How resentful are you?

teb_2

Honest feedback needed here.

We were £20K in debt and we've worked like trojens to get money towards it. Both partner and me have done extra shifts whenever we could and we've sold everything of any value we had. Whats bugging me is my bike. It went too and I'm dead resentful about it. I've worked long shifts for years and it was the only thing I ever got that was mine. It wasn't new or anything but it was mine. partner didn't keep anything worthwhile and I knew I couldnt keep my bike cos it was worth a few thousand and that wouldnt have been fair but I cant stop feeling p*ssed off about it. I try not to act like theres anything wrong cos its not her fault and it was only fair but it doesnt stop me from feeling crap.

When you sell stuff to help pay things off do you do it happily?

Ive been told i shouldnt have a problem with it and I do see the bigger picture but i know i feel like a sulky kid inside. This paying off debt business sucks!! Sorry for moanin I know loads of folk have got it much worse than me.

QueenB.

Can't say i feel resentful, but then we don't have anything worth that much to sell otherwise i would do it like a shot.

I feel bad though as we don't have alot anyway, most of our furniture is damaged or broken or secondhand, we have very little of anything but nothing of real value and selling the little bits we can makes the house look bare. It makes me feel like when we started out 14 years ago which is depressing:o

But i could live with all that if it wasn't for the fact i have 3 children and i hate explaining that mummy had to sell that, or no we can't buy that, i even feel embrassed when they ask to have anyone over as the place is just so run down:o

I can understand how you feel though, i have a guitar, which is worth nothing really, but i love it. If i thought it would bring in any real money i would sell it but i would feel so torn up about it.

All i can suggest is plan for the time when you are debt free and can afford another bike it may help alittle.

moozie_2

I am slightly the opposite. I am resentful I got myself into this much debt and have nothing worth more than a few pounds to sell! I am even beginning to run out of things to sell on ebay/Amazon now which is grating on me as that means my additional repayments every month may slow down.

I suppose it is all about perspective. I am sure when you are debt free, you will be buying another bike and you will be enjoying it even more then, happy in the knowledge you don't owe any money and you worked hard to get there.

You are not a sulky kid as you said, you are only human :grouphug:

8pnoodles

When I got together with my other half he had debts of £32k and I owed around £10k. Wow, over £40k together! Scary!

I never hassled him to sell his motorbike, he'd gone ballistic at his ex who'd told him to sell it.

He saw me selling a ton of stuff, to help with me debts, and knew he could sell his bike and clear a credit card. He has a lot to show for his debts, a very nice car, a motorbike, two whitewater kayaks and a ton of camera gear.

He ended up selling his bike because we worked out together if he sold his bike he'd save £100 a month straight away on his credit card repayments. Plus he'd never have to fork out for insurance, servicing, repairs again. He was nearly in tears selling it but he came to the decision on his own. If he wanted I have told him the first thing we'll do out of debt is save for another one. But he's realised he hasn't ridden it for a year before selling it, we had so much trouble trying to store it and it getting pushed over, it's quite nice not having it around any more!

He's now even thinking of getting rid of the car andthe kayaks too!

He sent me a cool picture of the wads of cash he got for his bike. He was miserable too cos he sold it for £200 less than he wanted to. Put he was paying a fortue in advertising, he'd ahd people emss him around, so when he had this offer, I did talk him into it. But I never suggested he sell the bike in the first place.

Did you partner hassle you into selling the bike? Is that why you are resentful? Have you sat down and worked out exactly what you are saving every single month in terms of insurance, the reduction in debt repayments and saving on the interest of your debts over the next however long?

Can you decide to save for one once you're debt free?

Debt is horrible. I haven't sold anything I didn't want to but I have had to cut back on a lot of stuff, and it really gets to me when people go out all the time and go on nice holidays and I can't. I tell myself they are getting in debt to do it and that makes me feel better.

My other half gets so upset when he sees bikers on the road. We try and guess how much debt they are in and it makes us feel better.

saubryn

Initially, when selling stuff, I was cool about it, but I sold a ton of books that were really high value - collectibles, signed, rare editions, that kind of thing. There were two I wanted to keep because they had strong sentimental value - I accidentally sold one of them - got next to nothing for it too

I've been finding lately that I've forgotten what I've sold and what I hadn't - I was in a heated discussion about Blakes 7 recently, and went to look up something in a reference book I thought I still had - nope, sold that

When that kind of thing happens, I do feel resentful. The only stuff I have left now is junk that wouldn't fetch 10p in a jumble sale.

poppy_f1

i had to sell my car and buy a really cheap runaround to pay off debt and i was gutted about it going but its all worked out in the long run

piglet6

Can only half relate to this, because we haven't sold much to pay off our debts (therefore, I haven't had to give up something I loved that I already owned...).

