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Unsupportive OH?

I've just had a barney with H. He found £26 in 2 accounts that he hasn't used for years. Gleefully I said 'great, can I have it for my challenge money then?' (the £1k challenge) and he got all uppity and sparked on about it beign the last of his inheritance.

Fair enough but the debt we have is HALF HIS. He has already spent that £26 on something and it isn't necessarily my fault that he doesn't know what on (he got this money before we were together).

The money will go off our credit card. Infact, the credit card is in his name only but there are things on there that were bought for the children so it is our debt really.

He finished his strop by claiming 'its only £26 for godsake'. Well exactly. But he doesn't seem to realise that we've found over £100 in 1 week by adding up little bits, with a further £300 waiting to be paid to us. None of the transactions were over £30 so another £26 will come in very handy.

What can I do about this? He's usually so level headed and usually keen to save money. I just dont' understand why he doesn't want to pull out all the stops to get out of debt.

Makes me so mad. I've half a mind to take my name off the joint account and let him deal with everything.
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Comments

  • wigginsmum
    wigginsmum Posts: 4,150 Forumite
    Sounds like he's scared by all the big changes. You're obviously a go-getter who's caught the vision and he's more laidback by the sounds of it. He's probably wondering how far all the enthusiastic moneysaving is going to go!

    Take a deep breath, do nothing for a couple of days, and then have a calm discussion about it.
    The ability of skinny old ladies to carry huge loads is phenomenal. An ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.
  • Personally i think its more than the money, if its his inheritance he may see it being the last reminder of the person that he inherited it from. I'm with your OH on this one

    Will
    SShhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
  • mrs_mug wrote:
    Makes me so mad. I've half a mind to take my name off the joint account and let him deal with everything.


    Also i didn't think u cud do this without both parties consenting

    Will
    SShhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
  • mrs_mug_2
    mrs_mug_2 Posts: 172 Forumite
    Cheers Wigginsmum, sound advice.

    Willf - I would be with you on it if he hadn't a)completely forgotten that he'd got it
    b) we hadn't got a loan for £7k, credit card for £7.5k (run up in 12 months), secured loan, car loan and overdrafts.
    c) just £40 for the rest of the month to pay for petrol (he commutes 230 miles a week)
    d) had wanted to put it towards something as a keepsake

    but he wants to leave it in an account that has earnt just £1 interest on it since 2000.
  • mrs_mug_2
    mrs_mug_2 Posts: 172 Forumite
    Also i didn't think u cud do this without both parties consenting

    Will


    Yes i can take my name off the account. I can't take my name off any loans etc. But I deal with all of the money so if I 'resigned' from that job he'd see exactly how much I've done in the last few weeks to get us straight again.
  • just because he forgot doesn't mean it didn't bring back the memories, as he said its only £26 and as u said before he normally does what he can to get out of debt then i really think u should leave this one well alone

    Will
    SShhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
  • mrs_mug_2
    mrs_mug_2 Posts: 172 Forumite
    fair enough Will. I can see why he is attached to it - it was actually money from a grandad that he never knew, given to his mother and it is because his mother gave him a lump sum that he is attached to it (she is still alive btw).

    I suppose I'm more narked because I run around after 2 babies all day and night, keep the house as pristine as I can and I'm now looking for a part time job that will keep me out of the house 3 nights and all weekend. I feel like I'm giving more than him. Perhaps I want it more than him and that is the issue. I think we'll do some talking when things have calmed down.
  • Turtle
    Turtle Posts: 999 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts
    mrs mug - i have toagree with you I'm afraid, the £26 is a small amount, but you've got to chip the debt down somehow, no matter how small the contribution.

    By the way, have you checked with your bank about removing name from joint account. Its unusual to be able to do this, and nigh on impossible if the a/c is in debit as you're jointly responsible for it. Usually, husband would have to agree to take debt on and even then not all banks will remove a name. Or did you say this in heat of moment anyway?!
  • twink
    twink Posts: 3,827 Forumite
    it would have been nice if you could have shared the money, say a nice evening at the cinema and fish and chips after, so you could both have relaxed and had fun
  • rkh001
    rkh001 Posts: 324 Forumite
    mrs mug - we have separate accounts and credit cards. My OH doesn't want to do anything about his debt. He is "able to pay the minimum every month. Besides my good credit record means the world to me". So what do you do? I let him be.

    Perhaps you could look into setting up a new account of your own and getting paid into that. Don't contribut any more to the joint account. Just a thought... it's a tough one and I struggle with it day and night, knowing that I can do nothing about it.

    Good luck.
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