When a Parent emotionally abandons their Teen

chriszzz

My son is also studying performing arts in college and is nearing completing his 2nd year in college, he has his big play tomorrow and he has the main part, so as you can imagine we are all looking forward to going to watch him and to see how he has developed his acting skills but we are also looking forward to watching his colleagues as we have heard soooo much about them spoke to many of them that we feel their part of the family

Although its a very competitive buisness, he does have a back up and is not putting all his eggs in one basket.

I think what your daughter is doing in choosing musical theatre is absolutely a great way to develop every possible skill you can think of, she will come out of all this a fine young lady and hey you never know we might meet up one day watching them both on stage!!

loobyloo0302

PHB, cannot believe what I've just read through.. absolutely gutting! I just don't get what it is with men and the way that they just detatch themselves from their children. I really feel for you, completely. It's so bloody awful when a parent devastates a child just to get at the other - in this case, fuelled by the nrpp. How can some people be so cruel and so heartless?!

Sorry that I've no useful advice to give, but I had to reply as I really feel for you in your situation. When parents just forget their kids exist, and for the sake of what? I hope its all sorted soon!

PlayingHardball

loobyloo0302 wrote: »

PHB, cannot believe what I've just read through.. absolutely gutting! I just don't get what it is with men and the way that they just detatch themselves from their children. I really feel for you, completely. It's so bloody awful when a parent devastates a child just to get at the other - in this case, fuelled by the nrpp. How can some people be so cruel and so heartless?!

Sorry that I've no useful advice to give, but I had to reply as I really feel for you in your situation. When parents just forget their kids exist, and for the sake of what? I hope its all sorted soon!

don't worry about not giving useful advice, its just nice to have your kind support.

I don't get how some men can do it, you rarely hear of Mums doing this, do you?

In a lot of ways though, the ex has done her a favour and she seems happier on the whole.

It shocks me though that he could just stop financial support! He has a mixed up twisted idea that he's 'given me enough'! Never mind, we'll see what comes of all my pursuits, I would love to see the day come that he would be forced to support her. He can choose to emotionally support her, but I don't think any parent should have the ability to abandon their child financially, and right now there are too many loopholes that say they can! I tell you what, you'll see my on GMTV one of these days, I feel that strongly about these loopholes - sorry going off topic, but I guess its all part and parcel of the whole 'abandoned theme'

Chriszzz - small world, hope you enjoy your sons show! You are right, they need a backup career - we are thinking teaching as a backup. Maybe they'll both end up at one of the great schools in London, is your son thinking of anyone in particular? DD likes Urdang, Mountview and a couple others in her dream list of schools. Urdang is where she is auditioning in a couple of weeks (for audition experience, but who knows!) The college is fantastic where she can go locally.

I think it is great that so many people can come together on this site and offer support and experience.

Loopy_Girl

I've nothing much to add aside from empathy and sympathy PHB....it's an awful situation to be in and there is no pain like it watching your child's confusion as the other parent doesn't want to be involved.

My special star has had no contact ever...whether that makes it a worse situation that you I don't know.

In fact it came up the other day again as the BT advert came on...you know the one that the wee girl gets upset as Dad is always in a rush and Mum has a word and he phones from the landline....I knew the question was coming...

I always just answer truthfully...that you don't know why Dad is doing this, it makes you very sad but you love her very much and that when she is older then she can ask her Dad himself.
I'm not a great believer in karma but I do believe all these Fathers that think it's okay to abandon their children will bitterly regret it in years to come and I wouldn't blame any child, when they become and adult, to shut the door on their parent when they deem it suitable to make contact.

Big hugs to you and I'm always available via PM if you need a blether....

You're a great person doing a fantastic job of being a Mum. Unfortunately we can't make others love our kids like we do.

Take care xx

AnxiousMum

hehe, teaching is my son's back up career as well PHB Not a bad 'backup' though - and I think it's great for a kid to have high aspirations, with a more than suitable backup - many things can cause them to change their mind over the years!

I've read many of your posts on here PHB, and only hold admiration for you, your attitude towards raising your children, and the strength to keep fighting for what is right for the children.