Its all gone wrong

QueenB.

Well i am back here after what seems like an age away. The last month or so has been a bit of a rollercoaster and it only seems to be getting worse. Plus what with the summer hols i have had barely a minute to myself.

Well we had been doing so well getting our money problems sorted out. Had reduced all we could, started it really live as MSE/DFW as possible, uped payments to CC and saved all the pennies and 2 pounds we found. Tough as it was we had started to see positive results and we finally felt a little in control. We even had a time and goal to work towards.

BUT...........over the last month and a half it has all gone a bit wrong and now i feel as if we are back where we started, with less possibilities and even more stress as since our light bulb moment the idea of going backwards is more emotionally stressful than our debt pre LB if that makes sense.

I am feeling really down at the moment and finding it difficult to sleep again.

What had happened is that OH is changing his job at the moment, he is training for a new position, which, if he suceeds will mean more money and benefits in the future, but when in the future is up in the air, it could be by mid next year, it may not be for another year or more. It is not so much that his wage has gone down but more that his last job was more flexible so he could make more if we really needed it, plus he made tips so we always had some cash in the house and to be honest since the start of the year we had tried to live of them as much as possible. That had meant we had not used our switch cards let alone our CC so we had more money to make on payments. These cash tips have now gone and even though, in theory, we don't have less money, it feels like it. We are over drawn again and that is starting to really bother me as it is just going up each month rather than down. We have also had to reduce all our payments to CC so that once again we are back to paying just above the min which had thrown everything into chaos, our time line is completely out the window if we can't make the payments we had been.

Plus we have once again used the dreaded CC, only twice but as we all know it is a slippery slope.

On top of all this, all the bills have arrived, our freezer has broken, the car needs some work, the kids need new school uniform, and my daughter has to buy all hers from one particular place as it is regulation uniform and they have just changed the uniform so it means all new rather than being able to make do, plus i have 6 birthdays between now and the end of september, plus we need carpets and i have no way of paying for ANY of this:o

I feel completely lost at the moment and i can't even budget as everything is uncertain due to his shifting work patterns at the moment.

I really don't want the debt to mount back up when we have been doing so well, and i especially don't want it going back up so close to christmas. The whole situation is making me feel really sick again.

This place is the only place i can let of a little steam, so thanks to DFW for giving me a place to rant.

In_Search_Of_Me

Just wanted to send a big hug. It does seem with DFW that you get stuff all sorted & then it goes pear shaped (ie I was just getting sorted & then had a car accident which has cost a bomb...) but we're all here to support each other with the ups & downs. Is there any way OH could get a more predicable/regularly paid job? Can you do any work from home etc that may bring more cash in? looking at TV asda has some ridiculously cheap school clothes if thats any help (95p for tshirt!)...Can you do car boot/amazon/ebay etec to get more cash? Try & focus on the fact that it will take time. Also important to be honest with yourself about slippage...I know i have slipped recently as got complacent/bored/unmotivated & trying to get some of the enthusiasm that I had at the start!! Alot of people feel the same at the mo so dont worry you are definately NOT alone! Big hugs & just keep on plugging away at it...

Prudent

You have no choice but to firefight just now. You have to buy uniform, you probably have to replace the freezer. For an interim, could you try and get one from freecycle or the small ads in the local paper?

Can the bills be put on direct debit in future?

southernscouser

OK, this is how we are gonna sort this out!

Spending diary. Are you keeping one? If not why not? If so have a look over it and work out what you have overspent on!

You say OH's pay is pretty much the same! How much difference is it? £25 a week for example doesn't sound alot but thats over £100 a month!

You need to get the exact figures together so you know exactly where you stand.

Have you tried freecycle for a new freezer?

Have you got anything you can ebay to generate some extra funds?

Is there anymore manoveure (sp) in your budget? Anyway you can lower your grocery bill for example?

Are you entitled to any scholl uniform benefit thingy? I'm sure we got it when I was at school! :think:

QueenB.

fishface-69 wrote:

Just wanted to send a big hug. It does seem with DFW that you get stuff all sorted & then it goes pear shaped (ie I was just getting sorted & then had a car accident which has cost a bomb...) but we're all here to support each other with the ups & downs. Is there any way OH could get a more predicable/regularly paid job? Can you do any work from home etc that may bring more cash in? looking at TV asda has some ridiculously cheap school clothes if thats any help (95p for tshirt!)...Can you do car boot/amazon/ebay etec to get more cash? Try & focus on the fact that it will take time. Also important to be honest with yourself about slippage...I know i have slipped recently as got complacent/bored/unmotivated & trying to get some of the enthusiasm that I had at the start!! Alot of people feel the same at the mo so dont worry you are definately NOT alone! Big hugs & just keep on plugging away at it...

Thanks, yes it does always seem to be the way, i suppose it just feels worse because when you first start out on here you reduce all your outgoings and when you get hit hard again, you realise that this time around there are less options as you have already tried/put them in place.

