Aggggghhh

vicki+1

Getting married on 30th July, finding it all stressful enough. BUt my sister has been admitted to a psychiatric ward today with depression. She has had periods of depression over the last few years, following the birth of her child. But she has never been admitted before. Part of me is pleased coz hopefully she will finally get the assessment and treatment to sort her out properly. But part of me knows psychiatric wards are not nice places
I don't know if she will be out in time for the wedding, but i suppose we will go ahead anyway because if we don't i don't know when our next chance will be, and i don't have insurance. BUt it would be like a big cloud over it if she were not there/unwell.
My mum has now obviously got to help look after her child while she is in hospital, my mum is supposed to be decorating my m&S cake and doing my bouquet. I know she really wants to do them but i don't wont to tip poor mum over the edge.

Thannks for listening, Aggggh agggh agggh

Primmer

Hugs Vics - try to look at it as a positive thing and that your sister is now getting the help which she really needs. Your wedding is still a way of yet and so don't worry yourself about her not being there. As for your mum, maybe you could help to look after the little one whilst she helps with the cake and flowers.

Emu53

ahh that is unfortunate, but it is the best thing for your sis, I dont know much about psychiatric wards but I dont think there as bad as you probably think, (just hearing it makes me think straight jackets, bars and vacant people spaced out on drugs- but my friends sister has been in more than one over the years and there not at all like that!)
would your sister be able to get day release if she stuck to certain conditions?to be back at a certain time, to be chaperoned, no drink, that sort of thing? i guess that depends on the hosp and how she is while she's ther, (assuming she's still there in july as it is still a way off)

hope everything works out for you and your family xx

bubbles0169

oh (((hugs)))
as the others have said you still have a couple of months and if i remember rightly its about six weeks before the meds get you on an even keel so she might just make it!
could you have a word with the hospital staff to see if they can tell you anything?
as for your mum helping you out, you still have plenty of time for her to do it and if she really doesnt have the chance you could just put some pretty flowers around your cake like this

vicki+1

I am an adult nurse (not mental health) so i know a little bit about teh system. I am hoping that when she gets there they won't admit her but will send her home with some sort of intensive crisis intervention team. Anyhow she will not be under section as she is there voluntarily. She is not a risk to anyone else and whilst she often talks about suicide she has no plans for this at present (as far as i know). So i am sure they would be able to come for the wedding (the question is wether she will feel well enough to go).

wolfehouse

has she mentioned how she feels about your wedding?
it could be an incentive/goal for her to work toward. and as said before the meds should kick in by then.

they really really don't like to keep people in hospital, even under tratment orders if they think they could get treatment in the community.

I am kind of in the same situation with dd in hospital (supposed to be a bridesmaid).
I intend to take advice from staff (or the community mental health team depending on where she is at the time) to make things as least stressful to for her as possible.
could she come to only part and leave if she doesn't want to stay?
is there someone who can buddy up with her for the day?
best wishes for your day

bubbles0169

sorry i deleted that pic in my photobucket as im trying to clear 12 pages of them! did you get to see it?
i hope your sis does feel well enough to go xx

vicki+1

Thankfully she has a very supportive husband. This is going to be a ver y relaxed wedding. there are loads of kids so no pomp and ceremony, so hopefully she will be able to come to some of it.
Her depression kind of clicks on like a button and then after after a couple of months of medication, has just clicked off in the past. When she is well she is slightly manic (IMO she is bipolar), but not in the opinion of her gp. When she is slightly manic she isn't really really high, just bounces along a few inches above the rest of us.
If she gets over her depression in time she will be offering to do everything, the cake, the flowers, the organising, looking after the children.

vicki+1

bubbles0169 wrote: »

sorry i deleted that pic in my photobucket as im trying to clear 12 pages of them! did you get to see it?
i hope your sis does feel well enough to go xx

Thanks bubbles, i am not really worried about the cake, and i don't care if i have flowers or not. But my mum is going to feel like she is a failure if she doesn't do it, and then we might end up with another mental health problem :eek:.

All i want to do is go and get married and have my friends and family there. I couldn't care less if none of the colours match, or if the kids have to decorate the cake with love hearts on the day. But my mum can't see that. She is getting her knickers in a knot worrying about colour schemes etc.

bubbles0169

ah the dreaded i dont care but so and so does wedding bug!
its very common unfortunatly and all i can prescribe is a surf board to ride it out!
just let your mum know that she doesnt HAVE to worry about those things as your not and shel only make herself ill aswell

vicki+1

As i keep saying to my mum, my sister had a matching bouquet, dress, invitations, cake etc etc etc . and it didn't do her much good.
I cannot stand materialism, and the whole thing is getting right on my ******* nerves to be honest. If i had my way i would turn up with df at the registry office with a few friends, get married then go and have fish and chips (heaven). However as things are at the moment and in the best interests of everyone i think i will just climb aboard that surf board and shut my eyes