I'm back... Ashamed and scared.

rubyslipper

I can't believe my last visit to this site was January this year. I was doing so well with my debt, I'd got a grip on my overdraft, I'd paid off my credit cards and was paying off my Lloyds TSB loan. Unfortunately since before Christmas, I've totally gone off the rails. My loan payments are being met every month and I'm not defaulting on my credit card payment but I'm ending each month up to my £650 overdraft limit with a few spends on my Mint card piled on top of the debt that's already there. My Mint card is like a spending blindfold, I use it when I'm just not sure whether Lloyds will allow me anything else!

I haven't opened my Mint statement in ages, I just call up the payment line, pay the minimum amount (I know, I know) and block it out of my mind. The minimum amount of course creeps up every month but my ostrich skills are exemplary.

Anyway, tonight I am going to sit down with all my paperwork and face up to the full extent of my relapse. I'm terrified and I currently don't know how I'll pull myself out of this but I just wanted to post here, more to shame myself into finally doing something about it all. I'll come back with my SOA later and try to find my way back on the right track.

Thanks for reading x

Tixy

Hi and welcome back.

We all have moments of going off the rails with debt repayments (and ignoring the post), good that you have set aside some time to sort through it all and get yourself back on track. You can do it, and the news might be unpleasent but you'll be glad you did so you can start being more organised.

Do you have internet or phone banking for your overdraft? can you get into the habit of checking it every couple of days so you know how far (or how close) you are to your overdraft limit.

bargainbetty

Oh my god, you mean you fell back into old habits????? SHOCK! HORROR! Cue girly screaming etc....

OK, now that is out of the way, how about you remember that you are human, you are not perfect (nothing in this universe is, read Stephen Hawking) you've had a bit of a bad run etc. Then think about the fact that that you have spotted it, and are working to turn it around again. You will kick yourself up the bum for at least a month over it, but you acheived it once, and you will do again.

So speaks the veteran of two consolidation loans and the credit card that finally got paid off last month. After 18 years of debt.

Good luck sweetie, and take heart - it is not about how many times you fall, it is about how you get back on your feet and keep going. x

rubyslipper

Hi Tixy

Thanks for the welcome! I spent around 10 months using this site every day and feeling so positive, I'm so ashamed that things have got to where they are but I can't change that and now I need to deal with it! I do have internet banking but it's another one of those things I've got very good at ignoring. Once my bills/rent have gone out I'm pretty much overdrawn straight after payday and it really frightens me. However, the ostrich must die! Time to get a grip.

Not looking forward to tonight but am determined to face up to the full picture.

Thanks for the message x

rubyslipper

Hi Betty

What a lovely post, thank you so much! I don't want to make excuses, I knew full well what I was doing and I chose to ignore it. I am a fool but as you say none of us are perfect (btw Stephen Hawking? Get you, clever clogs!).

Your signature is inspiring. Well done on your achievements. I've only been back on the site for half an hour and already thanks to folks like you I feel more positive and less alone. Obviously once the SOA is completed I might feel slightly less positive but hopefully that will be temporary!

Thank you xx

frugalzzz

Congratulations Ruby, you've stopped the rot and that's really hard to do.

You can do it, you've already proved as much. Good luck with the SOA, and hold tight to this feeling of positivity and determination, it will serve you well xx

rubyslipper

frugalzzz wrote: »

Congratulations Ruby, you've stopped the rot and that's really hard to do.

You can do it, you've already proved as much. Good luck with the SOA, and hold tight to this feeling of positivity and determination, it will serve you well xx

Look at your signature! SO impressive, well done. Thank you for your kind words. I'm so glad I logged back in today, I really am. Tonight will be hard but I'm going to pull my stupid head out of the sand if it kills me!

Thanks again x

wynnvegas

Hi Ruby,

frugalzz is right. Stopping the rot and realising there's an issue that needs addressing is a massive first step and one that a lot of people leave until too late in the day. Take each day as it comes and set yourself public targets. I find that if I commit to something publicly, it's hard to admit failure so the best thing to do is not fail! I've never been in any kind of debt myself but I have helped 4 of my family members manage their way out of some dark financial holes. I wish you the very best of luck.

Cheers,

Billy

rubyslipper

wynnvegas wrote: »

Hi Ruby,

frugalzz is right. Stopping the rot and realising there's an issue that needs addressing is a massive first step and one that a lot of people leave until too late in the day. Take each day as it comes and set yourself public targets. I find that if I commit to something publicly, it's hard to admit failure so the best thing to do is not fail! I've never been in any kind of debt myself but I have helped 4 of my family members manage their way out of some dark financial holes. I wish you the very best of luck.

Cheers,

Billy

Hi Billy

Thanks for the words of encouragement and for sharing your thoughts. You're absolutely right about 'going public', that's exactly the reason I'm on here today. I have been keeping it to myself for too long (I live alone so that's easy to do!). But no more, tonight I will discover and reveal the full extent of my money worries. Thanks again for the good wishes.

Ruby x

Happytogetdebtfree

Hi rubyslipper welcome back and i look forward to seeing your soa later chin up and keep positive we all make mistakes, the key is you have come back willing to give it a try xx

rubyslipper

Happytogetdebtfree wrote: »

Hi rubyslipper welcome back and i look forward to seeing your soa later chin up and keep positive we all make mistakes, the key is you have come back willing to give it a try xx

Thank you! So nice of you to welcome me back. As the day goes on I'm feeling more and more panicky about doing my SOA, especially as I'm so thick with financial stuff (no kidding!) and numbers but I WILL do it. I already kind of feel the old excitement about taking control which is weird.

Look forward to your views later on! xx