Living with partner and not contributing

MissEfficient_2

Hi there... im looking for advice as my long term boyfriend asked me to move in with him. He owns a house and has a very low mortgage. He doesnt want any rent money from me. I am not sure how i feel about this as, although i earn slightly less than him, I have been paying rent elsewhere and can afford to do so. I dont want to take advantage of his genourosity. I had thought i could put the amount of money i would usually pay in rent into a joint savings account for the pair of us to use in the future (perhaps to help with the down payment on a bigger house or something), however my friends are divided on whether this is fair to me.

You can probably gather that I am quite confused as to what is best to do. I'm not great with money so advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks!

C_Mababejive

Heres some very good advice.


Never live in a house that you have no legal right to occupy.

keith969

You should be thinking of your long term security. Put the equivalent of what you would have paid in rent into a savings account. Then if in years to come things do not work out you have something to fall back on.

McKneff

He's maybe extremely generous and loves you very much

or

he's thinking tha t10/20 years down the line if you dont contribute then you cant walk away with some or half of his house.

Just put your rent into a savings account and then maybe next year treat you both to a fantastic holiday.

PasturesNew

keith969 wrote: »

You should be thinking of your long term security. Put the equivalent of what you would have paid in rent into a savings account. Then if in years to come things do not work out you have something to fall back on.

Go with this. The money's then in your name but you can consider it "ours".... and his house is in his name and he considers it "ours".

Just need to get the wording right though.... so not "in case it doesn't work out", but "our little emergency nest egg for the future"

wessexw

Why do you need to tell him you're saving the money - it's your money, do what you want with it! But I do agree that you need to look after your future and don't just depend on him - you never know what might happen :S

G51shopaholic

very easy - sit him down and talk it over.

Why does he not want you to contribute? Is he worried it'll not work?

Only by sitting down and laying your cards on the table can you start this new junction in your life together on the right foundations.

Again if he still doesn't want the money - get a savings account and put the amount you would have paid in rent into this but tell him your going to do this so that he can see everything is out in the open.

Good luck
x x x

Timalay

C_Mababejive wrote: »

Heres some very good advice.


Never live in a house that you have no legal right to occupy.

How do you work that one out, he owns the house. Surely he can have who he wants to stay there.

zzzLazyDaisy

I agree with the advice to put the money in a savings account, in your name, but for your joint future. At some point you may wish to buy a house together and this will mean that you will be able to make a contribution to the deposit.

If things don't work out, you will have some money for a deposit/rent in advance/furniture etc.

While he doesn't want money towards the mortgage/house maintenance (which from his point of view is sensible anyway) you can still contribute in other ways - utility bills, food etc will all increase when you move in - okay they won't double but in my experience it is a fallacy that two can live as cheaply as one.

Congratulations on taking the next step in your relationship!

C_Mababejive

Timalay wrote: »

How do you work that one out, he owns the house. Surely he can have who he wants to stay there.

No he cant. He can only have who is wants with their consent.

zzzLazyDaisy

Timalay wrote: »

How do you work that one out, he owns the house. Surely he can have who he wants to stay there.

Yes.

But I think the point being made is that OP has no legal right to occupy the house - her bf could change his mind at a moment's notice and OP could be on the street....