24 become single mum with mortgage & scared

lambo_3

EdInvestor wrote:

I can't see you getting anywhere unless at least one of you gets a full time job with a reasonable income.

If he's a hands-on Dad, how about you get the job, and pay him/his mum a bit of money for childcare? Normally,he'd be paying you maintenance, after all.

I see where you are coming from with that piece of advice but i am starting a job three days a week as an unqualified teacher, the other two days i will be at home with my little one. My ex does work full time but alas no income at present but i am not the one to tell him to jack it in now that we have seperated. If he worked less hours, paying him childcare for my daughter would be a wonderful option

lambo_3

missk_ensington wrote:

Lambo- Don't worry it can be done! Are you working 16 hours a week to enable you to receive the Working element to tax cred?

Miss k, i am unsure what to do about this as i will be working 2 days one week and three days the next. Im in a position where i can claim i m working 16 hours or 15 as they will take an average. I am not sure which to put down as i am unsure of which would provide me with more benefits - 16 hours will give me the working tax element but ive been told by stating 15hrs you wont get that but more in child tax. Ive been told the latter is the best option but im not sure. Do you know?

missk_ensington

That isn;t true, if you put 15 hours you will lose about £60+ a week. In my personal opinion I would put 16, as inevitably over the year you are likely to do a few extra hours at exam time or covering for people or after schools clubs etc, and in any event there is no system for checking how many hours you do as your P60 has earnings only.

Neither is there any point your ex doing the childcare bit, as they pay for it anyway up to 85% and I think being at a nursery 3 days with other children, interacting and learning new skills is better than sat at home with Dad

lambo_3

thanks miss k - really helpful stuff - ive been misinformed. Im filling my form in now - horrible things

hilstep2000

I became a single mum at 41. I ttok over our mortgage. I re-mortgaged with the same company (Northern Rock) they were really ggod, looked at my Tax Credit (£6000)and wages (£9000) and gave me a new mortgage without any trouble. I was able to prove that I was not overdrawn and had a good deal from them.
Don't forget to get in touch with the Council and tell them you're on your own, that entitles you to 25% off your council tax bill straight away. Find out about Tax Credits, and housing and council tax benefit too. Put in for it, they'll tell you if you can't have it quick enough!
You will be entitled to Childcare costs if you get Tax Credit too.
Don't worry love, there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I'm sure you've done the right thing by your daughter, she'll be a happy little girl now, and there are lots of us single mums out here coping really well!
All the best to you.

TallGirl

I think you should put this post of the Debt Free Wannabe Board they will get you to write down your income, expenses and list your debts and they will look at what can be done as a whole. I also think the CAB is the best place but make sure you take all the information with you. It is better to act now than when all the creditors start getting on your back. Bit of advice though it may take a lot longer than you think to reach your goal so think baby steps and you will do it.

MortgageMamma

Hi Lambo - just a few things, I've noticed none of the other mortgage advisors have touched this yet - they must be busy, so I'd like to offer to help you (on the forum, and without personal gain -for those of you who will accuse me of fishing for business which I do not need!)

First of all a big thankyou to Miss_Kensington for her helpful advice, and I can honestly say knowing her like I do she knows what she is talking about!

What I think you need now Lambo, is a little bit of breathing space for the weekend to collect your thoughts and play with your little one. Its nice that you are racking your brains trying to find a fair way to deal with the finances with your ex-partner, it shows you still care. I broke up from my first hubby in 1998 with a 18 month old for the same reason, no love. You will get through it. Good luck in your new teaching position by the way.

In order to help you I need to ask you rather a lot of questions, I will try and keep them to a minimum but here goes

Can you tell me what you will be earning from your new job?

What do you get from your self employed earnings?

Can you estimate how much you will get from WFTC?

I notice your current mortgage is £59k plus 20k of debts, what type of debts are these? Credit cards? unsecured loans? secured loans? hire purchase? car loans?

How long are you tied into your current mortgage and how much will it cost to leave?

I am a little confused as to what you said you wanted to do re the ex - were you going to remortgage to pay off all the debts so he could start fresh or were you planning on giving him some cash?

lambo_3

Hi Thankyou for all of the support above - really making me feel more positive. With regards to tax credits, council tax etc. i feel im pretty well up on all that now and on my way to getting help. Thankyou mortgage mama for coming on board to help me out. I am going to go to bed now, try and sleep peacefully and have already packed me and my little one (who is keeping me sane at the moment ) a swimming bag each as we are going to have a nice fun packed day tomorrow (on the cheap of course!) and then when she goes to bed tomorrow night i will type out all over the questions you asked..really excited to get a bit of advice from people who obviuosly know a bit more than i do..thankyou, thankyou, thankyou

MortgageMamma

Hi Lambo

Sounds like you are feeling better already, hope you have had a good day with your little one, I took my two (2&4) shopping for new clothes today (was a nightmare) and the wheel fell of my pushchair in the middle of skipton - I was so embarassed!!:rotfl:

I won't be around tonight as having a rare night out with the mortgagedaddy, but I will look at your post asap and try and help

Kind regards

MM

waterbaby

missk_ensington wrote:

It was particularly bad for me because I'd moved 70 miles away from my family to live with my partner, and so by not backing out of the sale I had to stay in that town by myself. I went to the pub by myself, knocked on neighbours doors.... (luckily the pub is only next door!) and now 4 months later I'm going to a wedding in Stoke at weekend with my new friends! Have a whole new life, and 4 months ago I was miserable and stressed and begging doc to give me some prozac!

I am SO impressed by this! I hope that I can be so courageous, if the need ever arises.