Wills with step children

jacqhale

We have put probably too much thought into all the possibilities and varying outcomes as we sadly witnessed what happens when you hope the other one does the right thing.
SIL sadly passed away suddenly, everything went to BIL. He had brought up her 2 children as his own and it was agreed they would inherit, however money can come between anyone in a family and the lack of a will meant no one knew where they stood and fights started. He then in his grief was totally taken in by a woman with her own child, they are now married, he is not allowed to see any of his family and the previous home has been sold and invested in hers ......

Sorry for the rambling that probably makes no sense but although SIL's kids are technically grown up they have been royally shafted and I know their mother would have hated that they be left practically nothing with a family relationship in tatters.

I know my husband, he always takes the path of least resistance and while I can't imagine him (or me if being fair) doing that, we didn't think BIL would either until it happened.

Valli

maggieann155 wrote: »

"In our case we have 'mirror wills' leaving everything to each other and then to 5 grandchildren, 3 of mine and 2 of his. On the death of the second survivor everything is to be split equally 5 ways. To ensure that, we have had to name all 5 of them."

But if you leave everything to your other half, once its his, cant he do with it as he pleases ie possibly provide for just his family?

This is exactly the problem with this - whoever dies first leaves to partner - who can then rewrite the will to suit. Leaving to all kids or the cats' home if he/she so chooses.

margaretclare

maggieann155 wrote: »

"In our case we have 'mirror wills' leaving everything to each other and then to 5 grandchildren, 3 of mine and 2 of his. On the death of the second survivor everything is to be split equally 5 ways. To ensure that, we have had to name all 5 of them."

But if you leave everything to your other half, once its his, cant he do with it as he pleases ie possibly provide for just his family?

I doubt that this would happen. He's not very much in favour of leaving an 'inheritance' to anybody - his view is: 'no one left us a penny-piece, we had no choice but to make our own way in the world and so should they'.

There is a distinct possibility that he would disinherit one of my grandchildren, but that is only because of the way said grandchild has behaved. It would be his decision depending on what was said/done at the time. His own family have done extremely well for themselves - the granddaughters have both won scholarships to public school - and need nothing. If he leaves the lot to one of our favourite charities, that would be fine with me.

margaretclare

Valli wrote: »

This is exactly the problem with this - whoever dies first leaves to partner - who can then rewrite the will to suit. Leaving to all kids or the cats' home if he/she so chooses.

He could make a new will, true.

Whatever he decides when I'm no longer around will be fine. I am not into exercising control from beyond the grave.

maggieann155

margaretclare wrote: »

He could make a new will, true.

Whatever he decides when I'm no longer around will be fine. I am not into exercising control from beyond the grave.

i dont see it as "control" but as being fair to all
you obviously want to leave something to your own family or else why name them.

margaretclare

maggieann155 wrote: »

i dont see it as "control" but as being fair to all
you obviously want to leave something to your own family or else why name them.

They are all 'my own family', all 5 of them. 'Being fair to all' - exactly. I could pay more attention to their individual needs, which vary wildly between them all, but that would not be exactly 'fair'.

Why name them - because it is not sufficient, as I explained earlier, to write 'my children' or 'my grandchildren'. The ones that weren't named would get left out. It is not known, of course, which of us, DH or I, will shuffle off this mortal coil first.

benz

[QUOTE=
We decided on everything going to the partner then being split between the kids when both have gone.
However according to our will writer there is nothing that can be done about one partner remarrying in the future, as soon as they 'have the lot' they can then rewrite the will however they want [/QUOTE]

I have also thought about this and specifically asked for wills to be drawn up for my wife and I, so that everything goes to the surviving spouse and after the second death, to our child. I've nothing against my wife marrying again and it's not about exercising control. But if this scenario occurs and the man she marries also has children I don't see why my money should go to his children upon her decease. They could be very nice children but they're not my children.

Having requested the above when the will writing was done I'm pretty sure our wishes have not been complied with, as it states basically that upon my death everything goes to my wife and if we both go together, everything goes to our child, so I'd be interested in the form of words needed

dzug1

The form of words are in broad terms to set up a trust in which your wife is the lifetime beneficiary entitled to income but not capital and your child is entitled after her death to receive the capital.

A will writer might not want to do a will that complex - a solicitor might be more expert. You can make the powers of the trustees as open or as restricted as you want. Overdoing it either way can be a disaster.

You cannot (in law and in logic) leave everything to the surviving spouse without giving her the power to decide what to do with it when she gets it. You leave it to a trust that doles out to the spouse whatever its terms dictate.

rolling_thunder

margaretclare wrote: »

It's maybe worth pointing out that in the case of step-children it isn't sufficient to write 'my children' - you have to name them.

In our case we have 'mirror wills' leaving everything to each other and then to 5 grandchildren, 3 of mine and 2 of his. On the death of the second survivor everything is to be split equally 5 ways. To ensure that, we have had to name all 5 of them.

Hi and thanks to all who wrote so far.

We wanted to make mirror wills to effectively saying just as you have quoted.. both partners had the right to live out their days as any natural parent until they die, then all funds left to be split equal between our four girls...
We didnt want the partner left to feel restricted, remarriage is likely and expected, but we have been told by our solicitor no will can work as the children can contest it soon as any child reaches 18 as they are next of kin to the deceased ..

We cant be the only couple with stepchildren to cater for?

nearlyrich

We used a knowledgeable solicitor with lots of experience to draw up our wills, we trust each other to ensure the 4 children (2 each) are treated equally by whoever survives the other. If we were both to go together then it is easier because the terms of the will(s) share it all out equally. There are others who may feel they have a claim, that has been dealt with as far as it's possible to deal with it.

It's worth spending a bit of money on good legal advice to ensure you get what you want and explore all the pitfalls.