Divorce Settlement - still waiting

AnnaLicious_2

My ex-husband still owes me my divorce settlement. When we split, he got the house, furniture, and almost everything I owned. I had gone into debt to keep the house from being repossessed as he wasn't working.
When I worked out the settlement, I know I could have asked for around £20 - £30k - house equity, bills I had been paying in their entirity, wedding presents and so on. However, being the fool I was I asked for £5k as he wasn't working and in great debt. He paid me half when the divorce went through. On the divorce papers it does state he agreed to pay the full sum.
He goes in 3 month cycles - some friendly emails, then a slew of nasty hatred, silence, then a friendly email. I stopped replying to the nasty ones years ago. Hey, divorced, not my job to be his emotional punching bag any more! Also stopped replying to anything quite some time ago, as it was only a mix of relieving my guilt and hoping for the money he owed me. Significantly, he gets nasty and mentions the divorce settlement as it's the only thing he has on me. He used to look for loads of ways to hurt me when I first left - tried to take my car (my name, my money bought it), and oh - nevermind, lots of hurtful things I'll leave unsaid.
It's now been 3 years. I've moved on - I'm engaged to be married and have a beautiful baby. I would like to finally draw a line under the entire mess.
Should I:
1. Accept it's never coming.
2. Final threat - send a Notice of Intent Letter, file a claim online for the money.
My worry about option 2 is well - he'll be horrible. I'll get an inbox full of his vile, vile, vile hatred. He knows where I live also, and I have this tiny baby that I would do anything in the world to protect.
First time posting a thread here, sorry so personal. But any advice on how to proceed. All my friends that know him say accept it's not coming. On the chase the money front - it's my money, and would clear my leftover debt.

daska

It sounds to me as if never hearing from him again would be another £2,500 well spent. If you can afford it then walk away and list his e-mail address as spam.

mackemdave

If the divorce settlement was stamped by the courts them you need to go back to the court for breach of order....Did you have a solicitor representing you?

If it was just an agreement between you and your ex then you need to tell him you are willing to go to the courts in an attempt to get a better settlemt

floss2

Is it worth £2.5k to have a lovely happy, quiet & peaceful life with your new partner & child? Can you afford to manage without it?

AnnaLicious_2

I can afford to live without it. I'd like it to pay off the last of what I think of as my 'marriage debt', but I can go on without it.
I didn't have a solicitor, I just made sure it was noted in the initial application which he signed and agreed to. I just think about it sometimes, and how miserable I was, and it's like the one last thing he got away with.

floss2

AnnaLicious wrote: »

I can afford to live without it. I'd like it to pay off the last of what I think of as my 'marriage debt', but I can go on without it.
I didn't have a solicitor, I just made sure it was noted in the initial application which he signed and agreed to. I just think about it sometimes, and how miserable I was, and it's like the one last thing he got away with.

Sometimes we have to bite the bullet & accept that we won't get what is due, and move on. This may well be one of those times. I would love to give my fiance my deceased father's silver cufflinks on our wedding day, just as my mother gave them to my father, but I can't as my ex-husband still has them since our divorce in 2001. :grouphug: