Funding teenagers - help please??

Addiscomber

My 17 year old DS has been getting £10 a week pocket money plus the minimum EMA out of which he had to pay his fares to college. For the last year he has had a monthly clothes allowance, but I put the money in a pot which I keep. When he wants to go clothes shopping he "withdraws" what he thinks he will need to spend and has to show me the receipts and we put any change back in the pot. He is in no doubt that there is no more money in our budget to bail him out if he wastes it. This way I don't have to shop with him, he gets to choose what he likes and I can hopefully prevent him blowing the lot on something completely unsuitable. As he can't be bothered to go clothes shopping he is getting quite a bit towards when he needs something major. (In fact the money is not all in the pot, because once I realised that he wasn't spending it I left it in our interest bearing account. I just hope he doesn't suddenly decide to ask for a large sum on a Sunday :eek: ) I did this system with our eldest and he has turned into a very careful shopper.

tigertiger_3

Im going to print these posts out and give them to my DD (16 going on 30) who thinks she is soooo hard done by....she gets £20 cash a week....and £20 pm into bank, plus her daily money for school! in return for basically sod all (some ironing if I am lucky)

I feel ashamed of myself now and am going to stop her £20 a week if she doesn't do chores EVERY day, starting from now.

I used to get £5 per week and i used to help around the house a lot!

DizzyAng

I gave my children pocket money in exchange for them doing chores but they are a bit hopeless and I end up getting stressed out.

The deal was they had pocket money from me up to age 13. At 13 they are old enough to get a work permit and a paper round.

They get £1 every week from their gran. Their dad (we are divorced) gives them £5 per week but they can only withdraw half of it every fortnight. (I would never be able to keep track but good idea - hopefully stops "impulse" buying). I buy all their clothes, shoes, toiletries but make them buy magazines and extras. Eldest works at the weekends and get pays £5 per hour and middle one does a paper round. Little one still only 12 so he does odd jobs for me for extras if he's saving up for something special

Sorry smilies not working!

rchddap1

Way back when I was 16 my parents started to give me a £50 per month allowance. Out of this I was expected to buy everything I needed. That is, mum & dad would deal with the basic food requirements, and a bed, but the rest was up to me. It was my responbility to spend it wisely. If I wanted I could have spent the lot on music each month.

Part of the idea was to teach me about responsible money management. If I went to parents and said "I need x for school"....I'd get "that's what your allowance is for and if you've spent it tough".

Turned out I was reluctant to spend it and so left it in my savings account, but that's another tale.

Debt_Free_Chick

I am a huge believer in the allowance method, especially at age 13. The problem with pocket money is that, without any boundaries, it's simply money to fritter away on "whatever".

The allowance means that the teen has to make their own financial decisions - and bear the consequences! This way, having bought a new pair of shoes, you don't then get bullied into buying new trainers as well the following week. The teen has to decide which is more important/most needed and make the appropriate decision.

If they buy trainers, wear them to school and then get a discipline for unsuitable shoes - then that's the consequence of the decision they made.

The allowance teaches them money-management and budgeting skills, which you can, of course, help with.

If the teen then wants more "me-money", they work for it - either by getting a weekend job or by doing chores around the house.

I feel there's little to be gained by parents magically providing all the essentials and then simply giving pocket money to be frittered away. They need to understand the delicate balancing act involved in budgeting and the allowance does this.

HTH

hilstep2000

I can't afford to give my 15 year old son much. He gets £5 a week pocket money, and I top his phone up once a month with £10. I do buy all his clothes and shoes though, and now he is in size 8 shoes, and small mans clothes that's not cheap! He will be 16 next month and is determined to get a weekend job, and next year he will be entitled to £30 EMA, which will really help.
Earlier this year I found out he was smoking, so I stopped his pocket money. I said I didn't care if he smoked, only that I wasn't going to fund it! He soon stopped when he had no money, and he's not buying any now, so I think he's learnt his lesson!
He's a good kid really, and never asks to go on expensive school holiday trips because he knows that I can't afford it, but he also knows how much he is loved and apreciated. He does such a lot for me too, (I've got MS) and sometimes I think he shouldn't, but I can't stop him.
My daughter was earning her own wages from 13, waitressing and then at 16 got a shop job. She's 19 now, and helps out too. It's up to you to decide what your pocket can afford!

funky-footprints

I used to get my family allowance. I took a pack lunch to school so had no reason to waste it on extra food, and also had a saturday job. We've been lucky in that we have saved our childrens family allowance ..so once old enough and if they are willing to get a saturday job i hope to do the same. probably from about secondary school age I will think about an official allowance, however at that age i will expect some to be saved.

Sundin ..its easy for me to give advice as my son is only 5 ......i'l be asking you for it in 10 years time now doubt ..so please remeber me ......

Id make him his sandwiches ....sorry i know it doesnt help but then there is no excuse for him wasting his money on extra food. you would also then know what food is going in his lunch box.

Phone top up is his responsibilty .... ring him if he doesnt ring you ..he will soon get the message, no credit no credit on his phone = no street cred !!! he will soon learn to manage his money !!!

Jobs around the house ..a start is making his bed ..and keeping his bedroom clean ..cut his pocket money if he cant do the jobs you ask him to do. when he does a good job on that, he will soon learn that buy helping you more he may get an increase ? he may even attempt to do a better job on the dishes then !!

I wouldnt exepct him to buy his own clothes ..but if he wants those special trainers then he can certainly contribute.



x

bestpud

Ds, 15 and dd, 14 get £10 each a week.

They have set chores to do:

Ds walks the dog twice a day, empties and puts the bins out once a week and changes the beds (except eldest dd's as she won't have him in her room!) once a week.

Dd cleans the kitchen (wipes the sides down etc) every day and mops it at the weekend.

They also have to keep their rooms clean, generally tidy up after themselves, put their dirty washing out and clean clothes away when I've laundered them.

The money, though, is pretty much theirs to do what they want with. They get £20 towards things like trainers and they are only given essential clothing - anything more than that and they get it themselves. They are also expected to buy small pressies/cards for people like grandparents at xmas and b'days.

I would like to give them a proper budget and let them clothe themselves but I've always chickened out of starting in case it goes very wrong! This thread has some useful tips though so may give it some more thought.

Bestpud

Horasio

We give our son an allowance. It helps him to budget

jfdi

Up to age 14 (which was 4 years ago) my son got 10p for every year of his age - from 50p a week at 5, to £1.30 a week at 13. At age 14 I started a SO up to his bank account for £20 a month, which went to £25 for age 15. This was to cover his spending on comics, sweets etc - plus mobile phone from age 14.

Once he hit 16 I also added on his Child Benefit, which was now to include clothes & toiletries etc.

Age nearly 18, he finally got a weekend job (couldn't find one before then) and I stopped the £25 'pocket money', but left on the ChB as a SO - using the thoughts that I now won't miss it when it stops entirely as he's off to Uni.

worked OK for him.

I've never demanded he carry out chores to get the money - I just expect him to help around the house (& he does) as a common courtesy to the other occupants.

A
xx