ESA appeal - can it force Social Services to help?

Gloom

I've got an ESA Appeal this week and frankly expect to lose. I could sit down I'm sure and get more than 3 points I had from the assessment but once you're in the spider's web of ineptitude (or possibly deception as they want jobs) there's only so much struggling you can do. What I was wondering was whether an Appeal, win or lose, can influence/instruct our borough's Social Services who I blame for creating excessive stress within the family which led to my taking up my doctor's suggestion to apply for ESA.

Unfortunately we have a possibly gifted daughter (almost 16) who has been diagnosed with ADHD with violent behavioural characteristics. Nothing suitable has been provided for her by SS (or any other party) and her risk-taking presents a real danger to herself and others. My wife and I are totally exhausted by both her and SS who are determined not to provide / reveal "appropriate" support unless she gets a criminal record. The fact she's violent towards all family members including her younger brother (12) seems totally acceptable to SS who complain she doesn't "engage" with what they're prepared to offer (like diesel cars with petrol).

I'm so wound up by the stress and encouraging the rest of the family to avoiding confrontation that I fear I'd overreact in other situations, and goodness knows there's enough when you are on benefits trying to find work. To let you know how helpful our SS are, they're not even prepared to describe my situation at the time of the ATOS assessment, stating my request to them has been passed to the borough's legal department, and that took them over 6 months.

I wondered what advice others have in the circumstances described.

dmg24

I am not sure of the connection you are making between SS and your ESA appeal? Who and what is the ESA for?

NASA_2

No, the Tribunal service cannot compel Social Services to appear at your appeal hearing, and given the what you are saying about them I am not sure why they (Or you) would think its a good idea.

[Deleted User]

What help exactly do you want or expect from Social Services for your daughter?
She is not at risk of harm & bar putting up with her swings nobody is at harm from her. As parents it is our job to deal with our children, which includes the highs & lows. It is not the job of the CYPD to step in and be proxy parent to each young person a parent finds difficult.

Also If SS have no involvement with her they of course would be unable to assist with a report to assist with your benefits because they only have 'facts' you have given them and not information they have observed or assessed!

munchings-n-crunchings

I think you may be searching for something that doesn't exist, and you probably wouldn't want it, if it did.

Over a two year period, I tried to get help from Social Services, as my autistic son was violent, aggressive, destructive of property and refusing to attend school. I felt my reaction to him was on the verge of crossing the line for what is acceptable for a parent in my dealings with him, so turned to SS.
As they felt he was not at risk of harm, there was no help available.

After he received a criminal record, there was still no support, and it resulted in my son attending the youth offending service for 12 months. Not much help at the time, but as he is still on the straight and narrow, maybe it did some good.

It was the youth offending service, that referred me to the Women's Aid service. It did help talking about the issues I was facing.
The advice that hit home, was that it was down to me to make the changes, and nobody else could do that. Everyone could tell me what I needed to change, but I was the one that had to do it, and then make it work. So at this point, I stopped looking for help from outside my family unit, and started making just small changes for myself. Being a single parent, trying to deal with these issues alone, is not easy, but you need to pick one problem, think about what you would like to achieve, then work out how you will get there.

It maybe, that getting education sorted will help, and there are advice organisations that can help, like The Parent Partnership or Connexions, and this may help in other areas of family life.

I still walk on egg shells, and there is lots about my son that will never change, but I think he knows that in one way or another, I am always there for him.

Regards
Munchie

Broken_hearted

SS only help themselves, if you can cope on your own keep going as contacting SS for help can throw you into a nightmare you struggle to get out of. While at the same time doing nothing to help with your day to day needs.

Have a look for support groups or charities which could help and support you.

LondonDiva

Broken_hearted wrote: »

SS only help themselves, if you can cope on your own keep going as contacting SS for help can throw you into a nightmare you struggle to get out of. While at the same time doing nothing to help with your day to day needs.

Have a look for support groups or charities which could help and support you.

If you think you need support from SS, please do continue to try to get input - however, it's telling that SS have said that your daughter 'doesn't engage' when they have tried to support, suggesting that their hands are tied if your daughter won't work with them.

If your daughter's not cooperating, speak to them to see what support is available for you, to boost your coping skills while you try to get through this.

Please ignore Broken hearted's comments re SS as she has a virulent anti reaction about anything to do with SS - which is never filtered through facts, individual circumstances or reason.

sunnyone

Gloom wrote: »

I've got an ESA Appeal this week and frankly expect to lose. I could sit down I'm sure and get more than 3 points I had from the assessment but once you're in the spider's web of ineptitude (or possibly deception as they want jobs) there's only so much struggling you can do. What I was wondering was whether an Appeal, win or lose, can influence/instruct our borough's Social Services who I blame for creating excessive stress within the family which led to my taking up my doctor's suggestion to apply for ESA.

Unfortunately we have a possibly gifted daughter (almost 16) who has been diagnosed with ADHD with violent behavioural characteristics. Nothing suitable has been provided for her by SS (or any other party) and her risk-taking presents a real danger to herself and others. My wife and I are totally exhausted by both her and SS who are determined not to provide / reveal "appropriate" support unless she gets a criminal record. The fact she's violent towards all family members including her younger brother (12) seems totally acceptable to SS who complain she doesn't "engage" with what they're prepared to offer (like diesel cars with petrol).

I'm so wound up by the stress and encouraging the rest of the family to avoiding confrontation that I fear I'd overreact in other situations, and goodness knows there's enough when you are on benefits trying to find work. To let you know how helpful our SS are, they're not even prepared to describe my situation at the time of the ATOS assessment, stating my request to them has been passed to the borough's legal department, and that took them over 6 months.

I wondered what advice others have in the circumstances described.

Have you applied for DLA for your daughter?

If you have the evidence to prove the above she would get it and you could claim carers allowance to avoid any struggles with ESA.