At the moment there is no way OH could get a different job, this is something he has wanted to do for so long but has always put it off and basically its a now or never thing, plus hopefully, when it settles we will be better of in many ways, its just the uncertainity of when it will all settle. We have tried the car boots etc but they didn't go well but we are talking about trying Ebay, though to be honest we don't really have much to sell.The boys school uniform can be got cheap but as i said my daughters, aside from shirts and trousers, can't and there is a large list of her requirements:rolleyes:

I am hoping i will be able to get some more routine into our finanaces once they all start back at school but trying to stay positive until then is the hard part and the idea i will have to put a few bits, like the carpets, on our CC is sticking in my throat, but there is just no other way.

QueenB.

Prudent wrote:

You have no choice but to firefight just now. You have to buy uniform, you probably have to replace the freezer. For an interim, could you try and get one from freecycle or the small ads in the local paper?

Can the bills be put on direct debit in future?

For some reason i am having trouble getting accepted to freecycle but i am still trying and i am keeping a close eye on all the small ads but nothing yet but i am keeping my fingers crossed.

Most bills are on DD but these are the CC, phone and electric which i prefer not to have on DD.

mountainofdebt

have a great big hug from me, I know exactly where you are coming from.

Hubby wasn't abel to take a salary for the last couple of months and so we've been living off my wages.

Although I've moved to a better paid job, the job I left was paid weekly and so we at least had some money coming in on a weekly basis added to which I took a week off in between jobs - which looking back on it was highly extravagent but I needed to, if only for my sanity.

I too was down last week as it seems (as trivial as it might sound) that a)I won't clear the credit card in my signature - not our only debt but the one that at this point I'm willing to admit to! - and b) had to spend on the credit cards as well.

I know some might not agree with this but if you are finding yourself short of money then personally I don't think that it is beneficial to try and pay more than the minimum on your ccs. You can always make up the shortfall when the cash starts flowing again - as I intend to do.

Are you getting all the benefits you are entitled to now that your household income has reduced? Make be worth checking.

keep smiling - the both of us will get through this sticky patch - the thing to remember is that we have had our lightbulb moment and as long as we keep applying our DFW principles we'll be ok.

QueenB.

southernscouser wrote:

OK, this is how we are gonna sort this out!

Spending diary. Are you keeping one? If not why not? If so have a look over it and work out what you have overspent on!

You say OH's pay is pretty much the same! How much difference is it? £25 a week for example doesn't sound alot but thats over £100 a month!

You need to get the exact figures together so you know exactly where you stand.

Have you tried freecycle for a new freezer?

Have you got anything you can ebay to generate some extra funds?

Is there anymore manoveure (sp) in your budget? Anyway you can lower your grocery bill for example?

Are you entitled to any scholl uniform benefit thingy? I'm sure we got it when I was at school! :think:

Yep started a spending diary when i first joined here and to be honest most of teh over spend has been summer hol related though even that has been barely anything, it is just mainly the wage situation and bills/home needs all at once.

The problem with getting an exact figure is that at the moment we can't, i know its all a bit complicated which is what is stressing me out as we had a budget before but right now i just can't get one together plus soon he is going to be going from getting paid weekly to getting paid monthly, which in the long run will be better budget wise but right now it will mean alot of rearranging and a shortfall.

I guess the real problem is that we have no way of freeing up any cash/money yet we have a mountain of bills/needs, i see only one way out for now and it is not a financially positive one:rolleyes:

However thanks everyone for the advice and support it helps to direct my focus and yes it also helps motivate me out of the stress.:)

QueenB.

mountainofdebt wrote:

have a great big hug from me, I know exactly where you are coming from.

Hubby wasn't abel to take a salary for the last couple of months and so we've been living off my wages.

Although I've moved to a better paid job, the job I left was paid weekly and so we at least had some money coming in on a weekly basis added to which I took a week off in between jobs - which looking back on it was highly extravagent but I needed to, if only for my sanity.

I too was down last week as it seems (as trivial as it might sound) that a)I won't clear the credit card in my signature - not our only debt but the one that at this point I'm willing to admit to! - and b) had to spend on the credit cards as well.

I know some might not agree with this but if you are finding yourself short of money then personally I don't think that it is beneficial to try and pay more than the minimum on your ccs. You can always make up the shortfall when the cash starts flowing again - as I intend to do.

Are you getting all the benefits you are entitled to now that your household income has reduced? Make be worth checking.

keep smiling - the both of us will get through this sticky patch - the thing to remember is that we have had our lightbulb moment and as long as we keep applying our DFW principles we'll be ok.

Sending you a hug right back, you are right as long as we keep to our DFW principles then we should be ok.

Though that is part of the problem in a strange way LOL:D as behaviour i would have done pre LB is really something i now find difficult to accept, like the O/D and using the CC. Even though i know it is necessary right at the moment it is still hurting :rolleyes:

mrs_mug_2

My only advice to you is to face the worst case - add up exactly what the school uniform will cost, what a fridge freezer will cost and any other essentials that you have to pay for (big stuff I mean). Get an exact figure. Facing it usually takes some of the worry away for me. And then start working out how you are going to pay for it. See it as a lump sum and then you won't feel as out of control.

This is a short term set back, it is disheartening but it isn't all over yet.

Big hug for you.

Toomuchdebt

no advice here as I have just started on my debt reducing journey but have some !!!!!!!!{hugs}}}}}