Family member took credit in my name...HELP!
upthatcreek
Forumite 2 Posts
Hi,
I’m in a really difficult situation and am losing all hope of anybody knowing of a solution.
I’ve contacted debt charities (including Citizen’s Advice) and FOUR solicitors but nobody is able to give me solid advice.
I’m hoping someone out there could possibly help out...
I had a nervous breakdown a few years ago in my mid 20s and moved home with my mother. We have always had a volatile relationship as she was a heavy drinker throughout my childhood. But, I was vulnerable and she agreed to house me while I recovered.
She has always run one business or another of her own and her new venture at the time wasn’t going too well.
In my fragile state she suggested I ‘help out’ with the business to keep my mind active. I agreed and was soon signing all sorts of documents I didn’t really understand but was soothed by the promise that ‘it’ll all be ok’ and ‘I’m your mother, I’d never get you into any trouble’, etc.
I eventually ended up signing documents to take out credit cards which were immediately transferred into her filing cabinet and used to buy supplies for her business.
I moved out after 2 years when Mum became aggressive towards me and I realised I was in a toxic situation which was anything but helpful towards my state of mind.
I quite literally came to my senses!
I have now run my own business for the past 2 years which is going from strength to strength however; about a year ago I started receiving letters from all sorts of companies saying I owed them money. One was from a supplier to her business saying that as a company director for her business I was liable to a £25,000 debt she had run up and they put an order on my house. I wasn’t even aware I had signed anything to become a company director!
I managed to fight them off but began to receive letters from credit cards saying I owed money.
Bemused, I did an Equifax search on myself and discovered she has run up nearly £50,000 worth of debt in my name which I cannot afford to pay back.
I am not prepared to shop her to the police. In short, I’m afraid of her and what she’ll do but also she fights dirty and if it goes to court, she’ll talk her way out of it and show I signed documents and I don’t want to argue the toss with her manipulating side that I was in no frame of mind to argue at the time. I realise to anyone that just sounds like a bad excuse to try and get out of debt.
In addition to all the credit she has used in my name, she also managed to manipulate £80,000 from the sale of my house from me.
You must be thinking 'what an idiot'...I am too, in retrospect! Mental health is a mine field. Thank God I'm thinking more clearly now.
I’ve enquired into an IVA but I really can’t stand the thought of paying off a huge amount of interest.
I’m thinking about going bankrupt and starting again. Kind of a ‘clean slate’ scenario to get it (and her) out of my life but I just don’t know what to do and neither do any of the experts I’ve approached.
I realise I’m coming across as a real victim but I was fragile and am much stronger now and able to face the truth about how to get myself back on track.
Can anyone help???
I’m in a really difficult situation and am losing all hope of anybody knowing of a solution.
I’ve contacted debt charities (including Citizen’s Advice) and FOUR solicitors but nobody is able to give me solid advice.
I’m hoping someone out there could possibly help out...
I had a nervous breakdown a few years ago in my mid 20s and moved home with my mother. We have always had a volatile relationship as she was a heavy drinker throughout my childhood. But, I was vulnerable and she agreed to house me while I recovered.
She has always run one business or another of her own and her new venture at the time wasn’t going too well.
In my fragile state she suggested I ‘help out’ with the business to keep my mind active. I agreed and was soon signing all sorts of documents I didn’t really understand but was soothed by the promise that ‘it’ll all be ok’ and ‘I’m your mother, I’d never get you into any trouble’, etc.
I eventually ended up signing documents to take out credit cards which were immediately transferred into her filing cabinet and used to buy supplies for her business.
I moved out after 2 years when Mum became aggressive towards me and I realised I was in a toxic situation which was anything but helpful towards my state of mind.
I quite literally came to my senses!
I have now run my own business for the past 2 years which is going from strength to strength however; about a year ago I started receiving letters from all sorts of companies saying I owed them money. One was from a supplier to her business saying that as a company director for her business I was liable to a £25,000 debt she had run up and they put an order on my house. I wasn’t even aware I had signed anything to become a company director!
I managed to fight them off but began to receive letters from credit cards saying I owed money.
Bemused, I did an Equifax search on myself and discovered she has run up nearly £50,000 worth of debt in my name which I cannot afford to pay back.
I am not prepared to shop her to the police. In short, I’m afraid of her and what she’ll do but also she fights dirty and if it goes to court, she’ll talk her way out of it and show I signed documents and I don’t want to argue the toss with her manipulating side that I was in no frame of mind to argue at the time. I realise to anyone that just sounds like a bad excuse to try and get out of debt.
In addition to all the credit she has used in my name, she also managed to manipulate £80,000 from the sale of my house from me.
You must be thinking 'what an idiot'...I am too, in retrospect! Mental health is a mine field. Thank God I'm thinking more clearly now.
I’ve enquired into an IVA but I really can’t stand the thought of paying off a huge amount of interest.
I’m thinking about going bankrupt and starting again. Kind of a ‘clean slate’ scenario to get it (and her) out of my life but I just don’t know what to do and neither do any of the experts I’ve approached.
I realise I’m coming across as a real victim but I was fragile and am much stronger now and able to face the truth about how to get myself back on track.
Can anyone help???
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Replies
This woman even though she has a drink problem will do the same as any other alcoholic and be volatile and act in any way she can to get other people to take the rap for her own failings including her business.
But the fact is you should shop her to the police and if she is violent or threatening towards you then she must be prepared to face the consequences otherwise you will be paying for her sins for a long long time both literally and figuratively.
This woman even though she is your mother has behaved in an appalling manner towards you and the fact that she has been able to manipulate 80k from you even now -speaks reams about how her true character is.
She is - as you say toxic and she is quite capable of manipulating you back into ill health if you let her.
You seem to be a much stronger person now and well done to you in getting this far but all contact needs to be severed with this woman while you sort out what to do next. I suspect you need to seek legal advice and a free half hour with a solicitor may need to be your next step.
I cant offer any advice but wish you much luck and strength to face what may be an even worse battle than your health.
Swampy