Anyone getting married abroad?

Vikki_74

I know various people on this board are getting married abroad, but although there are a few different threads I couldn't find one that brought all of people's tips, questions etc about the subject together. As we've already booked our wedding but I still have loads of questions about specific bits and pieces I thought I would start this thread to try and keep everything in one place, and hopefully help me and others who might be thinking of doing the same thing. So...

We're getting married in California on 20 September 2010 and have already booked our wedding package which includes the ceremony, limo transport to and from the site where we'll be getting married, flowers & buttonholes, photography (we get the pics on a disk and will print off what we want at home) and champagne for a toast. After the wedding we're planning to take everyone out for a nice meal at a local restaurant but haven't got this booked yet.

Only immediate family (parents & siblings + their partners) are coming along so there will only be 8 guests in total and we won't be having a best man, bridesmaids etc. Everyone is paying for their own flights & hotels, and incorporating the trip into part of their annual holiday - if they hadn't agreed to this we wouldn't have gone overseas to be honest, as I can't imagine getting married without at least my parents there.

So that's the bits I've sorted, now for the questions...

* My dress - I need something that will be ok packed up on the plane, won't be too hot and won't trail on the floor too much as we'll be outside. Would love to see what other people have worn for ideas, and also how you took (or are planning to take) the dress on the plane - hand luggage or in the hold, what did you pack it in?

* OH's suit - He hasn't had a proper look yet but thinks he wants a traditional morning suit. Moss Bros and others seem to do extended hire for weddings abroad but don't give an idea of costs on their websites - has anyone ever done this, or did your men wear something less traditional?

* Hair & make up - Obviously I can't have a trial with the people who will do it on the day, so what do I do? Was thinking have a trial with my hairdresser here and take pictures maybe? How have you found someone to do your hair on the day if getting married abroad? What styles have people gone for - I'm thinking an up-do to avoid any heat/wind issues with being outside but can't make up my mind?

* Reception - This is the bit that's stressing me out the most as we want something a couple of weeks after we get home for the rest of our friends and family but haven't booked anything yet which is making me a bit nervous as we want it in about 5 months time :eek: We have a rough idea of what we want - basically a buffet, drinks and a dj later on - but can't decide how reception-like to make it. We don't want anything as formal as speeches, but do we have a cake, a first dance etc? What have other people done?

Well that's a lot longer post than I was planning, and there may be more to come when I think about what else I need to sort, but if anyone has any tips to add or just wants to share what they're doing then I'd love to hear them!

poppyscorner

Hi Viki,

Firstly congrats !! you must be getting really excited now

I am not getting married abroad but I got married abroad first time round I can answer your questions based on that but check out what I say as my wedding abroad was 5 years ago

The dress - I bought a forever yours bridal dress which was very traditional weddingy. It however, had no train to it, I bought this from a bridal shop and they packed it for me into the smallest size suitcase you can get (imagine an overnight size case) Because we were getting married abroad the airline (if you advise them in advance) gave me a seperate 5kg allowance free of charge to carry my dress for me BUT it had to go in the hold ! Yes I know I stressed til it got off at the other side too lol.

Groomswear was hired from debenhams who gave us extended use of the suits if you explained that they were for abroad wedding I think that added a small amount to the fees. We had him my dad and his dad was BM they wore trousers shirts cravats and w/coats the price to hire all 3 was £150 back then with the extended time this was simply packed in his suitcase.

Hair and makeup - this was sorted as soon as I got there with an on site beauty salon they had books for me to look at to pick my style and they opened early on the day of the wedding (5 females in the wedding party including me) was very reasonably priced I think I didnt have trial or anything and went with no idea what I wanted I just chose it and they did it. I suppose it depends whats in the area but you may find that if its a popular wedding place they will have some contacts already.

Reception - We had a big party in a working mens club on return we had a disco, a buffet which was done by me and my mum and there was a bar there (not paid for by us) I went for paper table covers ballons in the colour scheme and some table confetti. We didn't have any speeches don't think my dad could have stood to say a second one we had a first dance but very half heartedly and we also had a marks and spencer wedding cake accesorised with a red butterfly and feather cake topper from ebay.

Can't think of anything else to add atm

Good luck with whatever you decide though

Hope that has been of some help xx

Birdie85

Hi! A wedding in California sounds fab!

