Stuck between two options

Oldernotwiser

Sunshine12 wrote: »

Apologies for my hormonal comment. Was meant in a tongue in cheek way as I found your post about wings being clipped a tad OTT but after re-reading it, I agree it didnt come across that way. Again, I apologise.

Apology accepted - it was a bit OTT, the wine talking!

Steel_2

Wow! I've come back and found a lot of lovely comments. I'll try and answer you all.

elsietanner71 - he knows how I feel about job 1. I'm not sure I could take job 2 without feeling a sense of resentment sooner or later. I asked them the question about whether there is actually the work to go full-time in six months and how that could develop and I haven't had a satisfactory answer yet, which disturbs me. I don't want to be pressured into job 2 only to find it crap six months down the line. There's no possibility of us moving to the area of job 1. Perhaps closer down the train line but it really depends on house prices. The last thing we want to do now is take on a bigger mortgage.

Paulf - I've done a 2.5 hr commute (5 hours a day) by public transport before. I did it for a year and didn't find it too hard. I had to be focused on my health and used to take it very easy sleeping or reading, that's why I think I'll be ok if I take care of my health and don't rely on coffee and white carbs for stimulants. There is the flexibility to work from home if needed so I'm sure I can arrange something with them. A combination of maybe two nights at my friend's and maybe one day at home might just work.

teabelly - I've worked from home for the last five years and found myself turning into a housefrau. I'm not happy with this and am looking forward to getting out every day and being with people. I find hubby is much more helpful round the house and with cooking when I am out all day. I could have the equivalent if not more hours of work on at home and he would still expect me to do everything because he perceives if I'm indoors I have the time. That has been a big problem for us in the past.

DCFC79 - I often get up with my hubby sometime between 5am and 6am so early hours are not an issue, and we tend to go to bed early. I'd be offering my friend some money for bills so I wouldn't be taking advantage and she'd probably appreciate the extra money.

Oldernotwiser - you've actually hit the nail on the head. I feel like I've done my time indoors and need to get out. My hubby's mother wanted to how I'm going to cope with all the housework and the garden when I'm working and I pointed out her son was single for many years before he met me as he is capable of doing some himself. I am capable of much more and think I will outgrow job 2 quite quickly.

Annisele - hubby is 12 years older than me and our plan is for me to find a good job for the next few years to start chunking down some serious money. His job isn't massively stable and it is a manual job. As he ages it hurts him. He wants to be able to take vluntary redundancy if it comes up.

Viktory - I feel that way. I know once I start it I will give it my all and if it doesn't work out, I have that company on my CV. It could be a stepping stone to other things. I can't see job 2 steping anywhere regardless of how convenient it is...

Jimbs - right now I feel my health is suffering somewhat because of boredom. I'm not a natural hausefrau and I find myself getting incredibly stressed and angry. I'm drifting and need focus. I need challenge and being at home just isn't cutting it any more. I went freelance for a change of scene and to slow down. I've slowed down so much I've stagnated and am bored.

***

Everyone, we stayed up last night watching the election results come in and we had time to talk and I had time to think over all of your wonderful answers, for which I am very grateful for you all coming on here and taking the time to give them.

If hubby wants to retire early and at the same time I want to explore and achieve everything I'm capable of, I cannot reasonably take job 2. Being a new position it is just not stable enough for a start and I cannot see a logical progression through the company.

I am young enough to be able to do the commute and being freelance have learnt a lot about pacing myself and taking care of my health. I have spent 5 years operating on the basis of "work to live" rather than "live to work" and it is now not enough for me spiritually or for the things my husband wants to do in the future. He has dreams which require him to scale back his work to achieve. As he has helped me a lot over the last 5 years trying out my dream, I'm happy to help him with his.

We've agreed to re-evaluate our life every six months to ensure we are on the right track. If I don't do this, I will always wonder what could have been.

elsietanner71

All the best for the future Steel. The future sounds quite exciting for you. Let us know how it goes.

Els x

mortgageslayer

Try commuting by coach. Its cheaper usually, and more than likely easier...

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Job 1. By miles. Go for it - it offers more security, no friendship to taint, time to yourself on the train/staying away some nights, the chance to share your knowledge with others. And you may be more appreciated, the less you are there and the less you are stuck sitting at home wishing you had take your dream job rather than the one which keeps you as the little wife doing pin money!