NOTICE TO NEWCOMERS - Part 7 !!!!!!!

never-in-doubt

never-in-doubt wrote: »

Excuse me when two men get together it is not called a date, its more of a bonding session ok? :rotfl: :rotfl:

............... and NO Handy - that does not say bondage session! :rotfl:

3Dogs

never-in-doubt wrote: »

Excuse me when two men get together it is not called a date, its more of a bonding session ok? :rotfl: :rotfl:

never-in-doubt wrote: »

............... and NO Handy - that does not say bondage session! :rotfl:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: freudian slip??

never-in-doubt

3Dogs wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: freudian slip??

quite possibly or more an oxymoron..... :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

3Dogs

never-in-doubt wrote: »

quite possibly or more an oxymoron..... :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Had to google that one !!!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

handyman123_2

Hey 3Dogs when Niddy, Maggot and me get together we're coming to take you and OH for a beer as well:beer::beer:
Maggots from Lakenheath not a million mile from wisbeach. Tho he now lives up on the east coast of jockland.

Anyway Bonding, bondage we're all guy's toghether. (i did think of doing a strike thru).

Maggot and me once went for a sail on the ullswater ferry, we ended up getting sea sick! (pished). The Barman, nice fellow heard Maggot say he'd been in the Merchant Navy. When I went to get the next round, he asked me was you friend really in the navy. I said yes and he wants to know what time we splice the cabin boy!

He said OOOh I used to be a cabin boy, tell your mate I get off work a 8. We ended up swimming ashore.

See you in a minute, cheers handy.

handyman123_2

To all my mates on NTW, You obviously liked last nights story about Dip and Dazzle, well here’s another quick one. In the Army if some old soldier begins to tell a war story, those around him say pull up a sandbag and swing a lantern someone, help him to feel he’s back in the trenches. So here goes, Pull up a sandbag.:)

When Handy was stationed with the his Royal Engineers Field Squadron at an Airfield in Lincolnshire, we helped the RAF with their Air Display day. Now the public may not know this but after an Air Show, the whole station becomes a party zone. Each section has its own bar and BB-Q, and generally during the evening some form of riot breaks out. Now this particular evening went off reasonably quietly.
The only disturbance of the night was a French pilot caught in the Lady’s loo, on his back with his head under the bott
om of the doors to get a better look at the occupant of the trap.:eek:

Handy drew the short straw and ended up as Duty Barman at our squadrons own watering hole (punishment for past crimes). The Duty Barman was supposed to remain sober, but as it happened the Engineers are a generous lot and Handy was bought a fair few beers.
The party wound up around 2am, Handy cashed up and headed for his bed.
Around 3.30 I was woken by a hammering on my room door, “H come on get up we’re on”. Pish off I’m Knockered, I said as I rolled over. “No Duff”* said the voice, “We’re up its an E.O.D.* in the ladies in the N.A.A F.I*
“****** @@@ *****!” I said where’s the RAF’s E.O.D. team
“They went to a party and no ones fit for duty“. “Anonymous call to the guard room, saying they had planted a bomb.”
“KC wants you”.

Now KC or Keith Collins was our troop officer, ex regular army who finished a Sergeant Major and then came back into the T.A’s as a Captain. Our Troop was known as KC’s sunshine band after the 80’s group KC and the Sunshine Band. It turned out that someone in their wisdom thought that as I had been on duty I would be sober enough to help!

5 minutes later and by this time I was stone cold sober, its amazing what a little adrenalin will do to the system ( I find adrenalin is brown and runs down your legs).

I met KC at the door to the Ladies, we tossed a coin to see who would go first, Handy lost, I’m sure it was double sided. 5 minutes later I found something tucked down the back of a radiator.
“Its right down at the bottom, Its stuck tight, Small package, cylindrical and I can see a string, Probably an anti handling device or booby trap”.
“Right” said KC we’ll have to remove the radiator to get to it.

An hour later and the radiator was off the wall, (it must have been the slowest plumbing job in the world) and all was revealed. We were the first team in the history of bomb disposal to defuse a packet of Tampax!

* No Duff = Not Pishing about this is real.
* Explosive Ordinance Device = Bomb.
N.A.A F.I. = Navy, Army, Air Force, Institute, or all ranks club.
Women’s Royal Air Force.
Please note that I have the utmost respect for the work our lad’s are doing at the moment. :A I only got a taste of what the real thing could be like.

As a postscript handy later phoned the duty Sergeant at the female quarters, said I was Air Traffic control and could she go round the rooms asking the WRAFF’s* to turn off all marital aids as it was causing interference on the ground radar system.:rotfl::rotfl:

Hope you like my little tale, regards to all, handy.

3Dogs

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Your brain must be overloaded with all your stories Handy - ah, that explains a lot then

solventsoon

Handy, you should write a book, it would be priceless....

Hope Mrs H is getting over her op now?

Sorry to you and 3Dogs, not been ignoring you this evening, been busy sorting out the new NSD thread and tying up the ends on June's thread...

Hope you're both OK?

3Dogs

That's it for me - early start in the morning (:eek:) so I'm off to my bed now

Nite Nite Handy & Niddy and Spoon as well as I'm sure she is still out there



Edit: and speak of the devil!!!!!

handyman123_2

Hi 3Dogs I have found something that keeps me going during the day, as I'm working I keep thinking of what can I tell them tonight?
It's easy to say it, you have to work at putting it down in words.

Just think of me as the MSE Jester, if someone is feeling low, I hope I can cheer them up. If not a virtual rotten tomatoe doesn't hurt as much when it gets trown at you.

When I was a Bluecoat @ 1 1/2 centuries ago, I had to introduce Jim Davidson. For the Occasion, I wore my best yelow jacket, white trousers, black shirt, gold lame tie.

I gave him a super build up, Ladees and Gentlemeeeens, for one night only the cokney king of comedee Mr Nick Nick himself, its Jim davidson.

He came on stage, the first words he said was the handy's a nice chap, shame he looks like an F********g colour negative!:rotfl::rotfl:

Well its goodnight from me, I promised Mrs Handy I would keep away from MSE tonight!:mad:

See you all tomorrow XXX handy.