CSA Mistakes-On verge of a breakdown

alwayspuzzled

BDT1 so sorry to hear how depressed you are feeling at the moment. I can totally understand why. My way of coping is I keep telling myself I can get through this one last thing, then when the next problem comes along I tell myself theres no point giving up now I can surely cope through one more crisis and so on and on. Happyness is rarely achieved but one small dd still has her daddy with her on a daily basis.

As Blonde Bint says if she suceeds in splitting you up then shes won. I've only been with my OH for nearly 6 years and have endured more than I could have ever believed in those, I frequently day dream of splitting up, but couldn't bear to leave him to cope on his own nor to split OH and DD, we've been for councelling recently and the counciller said but surely you realize it won't go on for ever, like anyones actually got a clue about quite how vindictive some exs are, I have come to believe that unless you've been in the situation its uncomprehendable as to what extent it effects your life. Both OH and I have had/are having treatment for depression, and tbh I don't even reconize him anymore.

I really hope the tribunal goes well for you. Sure they will have to see the truths that you are showing them. My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

omen666

bdt1 wrote: »

Well, Tribunal 2 weeks away, just sent last of the 400+ pages of Tribunal bundle to NACSA, and time will just wait and see what happens.

As result of CSA using my child benefit for my 4 children, my company expenses reimbursement, my CSA money for 2 ds from 1st hubs and insurance payout in my name only (I'm NRPP) over a 28 month period, all as my husbands assessable income in his CS case with his ex, they made a calculation and said we owed 34k arrears, got LO, CCJ, interim charge on house and rest is history. We proved twice to CSA with bank statements, and other documents how their error had occured, but then they 'lost' or mistakenly 'destroyed' this evidence, (ICO concluded they in breach of 6th & 7th Principle of Data Protection Act in our case)3rd time we sent our evidence it was to CSA Appeals and Case Worker just said 'Oh My God you're right', but she then proceeded to tell us she wouldn't change decision as PWC has told her that she would Appeal CSA Appeals decision regardless what it was, so may aswell go straight to Tribunal.

I'm not eating, or sleeping, just bursting into tears all of the time, trying to hold my job down, but struggling, and sorry to say but not the most patient with my children at present ( 1 doing GCSE's so stressful time anyway) and another aged 4 going on 14 (little Madam, who plays up best of times).I just feel i cannot go on like this,I'm a very strong woman, but even this has stumped me, if Tribunal make some silly decision (reason tells me they cannot, our evidence is so clear - but I don't trust anyone due to our experiences), what will we do - we will lose our home due to CSA mistakes and PWC just so bitter that's what she wants. She keeps asking when we givinh the 34k we owe, even though in the Tribunal bundle she will be able to see the errors!

We are/have always paid CS, and PWC currently fiddling that youngest dd in qualifying education despite no child benefit paid to PWC for 5 months prior to CSA informing her case closed. When CSA informed PWC case closed, she rang them and stated youngest dd is in qualifying education and she simply 'hadn't realised' child benefit, work tax credits or child tax credits not been paid to her - so hey presto CS reinstated. Without evidence of study of course

Just freaking out, want this sorted but cannot go on with the fall out from CSA mistakes, and as for my husband, currently not getting the lickings of a dog from me, after all whilst in my heart I know it isn't his fault, he met and reproduced with this poisonous creature, I just hope his dd's are better people.

Sorry, but fear if this doesn't get sorted there will be another NRP and children without their father, I cannot go on like this

Accronym explanations please guys:T

NRPP
NRP
CS
NACSA
ICO
PWC

Kimitatsu

omen666 wrote: »

Accronym explanations please guys:T

NRPP - Non resident parents partner
NRP - Non resident parent
CS - Child Support
NACSA - National Association for the Child Support Agency - see www.nacsa.org.uk
ICO - Independant complaints organisation also known as ICE, they are seperate from the CSA and are the impartial party.
PWC - Parent with care

bdt1 - try not to worry (I know SO easy to say) but if the CSA has ALREADY admitted that it is wrong then I fail to see how a tribunal could uphold any of the decisions which have been made. From the sounds of it the CSA has decided to pass it straight onto a tribunal to prevent the PWC appealing any further decisions and so dragging it out for any longer than it already has been.

Have you had any further success in finding out if the child is actually in educatin or not? Honestly some people are so bitter and twisted that they cannot see what they do to themselves and their children - at least there IS light at the end of the tunnel because in 18 months regardless of what she pulls then your liability will have ended.

As Kellogs said try to keep your mind off it and be kind to yourself - goodness knows we all have times when we are not very good parents and partners to our loved ones, the thing to do is to realise that this too will pass so not to beat yourself up about it. We too have had 10 years of similar bitterness from his ex (and we are on CS1) so I know just where you are coming from, but leaving your husband for that reason would let her win and you are close to the finishing post already. Keep us posted on how it goes but be prepared for an adjournement as the PWC finds some "new" information along the way.......

