DFW May Bank Holiday Weekend 1/2/3 May Chat

katsu

elfen wrote: »

Got my haircut....was going to shop but took the money out and put it back and transferred it back to savings....Sad really.

Nearly walked out on Pint this morning, he's finally admiteed he has an alcohol problem (or the beginning of one) and we're going to talk about it later....he will get better, like everything it takes time.

Even though it feels like its my fault

Not shopping for "stuff" sounds very sensible of you.

As for Pint's potential alcohol problem, unless you buy it and make him drink it, I don't think it can be your fault.

clairewop

katsu wrote: »

claire, MY DH says hot squash but not as sweet is a fair description. I could post you a couple of teabags to try if you want to PM me your addy.

lol I wasn't hinting to get some, was just asking cause i'm nosey lol

Elfen, theres plenty of help out there for alcoholism (sp?) will that mean your house will need to be booze free? Hugs hun, hope you can talk it through and help each other

katsu

's OK Claire, I know that. I just thought I would offer as I know I'm sometimes hesitant to buy stuff to try as I don't want to waste money on something I end up not liking.

clairewop

i wouldn't mind trying a few Katsu, will pm my addy

elfen

claire, I know we're going to talk about it later...I don't know what's going to be said, but I know it's cos of me...I've brought all the stress into this....its my fault.

scaredy_cat

elfen, did you actually pour the drink down Pint's throat? Did you frogmarch him to the pub every night and buy each drink?

i hardly think so, so it is not all your fault.

He could have stayed in, he could have only had 1 or 2 drinks. He makes his choices, not you.

elfen

No. But it feels like its cos of me. I know it is his fault too - he admitted it this morning and agreed to talk about it....so I'm going to see if he can survive only drinking a few days a week, he should lose weight too

clairewop

ELFEN!!! YES I'M SHOUTING !!!! ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!!

He put the glass to his mouth and drank it, yes there might be a bit of stress in the house because of your illness, but you never made him put the alcohol into his body, he did that all on his own.

clairewop

elfen wrote: »

No. But it feels like its cos of me. I know it is his fault too - he admitted it this morning and agreed to talk about it....so I'm going to see if he can survive only drinking a few days a week, he should lose weight too

If he feels he needs to drink every night, why doesn't he see if he can limit it to one drink? I've no idea what alcolism contains because fortunatly i've not come accross it, and maybe in a few weeks maybe cut a night out and see how he goes on from there?

Ames

elfen, as you know my mum's an alcoholic. they all blame everyone else, it sounds like Pint's ready to move on and admit it's his fault which is a MASSIVE step forward. It's not your fault, if you weren't around he'd still have a drink problem, he'd just blame something else.

I'd also say that cutting down to a couple of times a week won't work, I went through that with ex and his gambling, if something's a problem it needs to be cut completely, otherwise it's 'oh I'll just have one more' or 'I have to cram them all in today cos I can't have any tomorrow' or 'well I'm doing fine on those days, I can just add in another day'.

Remember you have to put you first, and sadly people with these problems tend to drag people down with them, so make sure you take care of yourself before you take care of him.