Not doing well becoming debt free

mum2many

things seem to go from bad to worse here.

in July eldest dd went to france, as well as paying for the trip which was £200( paid over 6 months) we had to send her with clothes and spending money, in total around £150 out of our low monthly bubget. Plus nearly £100 on the boys swimming lessons.

Ok i know they were coming up and should have saved for them instead of doing it out of 1 months money but we never seem to be able to do it.

well, august comes and its time to go on hliday to IOW, we have a touring caravan and the holiday is all paid. then all our spends go on 4 new tyres costing nearly 300, 2 tyres with nails/screws in and 2 on the legal limit when the garage checks.

tried to pay the last £450 out of our mortgage reserve account into the bank but the cheque was declined(dont know why as we are up to date on payments)

managed to borrow £200 of MIL but need to ay it back out of hubbies sept bonus

well we are about £400+ overdrawn, limit is £250 and have a week till pay day.have very little food in the house and IL's are coming round today and i think they will expect tea too

what can we do? we can pay our bills but struggle like anything to last till the end of the month, and often cant do it when stuff like this happens.

dave318

Ok, we all like a holiday, sometimes even need them. But if you can't afford it, you can't afford it. It looks great being able to send daughter on holiday to France, give the boys swimming lessons and use your caravan to go to IOW, but reality kicks in and says, wait a minute, we can't actually pay for all of this stuff. Something has to go.

When you get to this stage, it is not too late to do something about it. But it is usually at the expense of foregoing some of the nicer things in life. You can save up for these things in life.

mum2many

thanks Dave,

I see your point on all of the above but i have terrible guilt complex(i suffer from depression)

I feel bad not sending daughter away on a school trip when all her friends are going, I never asked to go on any when i lived at home as I knew mum and dad couldnt afford it and vowed that i would always try and let my kids go on at least one per school year.
She is really good and always picks the one she really wants and understands we cant afford more. she has even got herself a pt job to pay for the extras we cant buy her(trendy clothes, mobile, cinema etc)

I also think the swimming lesson are essential as schools no longer take them swimming weekly as thats how i learnt to swim.

Holidays are the same DH works very hard and deserves a break. Again I never had family holiday as a kid and feel i did miss out when all friends were talking about what they did in the holidays and places they visit.
If it was a fortnight in a foreign country I would cut it out but this isnt.

I would be more willing to give stuff up but DH wouldnt, he doesnt want the kids to miss out and we need a family holiday.

Reading this seems like i am ignoring the good advice given, sorry but i have to keep in mind what the husband and kids want too and they are not as willing to give up on the luxuries.

Annie_Fanny

Do you not have to accept your lot then? I just think it's a shame as your level of debt could be paid off if you tightened the purse strings and set yourself a time limit and got your family in with the PLAN.

MrsTinks

Whilst I hear what you are saying and forgo-ing all luxuries is too hard I know, then if you can't afford them then you can't afford them! No if's and but's! Sorry but if as you say you are struggling to put food on the table this month then something is going to have to give! Either your income needs to increase or you need to forgo some luxuries... DH and the kids need to wake up and smell the coffee I think
If DD can get a part time job to pay for clothes etc and mobile phone then surely she can start saving herself to go on the holidays with school? She is obviously old enough to appreciate that money is tight and I am sure she will enjoy it more knowing she's earnt the money for it and knowing you two aren't going without food to ensure she has a holiday?
As for the family holiday then I take it you have a caravan? Well how much is this worth? Could you clear some debt by selling it and tenting it for a few years? Once debt free you can save up and buy one again cash
And Tents aren't that bad I love camping in mine and it was a cheap one from Argos

Jessiepig

Everyone seems to be quite hard on you. I too went on Hols in July and now strugglin till payday this week and then still in September.
I have to say we really enjoyed our holiday,it was a lovely rest and we did not have to worry about bills.
I would say that we accept our lot and knew that the followin two months would be hard.
I think you have to accept that if you want treats then there is a price to pay and accept it.

lynzpower

I dont think anyone here would begrudge someone a cheapie holiday, or swimming lessons for the kids, but the bottom line is you havent saved for them, and thus you have bounced your overdraft.

You dont have any food in.

Im sorry, Im not having a go, but this is where the planning comes in. You cant do anything really about your situation now, apart from phoning the bank and finding out what you are going to do as clearly you are going to be in shtuk when you do get paid.

You need to be setting this money aside. Open a seperate bank account and work out what you need to be putting away every month to be able to fund these things. I agree if your daughter is paying for her own luxuries, then new clothes for the holiday and her spending money should have been financed out of that.

Maybe all of you need to be thinking about how you finance these luxuries. Your boys, what have they got thats not being used- can you find stuff to sell, likewise your daughter. You need to get some income in your account AND PRONTO.

And you need to have a clear idea of how to save for these things if/when they come up later.

I agree with the tenting idea, weve had some cracking times under canvas!

MrsTinks

And as always Lynz puts it so much more elequent than I

Sorry if what I said was a tad harsh but I do tend to say it as I find it if you know what I mean Why don't you do an up to date SOA and let us have a look and see if we can help you with organising things a bit?

beanielou

hi m2m
Things sound really tough
Is there any way you could start to put a little bit by a month in a credit union?
Could you pop up a SOA so we can see if we can help?
Take care

Verbatim

HI,

Gawd you're getting a rough time here tonight! :A

My thought was, why did the bank refuse the £450 from the mortgage reserve account if it was up to date? If this was an error on their side I'd be arguing v. forcefully that this had caused me to go into debt and that I expected them to cover any extra expense I'd incurred due to it: interest charges and late payment charges for example.

Meanwhile, good advice has no doubt been offered for next year but try and stay positve now. What's in the cupboards? You could ask for suggestions of what to cook on the old style board, and remember to stock up before going away next year.

Hope you can hold on till payday.

dave318

Yeah, re-read my post and got to admit, I did sound a bit harsh. Sorry!!!:o As stated, you should post a SOA on here to see if people can help save you a bit, although it does sound as if you are already trying. I do understand the need to provide a life for the kids, but it does take its toll. as Lynz says, you just need to be a bit more organized. It is not without hope.
Still wishing you all the best.
Keep us updated.;)