Managing from now through summer hols when pregnant and soooo tired

Jo_R_2

Morning all

I am currently pg with baby 4, due end of September. My other children are 6 (Year 1 at school), 3 (in nursery mornings and starts school full-time in September) and 1 (at home with me:)) and there will be 18ish months between our current baby and new baby:D

I'm very excited about our new addition, but I'm also feeling rather daunted at the mo. Strangely, not so much for after the birth, in my head I've coped with newborns and older children so feel fairly confident I can muddle along into a routine as you do.

It's more the 'interim' as I call it. I get chronically tired of an afternoon, I manage to do what needs doing (although most of the time I feel like I could fall asleep walking to pick up DD1 from school - not good) and get housework done, dinner on the table, and OH helps out a lot when he gets back from work.

I tend to rush round doing housework in the mornings whilst DD2 is at nursery with baby "helping";) until he has his nap. The thing is, I'm finding more and more things need doing, baby is starting to nap later and for a shorter time, and with the best will in the world, it takes three times as long to finish anything I start, thus OH comes home to a dozen half-finished tasks, all of which I start with the best of intentions because I don't want OH to think I'm not pulling my weight (I've explained, I know he understands but I still feel like that) and I don't want him to have to do stuff I could do as he's been doing a long day at work with an early start and does physical work so I know he'll be tired.

I suppose I'm looking for tips on how to manage. I usually love having DD1 at home during the holidays but quite frankly I'm dreading it because I know how tired I'll be:(

Bufger

sit down and have a chat with your OH. Go through a list of your daily jobs and then talk about how important those really are Vs your health. You may find half the daily jobs you are doing daily some other people do weekly etc and if your house looks a bit untidy for a little while its for a very good reason and you'll both be back on it as soon as you both have some more time and energy.

pukkamum

I tend to wrok on the basis of never having a tidy house during the holidays and to just relax and go with the flow.
I previously would spend the entire school hols in a tizz trying to tidy and getting stressed with DS and DD (am also preg ) if they madde mess (inevitable if bad weather.)
So in the morn i don't allow lazing in pj's all day as i used to as this makes it harder to do anything.
We have one designated duvet day when we don't dress and watch dvd's and eat all day.
Every other day i do 30 mins in the morn of essential cleaning and tidying, which the kids 'help' with.
Then pretty much anything goes within reason and they know that at four everything goes away ready for tea and they can then play upstairs until tea's ready, that way DH comes home to a tidy house and an almost stress free wife!!!
Also during hols it's DH's job to bath and put kids to bed and do washing up every night (even though he too works long physical hours.)

pukkamum

P.s i also have a 'rest' time in the afternoon after dinner when the kids can watch t.v for an hour whilst i lie on couch!!!!!!

Spendless

I remember one summer hols when I told mine PMs were 'quiet time' and they had to go upstairs to their rooms and watch a dvd.

I have also sometimes put mine in a holiday playscheme for a session (but that'll depend on many things including finances).

daska

can you call on friends to help with the school run? pay a cleaner to come in and do the basics so that you have more energy to spread over the rest of the things that need doing? (if a bit more spare cash and a spare room would you consider an au-pair for over the summer?)

Jo_R_2

Unfortunately we don't have the money or room for an au pair but otherwise that would be a great idea!

Luckily I do have the option of putting DD2 in nursery for extra childcare on top of her funded sessions as she attends a nursery school which also provides daycare and a variety of sessions. It's just balancing out what we could reasonably afford really, was thinking maybe extend a day to a full day or book her in for alternate afternoon sessions say Tuesday and Thursday just to give me a bit of a breather in the afternoons.

My parents used to help out quite a bit but my mum has been very ill recently and although she is very much better, I am still hesitant about asking for help because I know she doesn't have the stamina she used to bless her.

OH's mum works in the afternoons except Wednesdays so she has baby then maybe every other week. I think I have help here and there for a couple of hours, it's just the afternoons I seem to struggle with.

I'll talk with OH about it and see what he suggests when he gets in from work.

mrcow

Jo - the reason you are so tired is because you need to REST!

Perhaps you can't see it because you're too close to the situation, but reread your opening post. For crying out loud - there is a reason why you only find Superwoman in books - because she's fictional!

You need to stop worrying about "pulling your weight". Please, believe me, I've been there too and overdoing it or killing yourself over stress or guilt is NOT good for you or your baby.

Batch cook where you can.
Meals out aren't out of the question.
Ask for help with the housework.
Get friends to drop your daughter to/from school.
Do the extra childcare thing (it really helps).

Put your feet up.
Stop worrying about things.
Ask your Mum to come round - not to help, but for a cup of tea and a natter and to maybe watch over your youngest if you drop off.

One thing I've learned over the years, no matter how often (or not) you clean, the cleaning will always still be there.

Don't be afraid to ask for help - people rarely say no and are often delighted to help out.