addictive personality

h0ney

I am in trouble. I don't even know how much debt i am in. Approx a £1500 overdraft, a 15,000 loan, I owe my dad arond 10,000 as well as about 12000 in student loans. I am a sigle mother and have less than zero chance of paying this off. I do not know what to do. Myparents don not know either, they have just bought a cottage for me and mybaby but are expecting me to get a mortgage to psy them =back at the end of te year but they don't know that i have about as much chance of getting credit as a squirrel. am suicidal.

CarolnMalky

Think the best thing could be for you to call citizens advice, and they will advise you as what to do next.
Dont be suicidal babe.

cathybird

hi honey - there aren't so many people around at this time of night so you may not get many replies till tomorrow, but there are loads of people on this website who can help you with useful ideas. my two bobs' worth are that at least you have parents who've been prepared to support you by buying you somewhere to live (even if they don't yet know about your debts) and that once you've worked out what your debts are you will be able to come up with some sort of plan. it might take you years but there's bound to be something you can do. please don't panic or feel you're alone in the universe with this. there's help out there - really there is. there are things you'll be able to do. look again tomorrow and see what people suggest. be strong! you'll work it out.

smilermonkey

citizens advice bureau babe, they are lovely! I was really worried about going to them but they were so nice. They have seen it before (and much much worse) and helped with a plan. It was just what I needed, someone to be clear headed and practical without making judgements.

WelshWoofer

I have no advice really as I'm not an expert but just wanted to give you a bit of support. You may feel very alone but remember that there are always loads of people here to talk to if you need a bit of virtual propping up. I know its really hard but try talking to your parents - it's never as bad as you think it will be.
I'm home all day so if you just want a chat feel free to PM me.
Take care - there's always a way out. Think of your lovely baby and try to remember that there will be a solution even if you can't see it now.
Rachel xx

tyllwyd

You've done the first thing by admitting to yourself that you are in trouble.
Have you sat down and gone through your papers and worked out exactly what your financial situation is?

I think you should talk to your parents and explain to them how things are. You already owe them a lot of money and you have let them buy you somewhere to live, so it is only fair to tell them the truth. Then hopefully they can help you to make a plan. If you don't tell them, it might be that they are relying on your money from the mortgage, and you could leave them in a much worse situation if you drop a bombshell on them later on.

Don't panic - things will get easier as your baby grows up, so hang on in there for now and I'm sure it will look better soon.

james32_uk

H0ney, your debts arent rediculously huge and certainly not enough to make a morgage an impossibility. Are you working? If so they you can still apply for a morgage and if not then your parents know you wont be able to get one yet.

Chin up - let us know how you're getting on

abbecer

Just want to send you hugs and kisses. There are many people who will help you, don't have any silly thoughts. I've been suicidal myself but for different reasons, things do really get better. Remember your beautiful baby and your future together. Speak to your mum and dad i'm sure they will help you through it if they can.

Rebecca x

calleyw

It is very hard and lonely in the wee hours. And lots of us are normally asleep.

But there are two things

1) suicide is NOT the answer. You will be leaving behind a child. Would you want to a put a child through that. I think you really need to talk to someone about these thoughts. Please book an appointment with your Dr now.

2) Not easy but you need to come clean with you parents. Yes they feel let down etc. But it is better now then waiting and waiting and them saying when are we going to get the money.

There are many people here who can and will help. I suggest talking to some to the likes of CCCS and payplan they are there to help links at the top of the page. You don't say your income. But would suspect unless you are earning £40/£50K you may well not find it easy to get a mortgage as you have £15K of loan debt. Not sure they will take in to account student loans as not sure.

Life is worth soo much more than money. As that is all it is money.

I wish you all the best. Also please post a Statement of Affairs and we will see if we can help you.


All the best.


Yours


Calley

mrs_mug_2

I hope you are feeling less alone today. There are plenty of us that have felt like you do now, but I promise there is a way out (and I don't mean suicide).

We've got £15k of debt and a bit more infact (a car on hp that we consider a bill as the set up suits us and a secured loan that we aren't even thinking about yet until the £15k is cleared). We've got a mortgage so it is possible.

Anyway, post your SOA and I'm sure you'll get some help. Things will seem much more bearable with a plan in place. And hopefully a plan and a definate end date will make telling your parents much easier.

You can do it, you aren't alone.

pms

HI h0ney

Please tell your parents, I have been struggling for months about telling mine about my debt and finally did it a few days ago thanks to encouragement from people here on this board.

YES they went totally mad at I me, I think mainly because I have hidden it for so long BUT they have sat down with my and helped me out as best they can. I'm sure your parents will be the same and try to help you out any way they can.

As others have said please don't even think of sucide you have a child to look after and I'm sure he/she would rather grow up with a mum in debt but trying to sort herself out than one who they did not get to know.

Good Luck and Take Care