includes a budget to replace / get new work clothes as I have been using the 5 shirts and 2 trousers for nearly two years and I am not sure they will last any more. I have had my shoes for over 7 years and unfortunately will not be able to use them much longer. Charity shops / ebay is not an option as a couple of years ago I managed to catch a nasty case of scabies from charity shop clothing.

3) Entertainment includes once a month work social that I can't seem to get out of. It also includes an occasional entertainment to keep me sane.

4) Haircut is stretched to the maximum period. Can't do it myself as I have not got stable hands and gf will not do it, she would drag my backside to the barber and pay for it (and maybe transfer money to my account - last thing I want)

5) Presents includes everything birthdays, xmas etc. Trying to cut it down to the bone.

6) Can't move in with gf cause she lives with her sister and brother in law. Landlord won't allow her to move in with me. Too expensive to get our own place.

I am not being defensive or making excuses just thought I would provide you with a bit more detail.

If there is any information you need to help me get by or something that can be reduced further please let me know.

Thanks

DFW

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned....................
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1100
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1100
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 350
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 0
Electricity............................. 0
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 10
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 75
Clothing................................ 15
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 228
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 15
Haircuts................................ 8
Entertainment........................... 30
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 731

Assets
Cash.................................... 20
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 20

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Loan...........................3940......360.......8
Loan 2.........................5200......0.........0
Total unsecured debts..........9140......360.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,100
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 731
Available for debt repayments........... 369
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 360
Amount left after debt repayments....... 9
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 20
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -9,140
Net Assets.............................. -9,120

DFWANNABE_3

Any advice?

PS: Those of you thinking troll, I am far from it!

dancingfairy

Okay a couple of suggestions - not sure how the visa thing works but how about doing some internet surveys or something - might earn a few vouchers to pay for a few things?
Also what about things like child sitting/dog walking/gardening/ironing etc? I'm not sure if you could do these as part of your visa or not?
Have you spoken to one of the english debt charities that Martin recommends? You may have to default on your debts as you can't pay them and make token payments until such time as things improve financially.
Charities - I don't know if there are any charities that can help with the odd food parcel or something?
Are you religious as some religions provide food to people if they are struggling (although you may not need to be of that faith but it might help)
The other thing that may or may not be possible is doing volunteering in return for something - ie I don't know whether you local shop would want a hand for a couple of hours a week and you could take food instead of wages? - I'm not sure if this could be done?
Also I don't know what country your from but I wondered whether there was a strong community for people from your country who could give you help and suggestions?

df

DFWANNABE_3

dancingfairy wrote: »

Will read all your post and be back in a min but wanted you to know someone will take a look for you.
df

Thanks DF,

Was just worried people thought I was another troll

pennypusher

HI DFWANNABE Have you thought about a second job in the evenings or weekends to increase your income. Is there any way you can reduce your travel costs? Have a look on the board for reducing your groceries bill, it is not very high but you might be able to shave off a little. Good luck.

Material_Girl_2

Your budget looks really tight. Could you get a part time job for a while or overtime at work? Re you travel does your firm offer a season ticket loan? If so it may be worth looking into it as you will get a discount, a month or sor, with an annual ticket.

With the social at work I would always have "a prior engagement" or just say you are trying to save up for something like a deposit or a car and that's why you are not going out for a few months.

Instead of shopping at Primark, can you ask your parents or other relatives for pre-birthday or christmas presents? A bit cheeky but I'm sure you're parents may think that you're being sensible. If not, Primark, Asda and Tesco have some cheap shirts, shoes etc.

I'm not sure with the shopping I know that some people on here spend less than then £75, so it's possible, but I can't do it eiter!

dancingfairy

I'm not sure but maybe people are busy getting all the kids/family sorted for the week ahead?
it might be worth bumping the thread up with a post in the morning so the day time people will see it.
I don't normally come on here on a sunday night so maybe it's a bit quiet?

df

dancingfairy

Work might pay for the cost of the season ticket and deduct it from your wages - I think this may be done before tax? so this may work out slightly cheaper for you? you would need to ask your employer though. as suggested by someone above
With regards to food - try cooking batches and freezing things, meal planning, going to supermarkets when things are reduced - try late evenings or sundays 1 hr to 1/2 hr before closing for cheap things. Maybe you have a market which could help save a bit on fruit and veg?
But also check out the moneysaving oldstyle board as suggested above.
df

dancingfairy

Do you have any friends that could pass clothes on to you that they no longer want/need - this might be easier if they were from the same community as you (less embarassing ) and knew just how hard things are right now?
Have you looked around to see if your wage is about right for an apprenticeship? perhaps if it is low in comparison you could ask for a small raise?
Someelse suggested overtime at your work?
df

DFWANNABE_3

Thanks for the replies guys!

DF: I will look into the survey thing and volunteering as well, maybe call one of the immigration charties and find out the exact restrictions.

Rather than default, wouldn't it be better to re-finance the loan (provided I can get re-finance) to say 2 years? I would hate to default now when I have been paying every single penny on time for the last 2 years. Or would re-financing be a stupid thing to do?

Are the charities not under resourced and over stretched? I mean are there not people who need the service more than I do? I would hate to be taking away food which could help some who really needs it.

I am from Kenya so not that many people who can help but I will keep my eyes and ears open.

I will also be bumping up the thread in the morning before going to work.

PP: Unfortunately I can't take on a second job due to visa restrictions but will look into it.

I will be going over to OS board for some inspiration.

I am currently looking into finding a way to cycle to a station in zone 6 which should help me save some much needed £££ but it's really difficult in terms of cycling without breaking sweat! And despite what sure men would like you to think it really doesn't keep you dry:rotfl::rotfl:. It's particularly difficult turning up to work all sweaty and smelly (small firm so no showers) and having to deal with clients.

MG: I will try asking again about the season ticket loan, now that I have been there for a while they might be a bit more sympathetic.

Tried the saving / prior engagement thing, and the guys I work with are great they understand my situation but they can not help but feel sorry / pity for me and insist I go and that they will pay for it. What I need is a little break not pity! So I tend to go and pay for a pint of lemonade or if feeling particularly flush a pint of beer which lasts me the whole evening.

Can't ask my mom, she barely makes ends meet. Pretty soon I will have to send money home (not till I am done though)

Thanks for the helpful suggestions!

DFWANNABE_3

dancingfairy wrote: »

Do you have any friends that could pass clothes on to you that they no longer want/need - this might be easier if they were from the same community as you (less embarassing ) and knew just how hard things are right now?
Have you looked around to see if your wage is about right for an apprenticeship? perhaps if it is low in comparison you could ask for a small raise?
Someelse suggested overtime at your work?
df

Few Kenyan friends that I do have are in a similar position to me or worse and I am very freaked out about second hand clothes after getting scabies (I would rather wear torn / worn out clothes than secondhand if it makes sense?)

No overtime and the pay is just under the market rate as the firm had to pay for the visa etc. The pay includes all the hours under the sun and sometimes under the moon. Thought slavery ended a few years back!?! :rotfl::rotfl:I am just kidding, I love my job and the place I am working. They all treat me very well and despite my moaning it's really not that bad. Though at times I do feel I could do with a better pay but that's life. Only 1 more year and then I will be bringing in the dough £££