Help me to help my housemate

SueC_2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

If you're happy with the situation, I would just leave him to it. The more information you give, the more it sounds as if he has no interest whatsoever in working so I wouldn't waste your valuable free time.

Be thankful he's just a friend and not a partner!

Cross-posted. Great minds think alike, again!

Owain_Moneysaver

You could suggest he go back to the career service at his university - most will help their fairly recent graduates, not just current students.

NGlady

I dont have time to read all this so it may have been covered all ready - sorry if it has.
But has he honestly considered call centre work. I know, I know, call centres blah. But, some companies offer relatively good pay, a niceish working envrionment with good people to work with. It need only be short-term to get some pennies in the bank, but often with these positions they are quite "flexible friend" so he would have opportunity to maybe study for some more qualifications. Another benefit is, is it still 15k before you pay loans etc back? Well normally there just shy of the 15k, so he wouldnt be struggling with a lowish wage and student loan debt.

I know its not ideal especially to a graduate, but the interviewing process is normally fairly easy, and I think they would be keen on a inteligent human being in their organization There is also lots of space for career progression....

Also.. I know he's shy, so am I .. but I didnt find it too bad when I started working in one, and ive progressed in them and im not at all shy on the phone now

Also... and my friend hated this when she had to do it - maybe he needs to loose the degree from the CV for certain positions? :S

AnxiousMum

Owain_Moneysaver wrote: »

You could suggest he go back to the career service at his university - most will help their fairly recent graduates, not just current students.

Depending which university it is, four out of the five that we have just done open days with this year, specifically mentioned that they offer career advice and assistance to all alumni throughout their working days.

BLT_2

marisa wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the replies.

I have suggested agencies but he says he went and they had no work, and last time he had a bad exp with them. Short of holding his hand and taking him to them (i work full time anyway) I have pushed the issue all I can here

He does sometimes act like he is happy with the situation, agreed, but it seems more resided to it than happy if you get what I mean. Very much he wants a job, but thinks he won't get one no matter what, so what is the point in trying too much? This is not how I see it at all, but it is near impossible to change someons views I think, so just trying to help best I can within this.

It doesn't matter to me if he gets a job or not, housing benefit covers his half of the rent, dole covers the bills, house gets tidies (sometimes) while I'm at work, I just wanna help him!
Everyone says to me it is the age old problem of you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves, but I want to believe the best in him and his intentions I guess.

Thanks so much for all the info saying he can work up to 16hours a week and still get benefits/ voluntary probs won't effect, because this is not what he told me at all, as I have never been on benefits I couldn't say for sure myself either way.

The C.V type is just one page, that lists qualifications, then underneath the job he had once, then under that some information on skills gained while at Uni, personality etc.

He did the degree because he likes History, no further thought went into it as far as I can tell, and as far as jobs goes he thinks they will all be uninteresting so anything will do.

He is not posting on here, because it was my idea and I am a member of the forums and more of an internetty-person I guess. He wouldn't know what to say, and maybe would be embarrassed or something (he might be anyway if he reads this I guess!) He probably just thinks it is as pointless as everything else though!


As for the local area thing, they did want a waiter at a local takeaway, i told him about it and even took the number down but he never got around to it (phone-shy, very rarely calls for jobs likes to just email cv)
Most of the takeaways round here are family run businesses and as much as he says he will do anything, I think he does feel overqualified for some stuff, and a lot of places will also reject those with degrees for taking jobs from those who don't.

I may be cynic but I suspect that he doesn't really want to work. To state that temp firms have no work is beyond belief, I still get emails 5 months after I entered the job market for the first time in 30 years, asking me if I am interested, and I have no enormous skills set to offer, just enthusiasm and a willingness to work.

As for feeling that he is overqualified for jobs, in essence he has a history degree (who doesn't) and no real job experience. A history degree is about as much use as a cat flap in a lion enclosure. I have one I acquired through the OU, you would be amazed at how little use it was when I applied for management jobs at BP :rotfl:

I suspect the underlying cause is that he is inherently lazy (you mention that he seems happy with his lot much of the time), he certainly doesn't seem to feel overqualified to live off of the taxpayer

Tell the lazy bum to get off of his !!! and take a job waitering, sweeping or bin emptying if he has to, the world doesn't owe him a living.

bodmil

Having a degree doesn't mean one has a right to a job. It sounds like he expects the jobs to come to him; it just doesn't work like that. You can't be motivated for him. If he were my friendI'd be pretty furious with his countless excuses and attitude, well done for remaining positive about it but I don't see it changing him.

marisa

BLT wrote: »

To state that temp firms have no work is beyond belief, I still get emails 5 months after I entered the job market for the first time in 30 years, asking me if I am interested, and I have no enormous skills set to offer, just enthusiasm and a willingness to work.

I suspect the underlying cause is that he is inherently lazy (you mention that he seems happy with his lot much of the time), he certainly doesn't seem to feel overqualified to live off of the taxpayer

Tell the lazy bum to get off of his !!! and take a job waitering, sweeping or bin emptying if he has to, the world doesn't owe him a living.

Well he said the temp firms have no work for him with no experience, I guess I would believe that, if the job-before-last I got through an agency wasn't full of school leavers first time job too...
Enthusiasm, yeah guess he doesn't have much of that really...

I have tried the harsh approach, and he gets really upset when anyone suggests he is lazy, saying he is trying his best, then gets really stressed out. You get past being frustrated and shouting "get a job you lazy bum the world doesn't owe you a thing!" eventually and just want to do anything you can to help, to change the rut he's got stuck in I guess.

Don't get me wrong, on first realisation of his situation I tried debating why he thinks the world owes him a living, how he expects to get a job when all signs point to his attitude not wanting one, and everything else raised here. None of it got through, just led to lots of arguments, and it is one of my best mates I have to live with, so I hate arguing, and I'm not his mother so not my place to nag hehe!

Seems here everyone has similar ideas to me, and I am not just being really harsh when I get frustrated and say it is all his own fault!

bristol_pilot

When the winter comes, he will be in the house all day racking up the gas bill while the other housemates are all out at work. His share may be covered by benefits but yours will not. You just can't help people who don't want to be helped (although I agree that agencies only want people with experience), but on the other hand workers and non-workers in a houseshare often doesn't last long. I'd start looking for another housemate.

marisa

bristol_pilot wrote: »

When the winter comes, he will be in the house all day racking up the gas bill while the other housemates are all out at work. His share may be covered by benefits but yours will not. You just can't help people who don't want to be helped (although I agree that agencies only want people with experience), but on the other hand workers and non-workers in a houseshare often doesn't last long. I'd start looking for another housemate.

signed a 12month contract and it is just the two of us,
as regards gas/electric bill while I am out, I never thought of that, but he doesn't like it warm and sleeps a bit during the day sometimes so hopefully it won't be too bad.
Although yet another reason for me to want him to get a job I guess!

matt10001

Hey BLT sorry to take over this thread but what temping agencies do you use?