About to split from husband worried about money

nsimpson123

Hi, thankyou for all your kind replies,
just to update you all, we told the kids what was happening today, i.e that he was leaving. They seem to have taken it all in after the initial tears , however about an hour after telling them husband disappeared and hasn't returned yet! Yes he's left me to all their questions - I'm furious!

To be honest I wouldn't want either of the kids to go with him, not that I think he'd really want them, I think he thinks he's gonna be young, free and single again at 40 years of age!!

We own our house with a mortgage so from the various posts it seems I may be able to get help with this, does anyone know who I need to speak to? Sorry I'm a bit naive - never thought I would be in this position it's all a bit of a shock!

Luckily I have got my own account where my wages get paid into, but what I earn won't get us very far which is why I was wondering how long it would take to get any benefits - anyone know?

Thanks again for all your help
Nicky x

hippychick1

Hi there.

When I separated from my husband, I'm sure once I told tax credits, it was within a week or two that I started getting a revised rate. They seemed to be on the ball. Also let your council know, as you will get 25% discount on council tax.

Try www.entitledto.co.uk I got a pretty good estimate from that site.

Are you ok? You sound like this has come as a shock. Hope you are alright xxx

property.advert

You need to get online / on the phone and get the forms ASAP. Backdating is difficult and the sooner you get it sorted the better. If your claims are in without all the information it does not matter, it will be sorted out. The same goes for your mortgage interest.

How do you pay bills like the mortgage ? Speak to them ASAP. You are not the first for sure, even this week !

I'm a bloke and I cannot stand guys who just walk away. I'm not saying that everything can be fixed but walking away is not the way to deal with things. I hope he has left you cash but it sounds as though he has not.

Medium term, unless all his mates are runaway fathers themselves, I'd give one or two a call and see if they can have a word about some cash for the kids. It might make him a little embarrassed and he might think about doing the right thing.

Apart from that, you've got to switch into survival mode. Cut back on expenditure, reduce bills, watch the pennies etc. At least until you get the benefits sorted and some financial help from your husband. Get your council tax benefit forms in and claim the single discount.

This might blow over. Maybe you would like it to, maybe not. Life on your mate's couch is not that great for sure.

Best of luck to you.

[Deleted User]

Can u sit him down if he reappears again, try to keep away from the emotional side of things and discuss cold hard brass tacks. What he is prepared to pay to help support the family, what will happen to any savings the two of u have.., tell him u need a date when he is going to move out. Can u form a little nest eggg to help u manage in the interim period?

I know its hard, but having been in the same situation where a partner left with no warning at all, and being left with £6 to feed the children til benefits were started, like others have said u need to get down to survival mode.

Phone tax credits, tell them u are splitting up and living as two single people, and start making revised claims now. They will often, if u ask, give u a rough idea how much the revised claim with bring in (well they did with me).

diable

If he just disappears and comes back when he wants to I'd change the locks if I was you as it could be upsetting for you and the children if he just pops around when he wants to. I suppose the idiot is going through a cough "mid life crisis"

Jo_R_2

Re: the benefits, I claimed as soon as he moved out (he left on the Saturday, I got the ball rolling immediately with Tax Credits.)

You can phone up Tax Credits now, as I gather you haven't claimed before then get together info such as NI number and job details (they like to know all sorts of things about your job, including how much you will have earned this past tax year and how much you think you will earn this particular tax year.) I found my single claim details came through a lot quicker than anything than had happened with my previous joint claim, which I'm sure the advisor mentioned something about.

You will be able to claim a single person discount on the Council Tax, but you need to inform them of this so give them a call as well.

IIRC, mortgage interest payments go through the Job Centre - hopefully someone can come along and clarify this or you could pop over and ask on the Benefits board as I think there is paperwork you have to sort out.

As you are married I think arranging child maintenance can end up being arranged differently if/when you divorce as it can be set by the court, but if you go to the CSA website they do have a calculator where you can work out what he should be paying as a guideline (for 2 kids it's 20% of his net income, so you'll need to know what he earns.)

Re: the DMP, not sure what happens with this but why not go over to the Debt-Free Wannabe board and ask as am sure they'll know.

Also, make an appointment at the bank and explain the situation so they can put stops on as much as they can, but I think you'll still have responsibility for the account until it's ultimately sorted out, so beware of this.

Hope that helps a little x

floss2

While he is out, you could do with finding & hiding the following for future use - take copies at work if you can & return them to where they live:

his NI number
his recent bank statements
his pension fund details
his employers name & address
details of any endowments / joint life insurance policies
details of any joint savings accounts you have
details of any joint bank accounts
details of any joint credit cards


Also, locate paperwork for anything he used to sort out like car insurance, house contents & building insurance, life insurance, mobile phones, utilities bills, council tax, TV licence, cable / sky, phone bills - it is so much easier to change things into your own name if you have the account number.

Remember to ring the bank, the CSA (you'll find his NI number useful here) & the tax credits people first thing tomorrow.

saygoodbyetothese

Jo_R wrote: »

As you are married I think arranging child maintenance can end up being arranged differently if/when you divorce as it can be set by the court, but if you go to the CSA website they do have a calculator where you can work out what he should be paying as a guideline (for 2 kids it's 20% of his net income, so you'll need to know what he earns.)

The CSA have almost exclusive rights to deal with child maintenance (irrespective of other family proceedings such as divorce/separation). The court will only deal with child maintenance in special limited circumstances (e.g. if a child has a disability or if you pay private school fees).

Oldernotwiser

I'm afraid that you can only get help with your mortgage payments if you're claiming means tested JSA or IS, neither of which is appropriate for you.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/On_a_low_income/DG_180321

nsimpson123

Thanks guys - you've all given me lots of hints about things I hadn't even thought of - i.e getting his NI number and pension details, thankyou

He did reappear this morning at 2:00a.m!!!! Out of his skull and with no key banging on the front door, so today I have felt totally knackered, it has been a horrible weekend, one I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy

I have told him I want him out of the house within two weeks and I'm going to try and ring the benefits people tomorrow and see what I need to do x