joint mortgage unmarried with children and splitting up

tweetie_pie_3

Hi
I have been a member of this forum for a long time but registered again to get some advice

1 have been with my partner for 17 years we are unmarried we have 2 children together and i have 2 from a previous relationship

I had a council house in my name but 7 years ago we decided to buy it in joint names and as i was a council tenant for a certain amount of years i got us a discount of 32k which was deducted from the value of the house

My partner has just been made redundant after 18 years and i dont work as i injured my ankle a year ago and i am waiting on physio to try to put it right

We have decided to split up as our relationship hasnt been loving for a number of years and all we do is argue which isnt good for the children

My partner hasnt got anywhere to go and i cant afford the mortgage as i have no money coming in at all apart from child benefit

Can someone give me some advice on what to do, where i stand and what benefits i will be entitled to

As my partner has no where to go he says he is staying here until i force him out which i dont really want to do but i cant carry on like this

My 2 children from a previous relationship is 21 he works and 17 and his at college and gets ema
Our children are 15 and shes leaving school in may hoping to go to college and a 12 year old

I want to make this as easy as i can for the children and i really need to know what are the rights over the house as i have full parental responsibility over our children as we never married

Thankyou in advance for any advice you can give me

I will also say that it got so bad a took an over dose last week and ended up in hospital i have tried for years to make this relationship work but i havnt had any love shown towards me and it all came to a head
yes i know i shouldnt have let it get that far but rejection hurts

brians_daughter

oh tweetie pie... what an awful time for you at the minute.

Are you getting support from GP/family/friends?

If you have tried to make the relationship work, then you have done all you can, you now must focus on you and your children. You must not feel guilty for your relationship not working out...its emotionally and pphysically draining and you need to focus your attention and efforts elsewhere at the moment

You need to get an appointment with a solicitor - you may get legal aid (if you dont most offer 30 mins free so you know where you stand)

http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/calculators/eligiCalc?execution=e1s1

The above link will help you asses if you qualify or not.

We can all offer advice but you must see legal and medical experts to assist you.

Your ex should really consider the kids in all this, and if you two are unhappy the kids are unhappy.

Please get help medically and legally asap.

Good luck to you and your children, we will support you every step of the way x

zzzLazyDaisy

I couldn't read and run (((hugs)))

You need legal advice. You have no income so you will be entitled to legal aid. That doesn't mean the legal advice is free, but it does mean that you don't have to pay for it until everything is sorted out - and if you can't afford to pay for it then, it can be paid out of the house if/when you eventually sell at some future date. Your solicitor will explain all this.

On the face of it your OH is entitled to half the house but you may be entitled to stay in the house until the youngest leaves school. You may also be entitled to a larger share of the net proceeds of sale. Unfortunately you do not have as much protection under the law as if you were married and seeking a divorce, but things are changing all the time with cases going through the courts. You really need to seek legal advice from a solicitor about this.

You will be entitled to benefits - sorry I can't help with this but I am sure other MSE'rs will show up who have information but in the meantime go to entitledto.co.uk (might be .com) and put your details in as if you are a single parent with only your child benefit and child tax credits, and it will give you an idea of what you will be entitled to.

Hopefully your oh will get work again soon, at that point you will be entitled to maintenance, and if you are on income support you are now allowed to keep maintenance over and above your IS payments, maintenance is also not counted for tax credits or council tax benefit.

Re your oh refusing to move out - again you need to see a solicitor.

Keep coming back here, there will be people who can help you.

Hugs

Daisy

EDITED because I had missed the point that OP is not married so this is not a divorce situation. Apologies.

tweetie_pie_3

i went to my gp and im on antidepresents have been for 6 weeks

I havnt got many friends but my 2 good friends will help me

I dont have very much to do with my family only my dad and sister

I just dont know what to do any more and i cant put my children through this or me get so low that i want to take an over dose again

RAS

tweetie pie

You need to start reading www.entitledto.com, as you could formally separate, live in the same house in the short-term amd get the mortage (interest anyway) paid along with other benefits.

Is there a benefits advice service anywhere near you?

You need to get signed up urgently.

brians_daughter

tweetie, glad you are getting help from GP and friends. You must call a solicitor once you have been you will feel like a weight has been lifted - nothing is worse than 'not knowing' - i can say this as i have been through a split with kids and joint assests. Please ring now to book an appointment, let us know when it is...

Best bet is to ring a few local solicitors and see who can see you 1st for the free 30 mins - get some general advice, then look into a 'long term' solicitor....

Gloomendoom

tweetie_pie wrote: »

I havnt got many friends but my 2 good friends will help me

You have loads of friends on here.

Have you considered going to your local Citizens Advice Bureau? They may be able to help you sort this out.

This might be useful... Linky

samandona

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

On the face of it your OH is entitled to half the house BUT BUT BUT that is only the starting point, from there things are adjusted to take into account lots of other factors, and the fact that you have children to take care of, and that the house was yours first and a large part of the value of the house came from your discount, will also be taken into account so you will almost certainly be entitled to a bigger share, and also to stay there until your youngest leaves full time education, at least. Again your solicitor will explain your rights to you.

Just wanted to point out, as far as I know that it totally wrong. It would make no difference how much either of you have paid, or how much of a discount you got. If the house is in joint names it is 50% his and 50% yours. End of. You can't force him out, but he won't be able to force sale of the house if you live there and have children under 18. Atleast not until the eldest is an adult anyway.

Best of luck in this difficult situation

zzzLazyDaisy

samandona wrote: »

Just wanted to point out, as far as I know that it totally wrong. It would make no difference how much either of you have paid, or how much of a discount you got. If the house is in joint names it is 50% his and 50% yours. End of. You can't force him out, but he won't be able to force sale of the house if you live there and have children under 18. Atleast not until the eldest is an adult anyway.

Best of luck in this difficult situation

This is not completely true.

What is true is that an unmarried partner has far fewer rights when a relationship breaks down, than a married spouse has in a divorce situation. However the law has moved on and in recent cases property entitlement has been adjusted to account for the fact that there are children involved.

In any event it is also possible to get a stay of sale until the youngest has left school because the purpose of the trust (joint tenancy) was to provide a home for the family.

While it is difficult to get a joint owner out, it is not impossible.

OP needs proper legal advice from a solicitor on her own situation, and that isn;t something she can get from an internet forum, although we can offer her support.

However, I did miss the point that OP is not married, for which I apologise, and I have edited my post accordingly.

tweetie_pie_3

My partner(ex) is saying that until he finds a place he cant move out(which i fully understand) he has also said he wants to take some things which are joint and a tv what he bought out of his redundency money

I dont know how it stands with things in the property because he keeps changing his mind in what he is doing

At the moment money is still joint and so are the bills, i cant claim IS in my own right until he has left or can i?

I have tried ringing C.I.B but i all i get is answering machine i will also ring solicitors 2moro

I am quite prepared to leave him here and see if i can get a place with the children would the council help as i just want the situation resolved as the children are seeing this and im trying to stay calm and reasonable but he thinks im being mean and want him to be left with nothing but after 17 years of being with someone you love thats the last thing i want

Thankyou for all your information and advice so far it really is helping as i dont know where i stand and i just want it to be sorted out as quickly and as calm as possible

RAS

tweet pie.

Go to a solicitor and get help formally separating. Then claim in your own right.

Do you have any joint bank accounts?

And open a new one with a different bank. Get your benefits paid in there.