please help with ideas/costs

mummyofboys

Hi everyone

Just abit of advice really. My and my boyfriend both 23, have been engaged for 2 years and together for nearly 5. We have wantedd to get married for ages, but just cannot afford the big lavish do and keep putting it off, every time we start to plan we realize the cost and just stop! I dont want the big do, I would love to go away just me and our sons but my boyfriend wants his mum,dad and grandparents ( they could not afford to come away with us) And if we have the wedding in the uk I couldnt not invite my parents ect.

After having my second son 5 weeks ago I am now fed up with waiting to marry my lovely boyfriend and being the only one without the family surname! So please help advice! we do not have any savings , Do not want to get into anymore debt, so would just kind of pay for it as we go along ect.

In the uk there would need to be 21 people attending ( 3 of these are children) as this is our immediate family.

suggestions

1) I went to york for the first time yesterday and fell in love with the area. Get married in york, all family come with us ( 1.5 hour drive away from manchester where we all live) get married in registery office, all go for a meal afterwards and nice drinks in a pub all stay over in b & b ect. me and my boys stay on for couple of days honeymoon/ holiday.

2) Get married in Manchester registery office ( looks and feels abit cold though?) go for a meal in manchester afterwards with all family.

3) do one of those options plus have a "reception style" evening with more guests. If get married in york maybe a few weeks afterwards? If get married in manchester go for a meal, then go to reception at around 7?

How much could i do these things for? if i did a reception I would have to have a buffet ect?

If anyone has any other ideas feel free! thanks so much in advance!

ps) just found my dream dress http://www.monsoon.co.uk/Bridal-Dresses/Paula-Rose-Tunic/invt/65211741

Cat72

Hi
Its such a shame that costs get in the way of people in love getting married ! There are some fantastic moneysaving tips on here and Im sure loads of people will give you some suggestions.

All of your options are feasable at a low cost. I suppose one of the thinks you have to do is figure out when you want to get married and how much you can save- and if anyone can contribute anything eg cake, flowers, invites, maybe Dj, photos etc which all really helps.

I have saved money by doing my own invites,making cake , not having cars or transport , buying fake flowers and Im not having buffet reception. Instead its a drink and dance reception with a dj that cost me very little. If you go for the pub option they might throw in some enertainment/function room for the fact they are getting people buying drinks.

Firstly figure out your main expenses -the cost of the register, venue/meal cost and take it from there.Do any of your family have a nice garden /house you could use ? My friend had a lovely intimate wedding in her garden and just served a buffet -which everyone brought something. It was very nice and you dont have to restrict the numbers too much.
Good luck x

Emu53

I like option 1, I get the feeling that this may be your favorite too? could you ask parents etc to pay for there own meal and to pay for there B&B? then it would only cost you for reg office, your outfits, rings, and your own meal and stay,
if you decide to have a 'reception style' evening later on, you could always see if any local pubs have a free function room, I dont think that you would need much food just a few 'nibbly' bits? or ask friends to bring some food with them as a gift to you?

mummyofboys

Thanks for your replys!

I know it really is annoying people put of getting married for the costs, but i just feel bad looking cheap ect. I would have to pay for everyones meal otherwise would look really bad?

I would love to do it in my dads house, but unfortunately my dad and mum are divorced and noway would they be amicable sp? they really hate eacthother( and thats a strong word) my mum didnt attend my sons christening because of this. so that is unfortunatley out.. which is a massive shame as my dads house is big and lovely

I like the idea of the drinks and dance reception !maybe with canapes? How do i find pubs with function rooms? most around here are just plain old pubs ! no dance area or anything!

I would prefer york to be honest, but im still worrying about the whole mum/dad issue aswell, this is another reason i felt the need to have a big lavish do in order to dilute my family with other NORMAL people lol

bubbles0169

http://www.viewmanchester.co.uk/pubsandbars/bars-with-function-rooms-in-manchester-recommended-Manchester-1914.html
our registry office isnt nice either so were saving up to get married somewhere else but if you really cant afford another venue at least youll have the after party you want(ish!)
just ask if theres any other way we can help get the costs down for you x

mummyofboys

ok so another idea.. haha sorry if im doing everyones head in! Do registry office's do ceromonys in the late afternoon? No im thinking wedding there, is £33.50 each to give notice + £43.50 on the day so in total = £110.50

I was thinking of having that then going to evening reception found this place http://www.chorltonirishclub.co.uk/ which does free room hire on functions have tried to ring for prices on catering but not answering yet! I thought a buffet in the evening would be good with drinks/ dancing . However, if i have a later wedding in town then go on to this, would this be too long to leave my family with no food untill the reception? thinking if I go for the meal in between is going to add on at least another £500 quid!

any ideas? my thinking is then i could go to york with my kids for a few days honeymoon

bubbles0169

that place looks nice
can you ring your reg office up and ask them whats the latest time they can marry you then have your food as soon as you can after

mummyofboys

Just called the venue in chorlton they do free room hire if i get the catering with them and they start from £6 per head up to £10. The registry office marry people at 3pm latest

Im really rubbish at this! this is why i always quit, but im never going to go through with it at this rate!

mypie

You know its lovely that you really just want to marry your bf. I can totally understand how you feel. I have been to both lavish and shoe string weddings and to be honest I prefer the shoe string ones. Its normally got much more feelin in it. Have you maybe looked at the holiday inn packages? I don't live near you but there is a hotel in my area that does a whole packagefor £999 http://www.clarioncarrick.com/Article_Listings.aspx?tscategory_id=83&category_name=Under+a+Grand+Weddings...+ so I am sure if you shop about there will be offers similar. I also used cheap wedding success site for ideas for our wedding and it helped lots.

I think you should pick the day that suits both you as a couple and your budget and it will be a day to remember.

mypie

jay_mi10 wrote: »

Just called the venue in chorlton they do free room hire if i get the catering with them and they start from £6 per head up to £10. The registry office marry people at 3pm latest

Im really rubbish at this! this is why i always quit, but im never going to go through with it at this rate!

how many people would be invited?

Alyssa_C_2

Same question as mypie, how many? You can always have the wedding in a years time (or more) giving you time to save. It doesn't have to be a huge expense, you can do it for very little. and £6 per head for buffet is quite cheap.