Partners Secret Debt

Ceniza

powellypowelly wrote: »

I really feel for you, that's a horrible situation. I definitely agree with some of the other posters, he may have taken a brave pill and told you there's a problem, but you've got to make sure he's told you the full story.

I had a lot of debt when I met my wife, and it's really difficult to know how & when to someone you love that you've got financial problems, but I'm so glad that I did. You're hardly going to tell them on the first date, but it's such a weight off my mind not to have having a dirty little financial secret. I still regard my debt as mine, not ours, and bit by bit I'm getting rid of it.

For other people reading this:

If you've got a lot of debt, and you're getting into a serious relationship (moving in, kids, etc) you owe it to your OH to tell them. If you don't, you're abusing their trust, basically lying.

If you're already past that point, bite the bullet and tell your other half. It'll all come out in the end anyway, you can't hide it forever, and it will get worse the longer you leave it.

I agree with this. It was so hard for me to confess to my partner about my troubles. We had been dating for about 6/8 months, and were getting serious and talking about moving in together, and that's when I came clean to her about my trouble. Although my total debt is only half my annual salary, it is still big enough to cause a few financial questions when moving in with someone.

Just make sure you know the whole truth, and I'm sure he knows what an idiot he has been, and feels bad enough already. From personal experience, having the support from someone to deal with something like this works a lot better than the dissaproval and resentment that you feel.

Bloomberg wrote: »

Your main concern should be trust, can you trust a man who lied over something as significant as this?. Basically you are better off without this man.

That is not really a fair comment to make. You don't understand the full reason for the debt in the first place, nor the reasons for hiding it.