However, we have taken on extra jobs to make more money to throw at the debt (from January to July this year I worked 12+ hr shifts 7 days a week, with the exception of 4 weekends when we had "family occasions", i.e. parents b'days, and they came to stay for the weekend, so not a lot of relaxation time then either as we were busy playing host/hostess). This included working all bank holidays. As a result, I did feel resentful that I wasn't able to relax and join in plans with friends/family:mad:. Every penny I got paid for doing my second job (weekends/bank holidays) I threw at the credit card, and this got to me as well, because when you are working so hard and can't see anything in the way of treats to make you feel better about it, it is a bit depressing. The thing I had to keep reminding myself of was that my debt was reducing (and now I have paid off that credit card, it feels great - towards the end I was totally obsessed with checking my balance online and working out interest/payments:rolleyes:, but it did turn it into a positive experience!). I also had to keep reminding myself that the reason I couldn't use the extra money for treats to reward myself for working so hard, was because I had already treated myself in the past, when I hadn't been working that hard, and that was the reason for the bills in the first place - I really enjoyed life a few years ago (when my salary didn't match my spending!:eek:) and that was when I bought designer clothes, spent a fortune on shoes, holidays, meals out and nights partying.

In truth, I guess it was a lesson to me, and although it has felt a bit harsh at times, it is one worth learning - if I want to live the high life on credit, it will eventually catch up with me and need paying for...:o

From now on, I am converted to using cash for small purchases, and saving up for large purchases before I get them. Everything I own is mine and I want to owe nothing to anybody!:D

Piglet

themaccas

I feel resentful for the things I can't have/do/buy. I have nothing of real value to sell apart from my car, bought brand new last October pre lightbulb but that only has a year left on the loan and will be paid off next Sept and I need a car for my 80 mile round trip to work. With hindsight I would have bought a cheaper older car. In fact I wonder why I don't really maybe I should look into it...hmm you've got me thinking, I could raise around 3-4K to pay off our debts and still have money for a cheap er car
I get more frustrated with OH who is a gadget freak though has tamed this side of him since January. However he has 2 very expensive watches - a rolex and a Breitling both worth over 2K. I bought him the Breiting for his 40th last year (prelightbulb) (with cash) but I would love him to sell one of them. He has made it clear that it is a sale too far and he wants to keep them though I am still working on him about the Rolex!

Kevicho

Resentful or not, the best peice of advice anyone could give you is deal with it and move on.

I went through a period of this and sat down one day with my thoughts and resolved them in a way that was benficial for me, i feel much happier now, also I think this journey is making me a much stronger person in so many ways.

Annie_Fanny

Kevicho wrote:

Resentful or not, the best peice of advice anyone could give you is deal with it and move on.

I went through a period of this and sat down one day with my thoughts and resolved them in a way that was benficial for me, i feel much happier now, also I think this journey is making me a much stronger person in so many ways.

Totally agree with the above. If I feel resentful then I feel resentful towards myself - but then again this is only destructive and instead I have chosen to inform myself as much as possible in order to be financially savvy. I still have a long way to go but I know a lot more then I did about a year ago. I am so glad that I picked up Martin Lewis' book all those years ago.

Annie_Fanny

themaccas wrote:

I feel resentful for the things I can't have/do/buy. I have nothing of real value to sell apart from my car, bought brand new last October pre lightbulb but that only has a year left on the loan and will be paid off next Sept and I need a car for my 80 mile round trip to work. With hindsight I would have bought a cheaper older car. In fact I wonder why I don't really maybe I should look into it...hmm you've got me thinking, I could raise around 3-4K to pay off our debts and still have money for a cheap er car
I get more frustrated with OH who is a gadget freak though has tamed this side of him since January. However he has 2 very expensive watches - a rolex and a Breitling both worth over 2K. I bought him the Breiting for his 40th last year (prelightbulb) (with cash) but I would love him to sell one of them. He has made it clear that it is a sale too far and he wants to keep them though I am still working on him about the Rolex!

What is it about watches? I just don't get it?