Blonde_Bint

:j:j:j

We are all routing for you Bdt1. Take some heart from the fact that you are reaching the end of your tunnel, your almost there chuck:). At 17 yrs of age you are almost at the post at which you can finally wipe that dog muck from the bottom of your boots for the final time :rotfl: (I know i shouldnt but .....:p)

Kelloggs has done it, and your up next might I suggest you do what i'm planning on doing, batten down the hatches, and its going to be putting me best shoulder forward ...... its a full on shoulder barge through the next 12 months for me from hereon in.

Our Roman ancestors would be proud of us :j Julius Ceaser would pin medals to us :jand the late but always great Sir Winston Churchill would roar us on to Victory :T:T

Can you believe someone once called me a drama queen:mad: can you :rotfl: basically bdt1 what i'm saying is this all the late greats "would fight on, alone if they have to, no matter what it costs us" So bdlt pack up that breakdown, (they're over rated anyway:p) stick it in a cardboard box and save it for another day.:)

chriszzz

Blonde_Bint wrote: »

:j:j:j



Our Roman ancestors would be proud of us :j Julius Ceaser would pin medals to us :jand the late but always great Sir Winston Churchill would roar us on to Victory :T:T

Can you believe someone once called me a drama queen:mad: can you :rotfl:

Noooooooooooo :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I like drama queens they make me laff, they behave the way I would love to at times. :rotfl:

bdt1

Many thanks for all of your advice, it's our ds 16th next week, so arranging bbq for friends/family, this is a celebration of his 16 years of life - of which his father and I have always been together. The ex has never won any battle she has taken on with me, except when she hit me in the face once, but in retaliation I did mistakenly step on her foot with my very high stiletto - oops

Assaid, I'm a very strong, even minded, woman who maintains respect and dignity above all else, unlike the PWC, who kicks and screams lounder than our toddler! But as Blonde Bint said, as she is now running out of time with a maximum of 18 months to go - we're expecting 18 months of sheer Hell, as we know panic will be setting in with her - her children will no longer be a free meal ticket to her, she may actually have to go out and financially maintain herself - shame - as rest of us been doing that forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Again thanks and will keep you posted

PlayingHardball

bdt1 - stay strong, I can't say anything different than everyone else but my thoughts are the same and are with you. Think positive - You WILL succeed!

As Kim says, the CSA has thrown their hands up and want Tribunal to put a stop to ex's appeals once and for all...and that is what will happen

Now.....go and give your hubby a hug. I bet he thinks you are an amazing woman, standing by him all these years, putting up with the vicious ex! I know I sometimes wonder how my partner of 8 years has managed to put up with the evil actions from my horrible ex, but I love him more than ever for the fact he has!

Happy days ahead for you! As for the beetch....she'll get what she deserves.

Soubrette

bdt1 wrote: »

Many thanks for all of your advice, it's our ds 16th next week, so arranging bbq for friends/family, this is a celebration of his 16 years of life - of which his father and I have always been together. The ex has never won any battle she has taken on with me, except when she hit me in the face once, but in retaliation I did mistakenly step on her foot with my very high stiletto - oops

Assaid, I'm a very strong, even minded, woman who maintains respect and dignity above all else, unlike the PWC, who kicks and screams lounder than our toddler! But as Blonde Bint said, as she is now running out of time with a maximum of 18 months to go - we're expecting 18 months of sheer Hell, as we know panic will be setting in with her - her children will no longer be a free meal ticket to her, she may actually have to go out and financially maintain herself - shame - as rest of us been doing that forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Again thanks and will keep you posted

That's the spirit

We all know there is going to be ups and downs on the way - but the end is in sight.

From what I remember from my Tribunal - she can only appeal that on a point of law (or a point of procedure not being followed) so hopefully that decision will be final too.

Sou

CSA_Help

bdt1

Good luck with the tribunal

bdt1

Thanx, just got letter this morning fron Tribunal with last of our evidence enclosed.

Also a letter from PWC demanding answers to certain questions (she believes our mortgage is excessively high & could be for more than 1 property). Silly moo, our mortgage is high (£762 per month interest only) as we live in a modest 4 bed detach, but needed a house of a certain size as there are 6 of us in the household. A 2 bbed flat would not have been practical for 3 teenage boys and a 4 yr old daughter!!!

PWC states she is considering applying for excessive housing costs, and of course mentions departure, on grounds my wife can contribute - had to laugh as maybe she doesn't realise she already has a departure in place from 2005 for the very same thing!

Lastly - and of course we are gutted Our lovely PWC regrettably cannot make the Tribunal, but of course demands certain information etc etc. She must be off on holiday somewhere, no other reason, she wouldn't miss this for the world!

She's a joke, but will let you all know next week how we get on