First time SOA - Please be gentle. Am so worried.

Little_Miss_Uni-Debt

Hi!

I think you'll tackle this superbly and start making great progress really soon! It sounds like you really want to work hard at it . Plus what's even better is when you've got rid of your debts you'll have some excellent budgeting, cooking, shopping skills to help you move forward in life!!! Plus sticking to a budget makes you eat healthier which makes you feel great!

Don't forget, in a few hundred pounds time your debt will go from being 5figures to 4figures! So don't get disheartened every step is an important one! Imagine you'd come down from £20,000 debt or £50k or £60k or £100k - how great would you feel to be at this point?!!!

Also every £100 you save on groceries or even finding other income is 1% knocked off your total!!

I think my best tip is to tackle small things before they become big things. Keep up with the filing of paperwork and checking bills as you have done to do your SOA etc. Then you can stay on top of it all

Best of luck for your journey!

pixiechick_2

Just want to say well done for tackling your problems. :T

Sorry I can't really offer much in the way of advice as I'm only just getting my head out of the sand but if you need support your in good hands on here.

Just a thought - would a DRO be possible? (I'm not sure if they include student loan debts.)

SimIsOnTheUp

Thanks Little Miss Uni - Debt - I could do with some of your positivity!

Cheers for Good Luck.

Pixiechick - Thank You. It does feel good, for taking the bull by the horns

Apparently, (according to DebtDoctor on these boards, who works for the CAB), I would be OK with a DRO, as they would deduct the Student Loans, leaving my total debts less than the £15,000 limit.

Cheers,

Sim x

SimIsOnTheUp

Thanks for your support on here guys.

I really want to be able to repay my ex - Girlfriend all of the money she's lent me - £1,458.00

I've set up a Standing Order, for £5.00 per week, starting next week.

Just wish I could repay her, all of it, today :-/

She's really helped me out. Wish I could make it up to her straight away, but it's going to take me a while to get straightened out :-(

KosmicPink225

Hiya

Just wanted to pop in with some love and support for you. I have been where you are and managed to pull myself up by my bootstraps when I finally saw the light. I was drinking heavily, had money worries and lost everything except a loving husband without whom I would not be here now, so I know how important a caring thought can be for someone in your position.

Don't despair! If I can get there anyone can. I got sober - faced facts and got myself back into employment. Following advice gleaned from lurking on sites like this (though I have only recently got up the courage to start posting) I got straight financially and now am content.

Although the drink demons never go away completely, they fade into the background and for me it has now been 7 years clean. Concentrate on something good in every day, even if its only a smile or a kind word from a friend and things seem brighter. I am sure that you will get there.

There is loads of good financial advice on here just wanted to let you know that there is moral support as well.

SimIsOnTheUp

KosmicPink225 -

Hi there,

Your words have just brought a tear to my eye, and in a good way!

Good on ya, for getting sober, amongst everything else.

Hope you don't mind me asking, but what do you think to AA?

I'm more focused, and determined than ever, to stay sober.

However, I've always been in two minds about AA :-/

Thank You for your kindness and support,

Hope you and your husband, enjoy a relaxing weekend,

Sim x

Lexxi

Could you check out the local library or your local council website for courses they run on cooking? Where I used to live they did an intro to food, a beginners class and a class aimed specifically at men who hadn't really cooked before. The cost of the course is usually covered as you're on benefits. It'll help you with getting the cost of the shopping down and give you skills that you can keep with you and build on?
All the best with your journey

petebates26

Alright Sim,

Sounds like you've made a few good decisions lately and you're on the road to sorting yourself out!

I'm no expert on alcoholism, but I've battled a couple of addictions myself and I know how much of a relief it is when that switch finally clicks in your brain - there's a point when it becomes so clear and it becomes a decision - you're not going to do that to yourself any more! It's an inspiring feeling!

You aked about AA - it just reminded me of a conversation I had with a mate who used them - it was about calling yourself a alcoholic, no matter what stage of recovery you're at - to be honest, I didn't agree with that stance. I understand the importance of keeping alcohol in the forefront of your mind - recognising the poison that made your life so difficult and never going back there.

Everyone's different - but I argued that while it was all well and good identifying the problem and keeping sight of it, I could never define myself by the poisons that controlled me - that just gives them power.

So, you're an alcoholic. You're beating it and you can't afford to lose sight of it. But I'm not going to identify you by that. Strip back the booze and you're a complex and amazing person behind it all.

You've had a past, you've got a future. You're on the right road and I can't tell you how much i admire you for taking that bull by the horns - you have my utmost respect.

Keep on keeping on matey - sorry if I sound patronising - I'm just well impressed!

KosmicPink225

Hi SimIsOnTheUp,

For me the determination and motivation is key - AA a a really great organisation for support in times of need. They understand and have the experience and access to other types of help you may need. Nothing shocks them. If you feel out on a limb they are there.The trick is to use any support that you personally feel you need from them particularly at the early stage but not to come to rely too heavily on it. You can do it! You have already taken the first step! Major, major move!

Baby steps only at first - hour by hour if needs be - then suddenly half a day is gone and you feel better - next get through the night, get up the next morning have something- anything- to focus on to avoid that need for an 'eye opener' and off you go again. Set yourself a do-able target (something simple like a tv programme or a visit with a friend), say to yourself you will not fall by the wayside at least until then, when that is acheived (and you will be feeling good about yourself by then) set another small target.

Time is nothing that anyone can do anything about, so make it work for you - not against you. Break it up into chunks. that you know you can get through. I got into this way of thinking and still do it to a certain extent out of force of habit.

I wish you every bit of luck that I would wish for myself, and I will be thinking of you . You are not alone. I will follow this thread and if I can help, I will.

KosmicPink225

Just re-read my last post - hope I did not sound too much like a school-mistress! (I am not) Just passionate about this sort of thing and know what worked for me. xxxx