Stuck between two options

Steel_2

I have a dilemma involving two jobs. At the moment I'm self-employed and a bit bored. I'm unable to get the complexity of freelance projects I was hoping to achieve and recently one of my clients admitted that was because anything companies in my sector outsource is simple stuff. All the complex interesting stuff is kept in-house.

Job 1 - Senior position in London, full-time, pay £37k-£47k + benefits, 1.5 - 2 hour commute each way costing around 5k a year or there is the option of me staying away from home in a friend's flat (a 10 minute walk from the office) for some of the week. Fantastic company, light years ahead of the competition, would challenge me massively as I would be taking a sideways step from a scientific discipline to a medical/pharmaceutical discipline. Looking after huge blue chip companies and mentoring juniors which I've never done before. The first interview was 2.5hours with department head and then the lady who I will be replacing. After I met all the staff in the department. I was told by the recruitment agency I'm the strongest candidate and I'm due to go back next week to meet the MD.

I'm a pretty strong person and don't mind commuting that much - it helps my knitting and crochet skills along enormously - but I'm concerned about the impact it could have on my marriage and my health. I have to say the challenge of this job excites me and also scares me - there's a long way to fall if I get it wrong. I also have to consider hubby - although we need to bring in as much money as we can over the next few years to prepare for his retirement, I don't want to do that at the expense of our relationship.

Job 2 - local job, pay £27k pro-rata, six month contract with possibility of full-time after (it's a new position so I have the capacity to really put my mark on it). Utterly different industry (in fact it could be considered a male domianted industry) doing much of the same work as I'm doing now. Working for a friend who has already told me she knows I can do the job already and would be brilliant at it.

Hubby is pushing me to try the local job, as it would be working for a friend for either 4 hours a day (and he could pick me up as he works close by) or 3 days a week leaving me 4 days off. In reality I would have to work freelance two days to make the income up until it went full time at the end of the contract. I wouldn't be paying a great deal in travel expenses and commuting time would be far less than the other job. However, I'm concerned I would be bored after a few months plus what would happen if my wonderful friend turned into a boss from hell?

Would you take the local job and the less stressful option and hope for a full-time position in six months? Or take the higher paid, more stressful option and risk the commute being so onerous that in six months time you can't hack it any more?

Sunshine12

I would take the local one as Ive done a commute of a similar length before (and was fully recompensed for any costs) and it was an absolute nightmare. I would never ever do it again or recommend it.

Steel_2

jdturk wrote: »

just from quickly reading through it I think it is clear you want the first option.

Even as I typed that post I knew I wanted the first job.

The challenge will be massive and I love challenges. I'm not the sort of person who can be unchallenged on a continual basis.

But there's part of me that thinks this desire for challenge will one day be my undoing. I've had friends and family ask me outright when will I settle down into a normal life and I guess job number 2 would be doing that. It would be the sensible option. Perhaps I could create my own challenges in the position?

Sunshine12 wrote:

I would take the local one as Ive done a commute of a similar length before (and was fully recompensed for any costs) and it was an absolute nightmare. I would never ever do it again or recommend it.

Did you commute by public transport or car? I could never do car, but this would be a train journey where I could sit with my headphones on or crochet or read a book.

Sunshine12

Steel wrote: »

Did you commute by public transport or car? I could never do car, but this would be a train journey where I could sit with my headphones on or crochet or read a book.

Hi. Yes, car although for me it was the fact that when you finish work for the day you are not really finished as you still have a few hours before you actually get home. If your gut instinct is to go with the first job I think you should. Instincts are generally right. Good luck with it whatever you decide to do - wish you all the best. :T

elsietanner71

Hey Steel, if you don't want the first job, can I have it please?

If the option of job 1 was taken away, how would you feel?

Can I ask what your family mean by you 'settling into a normal life' ? What do you think about that?

Try and read your posts as if they were written by someone else. What would you advise the writer to do?

Steel_2

elsietanner71 wrote: »

If the option of job 1 was taken away, how would you feel?

Can I ask what your family mean by you 'settling into a normal life' ? What do you think about that?

Try and read your posts as if they were written by someone else. What would you advise the writer to do?

I'd be pretty gutted to be honest. Everything is stacking up behind that one at the moment. The challenge during the day. The ability for advancement. Mentoring others. A relatively new area in the field that not many others have cottoned on to so the company is ahead of the game. The friend's flat close by if I need to stay over. The time during the commute in the morning to read, listen to music and do some crafts. The possibility of taking the odd half day and wandering up town to an exhibition or show.

My family think I'm nuts. I've always been different, a bit of a dreamer. That I want too much too soon. They want me to get a local job so we have the time to finish renovating the house and have kids. You know, solid dependable stuff. I want to go and explore as many options for life as possible. Hubby is in the middle of these two extremes. Neither of us want kids and we both love exciting challenges. Hubby however is also very traditional and likes to play it safe, which I have a problem getting my head round. I could follow a challenge to the end of the earth if it helps me grow and makes me a better person.

If I had to advise someone, I would say take job 1 and sod the consequences. A ship in port is very safe but it's not what ships are built for. But I know I have a touch of selfishness and that this is a decision that will affect me and hubby. I can't go hell for leather woop woop and not look back. If I was single I would do it without hesitation.

elsietanner71

Obvious, I know but have you explained how you feel to your husband? And if so, does he still want you to go for job 2?

In the long term, could you put aside any resentment if you took job 2?

paulwf

A 2 hour commute each way is too long IMHO, 1 1/2 hours is what I found to be the upper limit even by train. I remember times when the weather was bad or engineering works overrun and it would add up to an hour each way. That could potentially turn it into a 6 hour commute, not fun as the job description looks like it might require lots of overtime.

Most commuter rail services into London are packed so aren't much fun. If you get a gloomy winter with rail delays and overtime you'll never see any sunlight. I'd only do it for 4 days a week maximum, otherwise long term it'll kill you

teabelly

Funny thing is people always underestimate how much a long commute impacts the quality of their life. Many move out into the sticks thinking that the big house is worth the hassle then find out that actually it isn't... After 6 months to a year the challenge and novelty may have worn off and it will be just a job with a long commute.

Is there any way you could do the first job but working from home for most of the week and only commuting one day a week for example?

I'd take the local job as family life is more important than work. Always. Unless your family life is so horrid you want to be away from it!

elsietanner71

Perhaps moving could be an option if the job works out?

DCFC79

What time would you be starting ? 8 or 9, lets say 9 ok so its a 2 hour commute which puts it back to 7 plus 15 minutes to get from the station to work plus say 20 minutes to get yourself ready so you would have to get up at about 6 25, could you seriously get up at 6 25 for 5 days a week to get to work. You do have the option of a friends flat you coud stay at but id find out how many days a week they would let you stay for as you could stay there for 2 or 3 days but is that not more hassle with lugging a bag of clothes etc