A couple's money issue - help please!

cheepskate_2

gravitytolls wrote: »

See I thought that when you were a couple, finances etc. became 'ours'.

Same her.

When DH moved into my house , all of a month after meeting he gave me his keycard. Been that way ever since , although he has tried on numerous occassions to whip it out of my purse:D in the 23 years we have been together.

slobs

I'm truly astonished by this. They are both wrong. If they were truly a partnership this arguement would never even have occured.

Surely after 5 yrs together the "yours and mine" attitude should be over and all money/assets/decisions should be "ours".

If they are arguing over something as trivial as a car, what on earth sort of life together will they have when/if it goes on to include children, house etc?

Pepzofio

I'd definitely see the £3k as a shared discount rather than her contribution.

If she's insisting that it is *her* car still, after 5 years of splitting maintenance & upkeep costs, then really she should refund him all contributions he has made over the years to the running costs of the car (with the possible exception of fuel). After all, if they had only just got together she would have been paying these all by herself anyway.

I agree that it's probably something they should have sorted out before buying the car, but I don't necessarily think it spells doom for the relationship. They've just got different ways of looking at it, both of which appear to be completely valid arguments depending on your perspective, judging by the responses on this board.

I can see her point of view, even though I disagree with it. Maybe in recognition of the fact that she did have the initial outlay a compromise could be reached? Such as he pays £3k, she pays £2k.

euronorris

Any wrote: »

No, that is true. But she could have gotten her own with 3k discount?

Perhaps. But only if she could afford to buy a new car alone.

And, I'm wondering if the real reason behind this argument is that she doesn't have as much money available to contribute and is too embarrassed to admit it.

peachyprice

euronorris wrote: »

And, I'm wondering if the real reason behind this argument is that she doesn't have as much money available to contribute and is too embarrassed to admit it.

Jeez, if she's too embarrassed to admit that, after being together 5 years, they really are in trouble.

euronorris

peachyprice wrote: »

Jeez, if she's too embarrassed to admit that, after being together 5 years, they really are in trouble.

I know, but to be honest, I think they're in big trouble already.

I mean, they're arguing over the car and money AND they didn't discuss payment of the new car up front (which would've avoided all this arguing now).

It doesn't bode well for the future really.

madget_2

As the car would only have been worth £100 otherwise (and not the £3000 which they were given as scrappage allowance towards the purchase of the new car), I would either go with each of them paying exactly half of the deposit or knocking £100 off her part of the deposit.

As Person_one pointed out, I'd be seriously worried as to what would happen if they bought a house together since they're having such a problem with buying a car. :eek:

belfastgirl23

The cost of the car is a red herring IMHO, the new car is about now and the future so the real question is what can each of them afford? If it would leave one of them in financial difficulty to pay for half then the other should stump up.

One other solution is for them to go halfs on the car but he pays the first year's tax and insurance in recognition of the money she paid initially for the car (this is assuming he split costs as they went along). Perhaps this would change the focus of the argument.

At this stage neither can be exactly 'right' or 'wrong' on the original argument since they have too much invested in it, they need to come up with a creative alternative they can both live with.