DD overweight, but what more can I do?

Youdontseeme

I posted this a while back when someone else had a similar question and while I hate to repeat myself ... I can't help it! It is something I feel passionate about.

I do hope her father isn't saying things to her about her weight??

Youdontseeme wrote: »

I was an overweight child, puppy fat they used to call it!

My mother has also has battled with her weight her whole life, so at the age of 6 ( yes 6!) she took me to my first slimming club, I was made to have “special” meals at school, and this went on all through my teens, Weight Watchers, Slimming World, various other clubs and even Jenny Craig, all before I was 14.

I am now still overweight, I have been skinny, bigger than I am now, tried laxatives, throwing up (too greedy for that to last long) gone from going to the gym twice a day, every day, to not moving off my backside for weeks on end.

I battle with my foodie demons every day, I eat when I’m sad, I eat when I’m happy, all of my emotions revolve around food and my (lack of) control of it
.
I realise things have changed and this is probably fairly extreme and this isn’t the way people would go these days, but I could not not tell you how it has effected me.

While now I realise she did it because she didn’t want me to have the same problems as her and her constant dieting, I blamed her for all of my low self esteem issues and to be honest still do to some extent.

My Mother also feels incredibly guilty about this now as once I just mentioned if she thought she’d left me alone I would have done it by myself, and she admitting she has cried about it, when she sees how unhappy I am about it now and also wonders if it is her fault.

I know she did it because she loved me, but you can’t undo the stuff that goes on in my head. (Although I do know now that I can’t blame her forever and that I do have to take responsibility for my own problems)

As long as your daughter isn’t stuffing her face with c**p then don’t mention food or her weight to her, as its amazing the little throw away comments that stick in your head, even when your that young.

Up her exercise a little, start taking her swimming or make a thing of just you and her going for a walk so it becomes a little bit of “mum and daughter” time, make sure she is as fit as she can be, even if she is a little bigger and also hopefully bring you closer, so that if in the future she turns around as says something about her weight you are in a good place to talk to her properly about it.

Good luck!
YDSM

roves1

Without mentioning it, cut down her calorie content or food portion size ever so slightly, and the tummy will go in a few months without any need for extra exercise or a diet regime.

Overweight kids can go through hell at school, there is more to being overweight than bmi's, and you don't need bmi's to know whether someone is overweight or not, it should be obvious.

Fruit has calories and sugar too.

pandora205

I just found this calculator that gives percentiles and BMI for children:http://www.blubberbuster.com/height_weight.html

It is American though.

Pete*G_4

20.8 for an adult is at the lower end of the scale for an adult; under 20 is deemed "underweight", 20-25 is excellent, 25-30 often deemed "overweight" but in the real world is perfectly acceptable. 30-35 means you're medically deemed to be obese, but in reality most people who want to shed just a few pounds fall into this category.

BMI is a flawed concept. It doesn't take into account anything other than height and weight. To put into perspective, Jonny Wilkinson (England Rugby), David Beckham (England Football), George Clooney (Actor) and David Haye (World Champion Boxer) are all technically obese using BMI. You wouldn't say that to look at them though.

Children's BMI scales are lower than adults because their bone densities are not as great, and thus their mass is a lower %age of good muscle/bone/tissue and a higher %age of water/fat etc.

A 7 year old girl should (according to the NHS) have a BMI of between 15 and 17, with anything 17-19 being "overweight" and 20+ "obese"... in reality, based on me doing monthly health assessments for the last 7 years with between 30 and 50 different kids on any given course, these figures are skew-iff slightly. I would put 15-17 as being excellent, 17-18 good/acceptable, 20-21 acceptable/overweight-ish. anything above 21 I would be looking at the child's diet first and foremost, but then thats because they all do at least 1-2 hours a week with me, plus between 3 and 4 hours a week "PE" at school.

With all that taken into account, the flawed concept of BMI is obvious. kids that do a lot of activity will have denser bones (as exercise causes them to grow stronger like this) and thus the child will weigh more, giving a higher BMI reading. Bearing in mind kids give their parents enough to worry about these days, I find it ridiculous that the GPs of the organisation supposedly set up to look after our medical, physical, and mental wellbeing are actively worrying parents over whether their child is "fat" or not.

Pete*G_4

pandora205 wrote: »

I just found this calculator that gives percentiles and BMI for children:http://www.blubberbuster.com/height_weight.html

It is American though.

ignore it. BMI is a fatally flawed concept and should have been discontinued YEARS ago. With the low cost of Biometric Impedance testing (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bioelectrical_impedance_analysis) there are far more accurate ways of deciding if someone - young or old - needs some help with their weight. My own Bodystat clinical grade BioImpedance meter cost me less than £400 through the trade and I'm sure the NHS would get it cheaper. if every GP had one instead of relying on the chart on the wall, there'd be less worried parents and those with weight issues would get more guidance as to where they should start looking to make changes in their diet/training/lifestyle.

DianeM

Hi there,
I've not read all of the responses but can advise that once she hits puberty she may lose the weight naturally.
I work in the fitness industry and was in the same boat. My dd was wearing size 15/16 years at 11. She has not dieted is now 16years, 5.5" tall and is now a healthy size 8/10.
Good luck x

Quiet_Life

Be really careful, my friend's daughter was told by someone at school that she was fat when she was 10 and small in height for her age. She took it to heart and became obsessed with losing weight... now in her early 20s she has been battling anorexia for many years.

Kavanne

chocdonuty wrote: »

I have thought about taking her to the doctors but I'm worried about making an issue of her weight when there may not be one, I suppose it doen't help that I'm short and dumpy, lol ( 5'3 and size 18) so she does take after me and to some extent other members of the family too.

Maybe you could start trying to shift your pounds and encourage daughter to get into it with you too? Otherwise, I think it's going to be hard to trick her. Either that or try and reduce her portion sizes but in a way she can't tell (a bit less mashed potato and stew, cut her fruit up before giving it to her, etc)

Or you could just keep an eye on it for now

shirlgirl2004

I think although she may not be obese she probably is carrying a little more weight than ideal. I'd go for reducing portion size slightly and cutting the junk food. It is so much easier to change eating habits at this age rather than waiting until they can sneak out and buy their own junk. Achieveing 5 a day should be no problem for a child of this age so she should be bulking up on veg so meals don't look tiny.

msb5262

"they do between 3 and 4 hours a week "PE" at school"
quote from Pete*G in post #25

Sorry to have to tell you, PE lessons in school take up no more than 2 hours a week in any primary school where I've ever taught.
Government initiatives have been aiming at 2 hours a week as standard.
My class gets about an hour and a half maximum; we have one hour in the school hall each week, if the hall hasn't been pinched for something else, and the weather isn't that reliable so outdoor PE is a bit hit and miss for most of the year.
We'll have to hope that our children play vigorous games outside to increase their hours of exercise - with a school week of only 25 hours, and 10 hours of that taken up with numeracy and literacy, there's not a lot of time left in the timetable.
MsB