I'm getting married in the Dominican Republic in February :j

This is my dress (in 'light gold'), it's a special destinations dress so there's just the one layer and it is really loose and lightweight. The dress shop have said that they will pack it into a carry-on case and I'm taking it as hand luggage. If it gets creased in situ, there's a steaming service at the hotel.

We're going casual for the men so they're just wearing linen shirts and trousers, OH may wear a lightweight suit but we're not too sure yet. I don't want him all red and sweaty because he's wearing too many layers!

There's a salon on site at our hotel so I think I'll get my hair done there, I'll probably have a trial here and take lots of pictures so they can replicate it! I'm not too sure about make-up yet, I do know that I'm having eyelash entensions (and having them dyed) before I go though so I don't have to worry about my mascara running!

We're having a party when we get back at OH's rugby club and I'm going to decorate with lots of bright colours to bring some of the Caribbean vibe back home. I'm almost as excited about this as the wedding! We're having a cake but no formal sit down meal (just a buffet/hog roast) and probably no speeches, maybe just a little 'Thanks very much' type thing from OH. OH isn't keen on the idea of having a first dance at our English reception so I don't think we'll be having one.

The good thing about getting married abroad is that I can wear my dress twice, which is very MSE when you think about it!

princessbutterpea

im getting married in cuba next feb cant wait. have booked it but now sorted anything else out yet x

p-pincher

Hi

Im getting married in New York in December fly out November 30th and we will probably be getting married on 2nd or 3rd of December. Our 2 dd's are going as well (age 6 and 4),and my 2 sisters, mum, 2 aunties, cousin and best friend and her oh. Flights are booked and planning on booking the hotel in the next week.

Were getting married at the marraige bureau ,like our registry office and it takes about 2 mins, then were gonna go for a nice meal somewhere then i fancy taking the kids to see the radio city music hall christmas spectacular show, seen it a couple of years ago and i loved it and i know the kids will adore it.

I want a 50's inspired dress, ive seen a few but not made my mind up yet, gonna order it within the next 8 weeks, ive decided im taking it in my hand luggage along with dd's dresses, not decided on these yet either. Oh said last week he doesnt fancy wearing a suit but i soon put him right on this so will probably get him one from next. Im having a silver tiffanys band for my wedding ring and gonna get it there when we get there. Im currently looking at photographers in New york as i would like some nice photos. Flowers are being ordered from Jane Packer and im trying to make my mind up what flavour cake I want from the Magnolia Bakery

Weve got a reception booked a the local football stadium for the middle of Jan and the price includes the dj so just gotts organise food and cake for that, were not doing favours so not gotta worry about that.

Still to do is finalise guest list for reception, get invites and send for reception, decide what cake i want for reception (friend mum is a cake maker) sort food, get oh wedding ring, sort out all outfits, book hotel for ny, finalise cake and meal for ny, get my wedding ring for ny. Didnt think there was much to do but when i can see it all written down i can see theres still loads to do and im bound to have forgotten something x

Starrystarrynight

Congrats to everyone!
I'm also hoping to be married overseas next year, either New York or California, both of which we love. Really happy to see this thread and hear all about the plans!
Ours will be a quick ceremony incorporated into our holiday, and I'd love to hear about the legalities required, if you have any advice.

p-pincher

Hi starrystarrynight

We've researched New York quite a bit. Firstly you need to apply for your marraige licence, you can either do it online upto approx 21 days before or in person at the new york marraige bureau. You nees 2 forms of id, weve got a long birth cert eac and passport any divorce papers if you've been married before. Once you have your license you need to wait 24 hours before you can use it. Then you can get married at the marraige bureau or arrange your own officiant and get married in loads of differnet places (church, central park, rockerfeller centre etc etc). The licnense and marraige ceremony at the bureau caost about $60 (bargain!!).

Check out these 2 website, the first is the official marraige bureau website, the second is a bril blog (scroll down to the step by step instructions on how to elope in New York). Theres loads of info on these 2.

http://www.cityclerk.nyc.gov/html/marriage/ceremony.shtml

http://elopenewyork.com/search/label/City%20Hall

Clare X

kittendothroar

Thanks for such a useful post, we are weighing up pros and cons of getting married abroad - pro - cheaper for us overall - con - not all the family can afford/ want to travel to a hot country...

