Need help please

janey-_2

I have been reading the threads and have plucked up the courage to post. I'm so stressed I feel I'm going out of my mind. My partner and I have very serious debts - around £65,000 (OMG can't believe we have got into this much trouble) Around £30,000 of these are to HMRC as our business has failed. It started failing a few years ago and we took out personal loans and used credit cards to pay. I can see now this was a big mistake but at the time we just wanted to try and carry on. We ceased trading in December and partner is now self employed and I have a part time job. We just can't keep our heads above water, we are paying credit cards bills with credit cards. We pay so many late payment fees its unbelievable. My kids are suffering as I'm so stressed and tearful. Partner is also now facing up to the enevitable. I had a lightbulb moment when I had to choose between paying a credit card so we could still use it or pay the mortgage. Outgoings are far greater than incomings and although they get paid, we borrow more each month to cover them. I really can't see any light at the end of the tunnel and I feel my family would be better off if I just left. I know this is stupid but i have secretly hoped something would happen to me then my family will have the life insurance money. I can't stop crying and I know I'm waffling but now I have started writing I ican't stop. How can we begin to sort this out? Is this my life forever now? There is no equity in our house at the moment. We tried to sell it when things started to go wrong and it fell through on the day of exchange. We are not bothered about the house any more, we just want an end to this nightmare - thanks for reading x

IF

Hi janeyand welcome, I'm sorry your both going through such alot. I'm glad you posted, we are a friendly lot. Please you can sort this out, deep breathes.
First thing Make a list of all your creditors, debts, assets.
Secondly and most important is contact one of the following debt charities. Please try these they don't charge and are impartial.
They will go through all your options with you and if they suggest bankruptcy then come back to this board and we will help you all we can. Also if your not ‘clicking’ with one of the Debt charities do try another.

Please don’t do anything rash take your time and weigh up your options and read everything you can x

Please click on Blue links below.

For ‘essential’ info this is Fermi’s sticky at top of the forum:-

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1056083

These are the most used Debt charities:-

http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/index/getadvice.htm

http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/

http://www.cccs.co.uk/

More Debt charities also on Fermi’s link:-

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1056083

And do remember we’ve all been through this and anything you don’t understand don’t be afraid to ask. And janey have you a friendly doctor to chat to,make an appointment if you can x

Best wishes
If...x

starbies

I can't offer you any 'specific' advice apart from that you've done the right thing by posting - from what you've said your situation isn't that different from mine and after struggling to pay off our business debts for the last 18mths I'm now going br on thursday and printing off my forms at the moment and as scared and nervouse as i feel I'm sure that i'll feel better once it's done.
Please make sure you talk to the cccs/cab/national debtline and get as much advice as you can - they are all so helpful and not at all judgemental - and the people on here are so supportive as well.

most of all - it may not feel like it but you're honestly not alone x

mum2one

I would just echo what the others have said, you've taken the hardest step, and thats to say we need to do something. Have you got a nice gp you can talk to, it sounds like you've bottled it all up, and its exploded, your get a lot of support from people on here, a lot have been through it, others like yourself have just hit the barrier, but plz plz take care, ur health is more important than anything. xx

janey-_2

thank you so much for the kind replies. I'm thinking of throwing a sickie tomorrow so I can phone the debt numbers. I just want to face up to things and start sorting it out. I must say I feel a bit better writing it down and telling people. x

IF

janey- wrote: »

thank you so much for the kind replies. I'm thinking of throwing a sickie tomorrow so I can phone the debt numbers. I just want to face up to things and start sorting it out. I must say I feel a bit better writing it down and telling people. x

I'm so glad your feeling a bit better, it does help to write it down.....it helps me alot to do that. And it doesn't matter how silly you think the questions is just ask us x

janey-_2

I can't sleep, got a million and one things buzzing through my mind.

Shall I stop making payments now to credit cards, loans and HMRC. Shall we still pay our mortgage and secured loan? We owe a garage for some work carried out on OH's van, can we pay them as they let us have credit as a favour and would hate to let them down (small family run business)
If I stop paying shall I cancel the direct debits? sorry for the ramblings.

Probably just need to phone the debt advice lines, I see they are open 'til 9 so when I get home tomorrow I am going to go through everything and come up with final figures :eek: and go from there.

Just one more thing, most of the debts are in OH's name or joint. I have a seperate bank account in just my name, we were wondering if just he should go bankrupt and we transfer all DD's to my A/C and put his name on the A/C at a later date? What about overdrafts are they included in debts? (I havent got an overdraft on mine but the joint account and business account are both up to the max

thanks for reading xx

Morglin

Phone one of the debt charities today, and make a list of questions to ask them, such as in your last paragraph.

Once you've got some professional help, you can sit down with your husband and work out your best option.

Good luck with it all - debt's never easy, but it can be sorted out.

Lin

MicheH

janey- wrote: »

I can't sleep, got a million and one things buzzing through my mind.

Shall I stop making payments now to credit cards, loans and HMRC. Shall we still pay our mortgage and secured loan? We owe a garage for some work carried out on OH's van, can we pay them as they let us have credit as a favour and would hate to let them down (small family run business)
If I stop paying shall I cancel the direct debits? sorry for the ramblings.

Probably just need to phone the debt advice lines, I see they are open 'til 9 so when I get home tomorrow I am going to go through everything and come up with final figures :eek: and go from there.

Just one more thing, most of the debts are in OH's name or joint. I have a seperate bank account in just my name, we were wondering if just he should go bankrupt and we transfer all DD's to my A/C and put his name on the A/C at a later date? What about overdrafts are they included in debts? (I havent got an overdraft on mine but the joint account and business account are both up to the max



thanks for reading xx

Hi Janey, it's so important you call the debt charites like th othera have said but I get the feeling you know that.Good lucj today, when I first called national debtline, who were fantastic i have to add, I was very quiet and very shaky but by the end of the conversation I was having a litle joke and speaking more confidently asking questions. Don't worry about it.

To answer all your questions would be from a bankruptcy point of view, we don't know if this is the only option available to you just yet but if it is there's nothing to worry about and all your questions can be answered and easily... i know, because I can answer them and I'm not the most clued up on BR here ny a long shot.

I hope you got some sleep, keep posting as many, many of us have been there and I'll put my hand up and admi that it helps me to write down what is going through my head. It's kind of like talking, it get's it all out there. We're here for moral support as well as technical advice.

janey-_2

thanks very much for your support, no I didn't get a wink of sleep but I have read pages of info on here and feel more clued up and TBH positive. Bamboozled the OH with info when he got up at 5.30 lol. Going to go through all our paperwork tonight and phone debt line if we have time tonight. What I am dreading the most is telling my parents, I know they will be supportive but i feel a bit of a failure...............thanks again xx

philnicandamy

Hiya janey glad to see you've got some great advice, I felt pretty much the same myself a few years ago when I considered bankruptcy worried sick what my parents would think...once I told them it really suprised me how they were supportive & definatley NOT judgemental....dont feel a faliure you've nothing to be ashamed about if anything you deserve a pat on the back for starting to tackle your debt problems

Remember if you've any more questions after you speak to someone no matter how daft they seem to you post away & the guys & girls here will do their very best to help

Good Luck