Some days I hate my job Blog Discussion

Former_MSE_Archna

This is the discussion to link on the back of Martin's "Some days I hate my job" blog. Please read the blog first, as the discussion follows it.


Read Martin's "Some days I hate my job" Blog

pounds_and_pensive

I used to work as an assistant in a special needs school. It was a dirty job sometimes - having to feed and toilet the children who couldn't do these things for themselves - and hard work pretty much *all* the time. In spite of this, it was a job that I loved and one that I'd still be doing now if my non-driving self hadn't have had to move across town. There are few things to beat the joy and satisfaction of being a part of the team that encouraged a nine year-old child to take his first tottering steps down the length of the corridor with the aid of a zimmer frame, after his parents had been told almost from birth that he'd never even be able to stand up. Or the elation of hearing a child say one word, knowing that with that one word she's just doubled her existing vocabulary (even if it *was* part of an unfortunate expression she'd picked up while watching rugby on the telly with her dad over the weekend. Oops ) Little miracles happened in that place every day, and it was usually a riot of laughs most of the time too.

Sadly, many of the kids had terminal illnesses or were born with life-threatening conditions that would see they'd never make old bones. Consequently, coming in to work to find that one of the kids had died, often with no warning, was a fairly regular occurrence. *Those* were the days I hated my job, and I'd feel angry, frustrated and sad about not being able to change things.

It got easier though. With each time it happened, I remembered that little bit sooner that the rest of the kids still needed my help, and that they were going to get less of it as long as my mind was pre-occupied with the child that didn't need me at all any more. Then, feeling blessed to have known him or her, I could just take what I'd learned from him or her (in some ways, they'd often ended up teaching me just as much as I'd taught them ) and get on with trying to make a real difference to the others.

'People' kind of jobs do get discouraging when you encounter a situation where you can't help someone, but you just have to mentally leave it there, taking whatever you can from the experience in order to give your best to helping the next person. It also helps to remember that few things apart from death are irreversible - where there's life, there's hope, and you can *always* make a difference. Having no option but to walk away from a family while saying 'There's nothing I can do' could well have been sufficient shock to have given them the illumination of their very own lightbulb moment (the gift that keeps on giving ) and the determination to take real control of their own financial destiny. Far from having done nothing

kfn1502

One of the problems with CCCS (and the CAB and other similar organisations) is that while they help people work out a debt management plan and/or budget, they aren't there teaching them how to implement the required budget. I'm not knocking the CCCS (et al) - they do a fantastic job and they help SO MANY people get their finances sorted out. But sadly there's a large section in society who are unable to handle money - they lack the educational skills, the aptitude, the role models ... lots of things. As a volunteer personal budget counsellor, I work alongside people helping them prepare a budget THEN helping them to actually implement it. We supply Microsoft Money software free (and try to find a free computer for them if they don't have one) and show them how to use it. This helps them to see what's coming in - and when, what's going out - and when, and they can anticipate future spending for the next month (that's my guideline for them). So far, it's worked for about a dozen family units. I'm now starting to work alongside Frontline when they meet people who need a debt management plan - the Frontline volunteers manage the debt side of things, then I help the client to be able to pay the debts by teaching them how to manage their money.

So this lovely family that Martin met probably needs to be taught HOW to manage their finances. Being told they need to change is important, getting help & support from CCCS is important, but they need to be actively supported as they learn to manage their finances.

My request of other Money Savers on this site is this: if you are able to handle your finances well, and you know someone who isn't able to do this but wants to learn, take up the challenge. Be patient - what comes very naturally to you doesn't come naturally to most people. Be patient also when they slip up (because they will) and help them get back on track.

It is incredibly satisfying to me when I save money on anything (my teenagers think I'm very sad!). But it is infinitely more satisfying when I'm able to teach someone else some basic money management skills and see their lives improve.

sajhoffmanhussain

Ah hello

I was actually on my way to work at the BBC in Blackburn when you got on the train and asked me if it was the right train to Colne - I recognised you but didn't want to embarass myself by going "oy its you Martin Lewis I really liked your Money Diet book" ... anyway just thought I'd say thanks on this forum anyway, I find your website very useful for money saving tips!

Saj

rls1973

pounds_and_pensive wrote:

I used to work as an assistant in a special needs school. It was a dirty job sometimes - having to feed and toilet the children who couldn't do these things for themselves - and hard work pretty much *all* the time. In spite of this, it was a job that I loved and one that I'd still be doing now if my non-driving self hadn't have had to move across town. There are few things to beat the joy and satisfaction of being a part of the team that encouraged a nine year-old child to take his first tottering steps down the length of the corridor with the aid of a zimmer frame, after his parents had been told almost from birth that he'd never even be able to stand up. Or the elation of hearing a child say one word, knowing that with that one word she's just doubled her existing vocabulary (even if it *was* part of an unfortunate expression she'd picked up while watching rugby on the telly with her dad over the weekend. Oops ) Little miracles happened in that place every day, and it was usually a riot of laughs most of the time too.

Sadly, many of the kids had terminal illnesses or were born with life-threatening conditions that would see they'd never make old bones. Consequently, coming in to work to find that one of the kids had died, often with no warning, was a fairly regular occurrence. *Those* were the days I hated my job, and I'd feel angry, frustrated and sad about not being able to change things.

It got easier though. With each time it happened, I remembered that little bit sooner that the rest of the kids still needed my help, and that they were going to get less of it as long as my mind was pre-occupied with the child that didn't need me at all any more. Then, feeling blessed to have known him or her, I could just take what I'd learned from him or her (in some ways, they'd often ended up teaching me just as much as I'd taught them ) and get on with trying to make a real difference to the others.

'People' kind of jobs do get discouraging when you encounter a situation where you can't help someone, but you just have to mentally leave it there, taking whatever you can from the experience in order to give your best to helping the next person. It also helps to remember that few things apart from death are irreversible - where there's life, there's hope, and you can *always* make a difference. Having no option but to walk away from a family while saying 'There's nothing I can do' could well have been sufficient shock to have given them the illumination of their very own lightbulb moment (the gift that keeps on giving ) and the determination to take real control of their own financial destiny. Far from having done nothing

poundsandpensive, you sound a truly good person (a rare thing) thank you.

Edinburghlass_2

Programme concerned is on in five minutes, Tonight with Trevor McDonald

Debts and Lies

As the UK's personal debt mountain continues to rise, money worries are now becoming one of the major causes of breakdown in personal relationships. Linda Duberley meets two women who, having previously concealed their mammoth spending habits from their unsuspecting partners, prepare to reveal the true extent of their debt and attempt to move forward.

Edinburghlass_2

Really pleased there was a good outcome for the couple that were revisited.

I remember that programme well and there but for the grace of God (or Martin Lewis) go many people without really realising just how deep they have got when redundancy hits or the loss of a job.