Vikki_74

Thanks everyone for the useful advice so far, and for sharing details of your own big days - they all sound fab!

poppyscorner wrote: »

Because we were getting married abroad the airline (if you advise them in advance) gave me a seperate 5kg allowance free of charge to carry my dress for me BUT it had to go in the hold ! Yes I know I stressed til it got off at the other side too lol.

:eek: Yes that's definately something that's stressing me out!! Who did you fly with by the way to get an extra 5kg? Had you booked your wedding through them or did you just tell them you were getting married? I'm so used to having 2 x 23kg with Virgin but now you have to pay for a second case so an extra little bit for free would help.

poppyscorner wrote: »

the price to hire all 3 was £150 back then with the extended time

I know it was 5 years ago, but that's a lot more reasonable than I thought it might be. Will have to get on to H2B about going and making some enquiries so we have a rough idea of the cost, but it does at least sound do-able.

poppyscorner wrote: »

Hair and makeup - I suppose it depends whats in the area but you may find that if its a popular wedding place they will have some contacts already.

There is quite a lot in the area and it is a pretty popular place for weddings so I would guess either the wedding company or our hotel (who have also been super helpful) would know someone. Think I'll have a look around for some piccies before we go so I can show them exactly what I want.

Birdie85 wrote: »

This is my dress (in 'light gold'), it's a special destinations dress so there's just the one layer and it is really loose and lightweight. The dress shop have said that they will pack it into a carry-on case and I'm taking it as hand luggage. If it gets creased in situ, there's a steaming service at the hotel.

That's a gorgeous dress Birdie . I'd rather take mine as hand luggage too if I can to avoid the stress of it going in the hold! Definately going to ask the hotel about steaming too - I'd hate to be stuck with a crinkled wedding dress and no way to sort it out.

Birdie85 wrote: »

I don't want him all red and sweaty because he's wearing too many layers!

That's what I'm a bit bothered about too if H2B goes for the full morning suit, waistcoat, cravat malarkey.
Don't want him looking like this guy --> :mad: :rotfl:

Birdie85 wrote: »

We're having a party when we get back at OH's rugby club and I'm going to decorate with lots of bright colours to bring some of the Caribbean vibe back home.

Love the idea of bringing the Caribbean feel back with you for the reception - will have to get my thinking cap on about how to do something similar for ours.

Birdie85 wrote: »

The good thing about getting married abroad is that I can wear my dress twice, which is very MSE when you think about it!

Glad I'm not the only one who wants the chance to be a bride twice! And yes it's very MSE - you could almost justify spending more on the dress in the first place if you think about it :rotfl:

Vikki_74

kittendothroar wrote: »

Thanks for such a useful post, we are weighing up pros and cons of getting married abroad - pro - cheaper for us overall - con - not all the family can afford/ want to travel to a hot country...

We had the idea of getting married abroad pretty much as soon as we got engaged but asked all of the close family we wanted there if they would be able to come before setting our hearts on it. My main worry was people not being able to afford to come as flights to California are pretty much always £500+ but it hasn't been a problem.

For me, as well as being cheaper than having a big wedding here, it's also been a lot less stressful - the wedding company we're using sorts out our marriage licence and all the site permits for where we want the ceremony, transport to and from our hotel, flowers, photography etc and we haven't had to worry about bridesmaids dresses, suits for the best man/ushers as we're not having any!

We both have slightly "difficult" familiies where various aunties/uncles/grandparents don't speak to each other and wouldn't come to the wedding if they knew the other person was attending, so getting married abroad has also removed all the issues of who we do & don't invite. They'll all be invited to the reception when we get back and hopefully will come and just not speak to each other, but it won't be the worst thing in the world if they choose not to attend - I'd be a lot more disappointed if that happened at my actual wedding.

If it's what you want to do and the people you most want to be there can come, then I say do it. And yes, you're likely to choose somewhere with nice weather as that's part of the point, but you wouldn't have to go somewhere that hot or that far away if you didn't want to.

northwest1965

p-pincher wrote: »

Hi starrystarrynight

You nees 2 forms of id, weve got a long birth cert eac and passport any divorce papers if you've been married before.

Clare X

Help me out Claire please:rotfl:
I cant see on the City Hall website where it says you need 2 forms of I.D?
I'm glad you pointed it out to me though, I thought we just needed our passports.

We're off to NYC City Hall to get married in October. (Postponed from April because of medical emergency)