How Much Is Enough?

chuckalicious_2

My wife and I are considering having our first child.

At present we both have good salaries and a hefty mortgage. We both have very strong feelings regarding bringing up children and want to have one of us at home to bring up the child until it goes to school (and then possibly after, depending on finances).

As my wife has a higher earning potential than I do, and is more career orientated, we feel it makes sense for me to become a stay at home dad after her maternity leave is finished.

Looking at our bills and monthly outgoings, after everything was paid for, we'd have £500 left per month for food, commute to work for my wife, and anything else required, ie nappies etc. This is of course assuming I wasn't working and was a stay at home dad.

Thankfully we have just come into a bit of money, which would enable us to top up this monthly amount to £1000 per month, which would last approx 4 years at this rate.

I know it's kind of an impossible question, but I'll ask anyway - should that be enough, in general, minus surprises (of which there will be some, I know), to bring up a healthy happy child? As there would be no childcare costs I want to know if I'm forgetting anything!

If/when I leave work, it's assumed that I'd start doing something when the child went to school to bring in some extra income after that lump sum ran out, but it'd never be as much as I earn now.

Thanks!

dgl1001

chuckalicious wrote: »

My wife and I are considering having our first child.

At present we both have good salaries and a hefty mortgage. We both have very strong feelings regarding bringing up children and want to have one of us at home to bring up the child until it goes to school (and then possibly after, depending on finances).

As my wife has a higher earning potential than I do, and is more career orientated, we feel it makes sense for me to become a stay at home dad after her maternity leave is finished.

Looking at our bills and monthly outgoings, after everything was paid for, we'd have £500 left per month for food, commute to work for my wife, and anything else required, ie nappies etc. This is of course assuming I wasn't working and was a stay at home dad.

Thankfully we have just come into a bit of money, which would enable us to top up this monthly amount to £1000 per month, which would last approx 4 years at this rate.

I know it's kind of an impossible question, but I'll ask anyway - should that be enough, in general, minus surprises (of which there will be some, I know), to bring up a healthy happy child? As there would be no childcare costs I want to know if I'm forgetting anything!

If/when I leave work, it's assumed that I'd start doing something when the child went to school to bring in some extra income after that lump sum ran out, but it'd never be as much as I earn now.

Thanks!

A few thoughts:

• I don't understand your outgoings but 1k per should do it
• have you factored interest rate rises in the future
• while don't you reduce your mortgage and debt with the windfall
• How can i put this next point - children need as much stimulation as possible including the vitally important interaction with other children. Im not sure your child stopping home with you until school age will be for the best
• are you only going to have one child?

Morgan_Ree

Kids, especially babies are as expensive as you want them to be

£1000 pm left over is more than enough!!! Have you included child benefit and poss tax credits in that amount?

LEJC

Children are a wonderful thing and it brings back so many memories of how we agonised over exactly the same....situations change and how you will find yourself in five years time with or without a child will be different to how you are now.....our son is now 12 and with the luck of promotions etc I have been able to remain as the stay at home parent...far longer than the original 4 years we planned but that goes to show you cant be too regimented in your forecasts and a bit of careful planning....
Have you included child benefit/tax credits in your calculations...not a great deal...but every little helps
A child is a life changer but well worth it good luck im sure you'll manage well.

chuckalicious_2

Thanks for the reply. To answer your questions

1. No, hadn't factored in interest rate rises. Is it even possible to plan for something like that?
2. The difference in monthly payments this sum would make to the mortgage has nowhere near the effect of using it as a monthly supplement.
3. The child wouldn't be locked in the house Of course it would mix with other children at playgroups etc - the point of me staying at home would be to avoid the worry and cost of paid organised full time childcare. I don't want to pay someone else to bring up my child.
4. Not something I can really answer. Initially I'd say no, but I have no idea how I'll feel in a couple of years time.

chuckalicious_2

Morgan_Ree wrote: »

Have you included child benefit and poss tax credits in that amount?

I haven't included child benefit - and I don't think we're eligble for more than about £90 per month in tax credits.

chuckalicious_2

LEJC wrote: »

I have been able to remain as the stay at home parent...

With regards to that, and the initial reply to my post - how did you ensure you child got stimulation from other children? did you send them to other care services or did you just ensure lots of time was spent with other stay at home parents and their children in free organised groups?

Morgan_Ree

chuckalicious wrote: »

With regards to that, and the initial reply to my post - how did you ensure you child got stimulation from other children? did you send them to other care services or did you just ensure lots of time was spent with other stay at home parents and their children in free organised groups?

Can you honestly see yourself enjoying going to those mother(father!) and tot type groups?

Don't forget as well at the age of 3 your kid will get 15 or 16 hours (cant remember which) of free childcare

onlyroz

Child benefit (somewhere in the region of £80 a month) is plenty to cover food, milk, nappies etc. And £500+ a month "spare" seems like plenty to me.

DigitalJedi

Good god. lol

I don't have £1000 pcm after bills free and I have three kids so I will say that you'll be fine.

However, it all depends on what sort of lifestyle you wish to lead.

If you want to live fairly sensibly. Shop at Tesco's, drive a 2nd hand car and one holiday a year to the med then fine. But if you both expect a lifestyle where M&S food is the norm, you want several foreign holidays a year and Mama's & Pappa's matching pram/car seat/cot/nappy wipes then perhaps not.

LEJC

There are lots of ways you meet like minded peopleduring the whole process of having children...im still very close to many of the other parents who were at anti natal classes etc...we used to meet up weekly,take the children to the park,swimming,soft play even eachothers houses....the list is endless....and to be honest your child will get whatever stimulation you can give it via interaction and toys etc...i have never felt I SHUT MY CHILD AWAY....
You come across as a very sensible person and Im sure you will find the stimulation your child requires
With regard to interest rates etc....we would all love to predict what would happen....all i can say is you are planning in the right direction to secure a child a great upbringing