Sister and Dad problems, stuck in the middle!

Wkdwill

After my mum and dad split up my brother and sister stopped speaking to my dad, understandably tbh as he wasn't a great dad, then 4 years ago when my sister got out of control my mum asked him to come help, all was well sister started talking to him again, mind you the £30 a week for going to school probably helped!, anyway whenever my dad doesn't throw money at her, or when he was working and didnt have time to text/call, his name would be muck, then a few months back he got ill and had to leave work, couldn't afford his mobile bill, hence couldn't send texts, make calls etc, now hes muck again, she removed him as a friend from FB etc.

Now last week he received his inheritence from his dad, as soon as she heard I had been given £500 (with conditions attached I might add) shes sending him nasty texts, saying he should act like a dad etc, saying she cant afford to stay at college, bearing in mind she has no part time job or anything.

Then today I get this message from her
Right if my dad says anything else to do with me.
TELL ME! because im getting so p*ssed off now.
He has no right to do what he's doing.
And if you don't. Then don't you think thats selfish?

All my dad has said to me is telling me the texts she has sent him, and then he hasn't gone no about it.

I just feel like telling my sister to grow up, stop being childish, get a job and help herself through college like most other students do and stop expecting everyone else to support her, she lives off my mum and some £30 student benefit thing she gets and now because my mum cant pay for college she thinks my dad should, even though the last time she went to see him was when he had bought her a laptop, 18 months ago.

Im just fed up of being whinged at all the time, I have told my sister before I want nothing to do with it but when I do my mum gets all defensive for her, the sun shines out of her backside and all that.

Just looking for some advice really.

Sorry for such a long post and if you got this far, well done.

cloverfan

if it makes you feel any better your not alone.....today my mum called me worrying how my younger sister (30 mind you! altho she is disabled) is going to be upset on fathers day as she found it upsetting with cards in the shops as dad passed away in november and not once did it cross her mind that i might also be getting upset too.....my advice to you would be to leave them to it and stay out of it. worry about your own relationships with them and whateva they want to say/do to each other just tell them you dont want to know. hope you feel better bout things soon.

Zazen999

You need to learn a few stock phrases.

'Whatever' works in this instance.

'In what context' works when they are whingeing at you directly.

'Hmm, never mind dear/that's dreadful dear/ooh really dear' can be thrown in when you lose the will to live.

'Oh my, do you fancy a brew? Come and have a look at my garden'....is a good subject closer.

neneromanova

Tell her the new government is planning on taking the EMA away so she won't be getting £30 a week anymore so to get off her lazy bum and join the real world.



Also tell your dad that he shouldn't have to buy her love as that's what he seems to be doing.

Oldernotwiser

Wkdwill wrote: »

I just feel like telling my sister to grow up, stop being childish, get a job and help herself through college like most other students do and stop expecting everyone else to support her, she lives off my mum and some £30 student benefit thing she gets and now because my mum cant pay for college she thinks my dad should, even though the last time she went to see him was when he had bought her a laptop, 18 months ago.


.

I don't understand what you mean about paying for college. If she already gets EMA and is still considered to be a dependent child, what else is she expecting to be paid for?

McKneff

if you feel like telling her to grow up etc. etc. etc. why dont you just do so.
Sounds like the spoiled brat needs a good telling, to be honest.

elsien

And if they say anything about each other to you, tell them both that you don't want to hear it, it's nothing to do with you, and if they have anything to say to each other they can do it themselves. Then firmly change the subject and refuse to get drawn back in again.
Works for me.

Wkdwill

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I don't understand what you mean about paying for college. If she already gets EMA and is still considered to be a dependent child, what else is she expecting to be paid for?

You see I didnt understand this either, but according to my mum and sister she only gets the first year free and has to pay for the following 2 years and this is at Leeds Art and Design College.

Maybe they are making it up to try and get some money out of my dad, I dont know.

Wkdwill

Thanks for all the replies, I had it out with my mum this morning and told her that I want nothing further to do with any conversation regarding my dad and that if my sister sends any more messages to me about him or insinuating that im selfish for not telling HER what he says then I shall put her in her place as ive had enough of everyone p*ssy footing around her.

Ive also spoken to my dad and told him that although I understand he is her dad and wants to be in her life but right now it would probably be best to leave her to it, as she even threatened him yesterday, telling him to watch his back etc, calling him a stalker because he said he had seen my mum twice in the local shopping centre, all very childish behaviour.

Thanks again.